Control
by ghostwriter4836
Summary: Christian said Elena "helped" him but did she really? Here is his version of what happened between them. *Warning* Rated M for a reason. Enjoy. *REVISED*
1. Chapter 1

**Just thought I'd write a fun little take on this subject. I do not own any right to Fifty Shades. I am just borrowing the characters. Please review, thanks.**

A growl escapes me as I squat with my hands out, poised and ready to fight as the crowd in the parking lot gathers around us. This asshole has been jealous of me for a while since I come from a wealthy family. Fine. But he went too far today.

His parents know mine and he knows that I am adopted. This morning I beat him in a sprint during PE. He is suppose to be the best sprinter on the track team but I beat him….and he was pissed.

After third period, he came up behind me and pushed me spouting all kinds of shit. The one thing he said that stands out in my mind was when he said, "Your parents only adopted you because they pitied you. They don't love you. They just felt sorry for you."

I saw red and lunged at him but another kid grabbed me and told us both to take it outside so we did, right to the parking lot and hopefully away from the teachers' spying eyes.

I feel my blood boiling and the adrenaline rush, wanting to just unleash my anger on him. I will tear him apart.

He lunges at me and I side step him, pivoting around and shoving him to the ground. As soon as I grasp his shirt front I lay into him. In this moment, I do not care about the ramifications of my actions, I just want to shut his fucking mouth for him.

As I punch and punch his face, he gets a few shots at me. I am numb, not feeling my split lip or the swelling to my eye. All I care about is pummeling him till he stops moving.

Suddenly, I am pulled up off of him by three strong male teachers and am dragged fighting in retaliation as they head to the main office. Once in the principal's office, they shove me into a chair.

They stick around while the principal and I talk.

"Well, Christian, another fight, hmm?" He says to me.

"That asshole deserved it," I snap back, still angry that he was conscious when I was led away.

"Christian," Mr. Stewart says getting up from his desk. "When your parents arrive you will explain your side of the story. I will also hear his side. It doesn't matter who started it, you both will serve a one day suspension for fighting, a rule which you are already familiar with." He reminds me.

This is not the first time I have fought in school and it will not be the last either. I heard my parents talking one night about why I get so angry. They had said I did not know how to cope with situations due to my past and that my lack of control caused me to lash out at people.

Man, are they going to be pissed when they get here. Once again, I will probably be grounded to my room as usual.

"Christian!" My mom yells when she enters the office and sees me sitting in the chair with blood on my shirt, a puffy, bloody lip and a swollen black eye.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey, we meet again," Mr. Stewart says shaking their hands.

"Oh Mr. Stewart," my mom says apologetically, "I am so sorry about all this."

"Well, it can not be helped now so why don't we have a seat and let Christian explain.

"He is an asshole," I shout immediately.

"Christian!" My dad says sternly.

"Fine." I snap and proceed to tell them wheat happened though there is not a hint of remorse in my voice as I speak. Why should there be? He _did_ deserve it.

I have calmed down a bit though after my parents came in. They have this way of taking over the situation and putting me in my place.

The silence is deafening in the car on the way home from the school. It is near lunch time so they send me to my room, telling me that when lunch is ready, my mom will bring it up.

Now that I have calmed down and am sitting on my bed I realize just how much I screwed up. Shit, Elena is going to be so mad at me. I secretly smile to myself wickedly, Good. Being with her calms me down.

I feel like I get the punishment I rightly deserve and she is teaching me how to control myself. I need that, _god,_ do I need that right now. I think about her and consciously want to rub the bulge making my jeans tight. NO, no she said abso-fucking-lutely not, under any circumstances am I to touch myself when not in her presence.

I clench my jaw, willing away the urge so I will not get in trouble when I see her again. She can read me and would know if I lied to her about it.

"Christian," my mom says as she comes into my room. "Here is your lunch." She sets a tray down with two chicken sandwiches, some fruit, and a salad. She always makes me a lot of food because she knows I like to eat and that I will eat it all.

"Christian," she says softly. "I just spoke with Elena on the phone. She asked if you were all right when she saw us drive past her house. She has asked if you could clean her pool in about an hour. Your dad thinks it is a good idea that you do some manual labor as punishment for getting thrown out of school again."

I do my best to keep my fear and excitement undetectable as I listen to my mom. Yes, I fear Elena and how she might hurt me yet at the same time, it excites me too. _Pool cleaning_, yeah that is what I'll be doing while I am there, WRONG.

I kiss my mom and tell her and my dad goodbye as they head back to work. Now I have to head over to Elena's house. I know that her husband will not be home for several hours just like my parents so we have plenty of time.


	2. Control 2 The Playroom

**So I have decided to revise this story and I apologize for the change so bear with me. Please review and let me know what you think. With my other projects cluttering my mind, I didn't feel like I had done a very good job with this one so here is the new and improved version.**

I walk up to the door and knock. I am anxious as I wait for it to open. When it does, Elena is standing there in her red suit. The skirt is short and she has on a white top under the red jacket. Her red stillettos make her tower over me and her platinum hair is pulled up. With her confident stance she is the image of a powerful business woman.

"Christian," She says using a professional tone with me. "Go get ready for me."

I know that she means I have to go downstairs to her dungeon playroom, strip down, and put on the black thong underwear. Then I am to kneel in the corner silently with my eyes lowered until she commands me.

This is our second meeting in the playroom since the day she slapped me and kissed me. The first time we were in here she told me she was going to be gentle since it was new to me but she warned me that this time we would take it to a whole new level.

I am in position when she walks in but even though I can't see her I hear the click of her heels and see her feet as she comes to stand in front of me. I want to look up at her but that is against the rules. I have to follow the rules or I will be punished.

"Christian," she orders, "Stand up."

I stand and she is so close that I can smell the sweet coconut scent of her. Her scent and the heat I can feel radiating from her is intoxicating and I just want to drown in all that she is.

I know I need this. I fight to keep control of everything around me but here I don't have to. She is in charge and I must obey. I like not having to think about how fucked up my life is, how I fucked up the crack whore's life by even being born.

"Christian!" She yells and slaps me hard on my face but I force myself to resist raising my eyes because that is not allowed.

"Yes mistress?" I respond as I had been taught.

"You have been very naughty so you will be spanked. Go over to the bench," she points to the spanking bench with the riding crop in her hand.

"Yes mistress," I respond and go to stand in front of it.

I am embarrassed by the fact that I am already hard and the thin black material over my cock does not leave anything to the imagination. My body is starting to tremble as I await her next instructions.

Elena slowly walks up behind me and pushes me over the bench. Once bent over with my ass fully exposed, she proceeds to cuff my ankles and wrists in place so I cannot move.

"What are you being punished for Christian?" She demands, her tone stern and angry.

I hesitate in answering and she leans down grabbing a fist full of hair, yanking my head up.

"Christian, you will answer me when I ask you a question. Is that understood!" She yells.

"Y…Yes mistress," I choke out.

"Now," she pauses, "What are you being punished for?"

"For fighting in school," I say.

"And?" She prompts.

"Fo…for losing control of myself, mistress," I add.

"Exactly, now you will count as I spank you eight times," She demands.

But just as I ready myself for the first blow, I hear her move but cannot see her clearly to know what she is doing.

_Whack_

"Ow, shit!" I yell. She is not using the crop like last time she is using something hard, a paddle maybe.

"Wrong response Christian," she says angrily, "Now we start over until you respond correctly."

_Whack_

"One," I yell through my gritted teeth. Damn, that paddle stings my ass.

_Whack_

"Two!"

_Whack_

"Three!"

_Whack_

"Four!"

_Whack_

"Five," my ass is on fire from the attack but my mind and body are consumed by the sensations of the pain of the beating and her controlling me, making me do what she wants that I become rock hard and don't want it to stop.

She senses that in me and says, "You want me to beat your ass three more times, don't you Christian?"

"Yes, mistress, please," I beg.

_Whack_

"Six!" I scream.

_Whack_

"Seven!" I cannot contain the lump in my throat. I try but cannot fight back the tears stinging my eyes. _Yes, one more, I gotta have it. I gotta take it! I deserve it!_

_Whack_

"Eight!" I say through my sobs. My ass burns so bad there has to be paddle marks on it.

Elena uncuffs me and helps me to stand up again.

"Very good Christian." She says and presses a hand against my front. "You want to come, don't you?"

"Yes mistress," I plead.

"Look at me Christian," She demands and I hesitate before raising my eyes.

_Smack_

Her hand stings my jaw but she immediately grabs the back of my head hard and kisses me.

"You did well for a beginner so I will reward you," she says though the look on her face is fierce and serious. "Would you like that?"

"Yes mistress, please let me come," I respond.

Elena kneels down and tugs the thong on her way but only enough to expose my aching cock. She rubs her thumb over the tip, spreading the moisture around before taking me in her mouth.

God, her mouth is hot as she deep throats me, swirling her tongue and sucking hard. My knees feel like they are going to give out. I am panting and my heart is racing as my blood boils in my veins. I can't help but grab the bench with my hands to hold myself up.

She suddenly stops and orders, "Don't come yet Christian."

I want to so badly. I want to explode! I can feel it building inside me, my balls tightening.

She moves away and over to the bed. The feeling subsides a little without her touching me.

Before she sits on the very edge of the bed, she pulls her skirt up and orders, "Come here."

I walk over and stand in front of her awaiting instructions.

She takes my hand and presses it to her wet folds. God, this woman is hot. She pushes my fingers into her hot wet center.

"I want you to fuck me Christian. I want you to feel inside me. This is for my pleasure not yours so you will not come yet." she says taking the clip from her hair and tossing it aside. Her platinum stands spreading out around her head.

I move my fingers slowly, watching them slide in and out of her coating them with her wetness. The faster and deeper I move them, the more her body starts to writhe on the bed.

She raises her legs and rests her heels on the edge of the bed. Her eyes are half closed as she presses against my fingers.

"Deeper Christian," she says breathlessly.

I though I was deep enough but she sits up and grabs my hand, cupping my thumb into my palm.

Then she lays back and instructs me, "push it in slowly, all the way."

I do as she says until she breathes, "Stop, there."

I am mesmerized that she took me in all the way to my wrist. Damn, I didn't know that was possible.

"Move slowly, steady," she instructs.

I move my arm but don't take it all the way past the bones hugging my wrist. She is so wet that it drips from her as she continues to squirm on the bed and moan. It is so fucking sexy to see that I can do that to her, give her that pleasure.

I am so ready to come when I feel her muscles tighten around my arm and she cries out, "Yes! Yes, fuck me." Her body stiffens, shudders and quivers.

"Now it's your turn," she says and wraps her legs around me.

I slide into her easily because she is so wet and ready. I thrust hard and fast, not holding anything back. But I am so worked up that it doesn't take long before I feel the tension in my spine and the building explosion that shakes my entire body as I fill her.

"Fuck!" I cry out as the spasms rock my body.

Elena holds still as I gasp for air and come down from my high.

"For a beginner, you were a good boy today," She praises me but her business like demeanor remains.

"Get dressed and meet me upstairs." She says and I pull out of her so she can straighten her skirt before she leaves the room.

I have to take a moment to clear my head and fumble to get dressed. As I pull on my jockies and jeans I still feel the sting on my ass but it reminds me that I got the punishment I deserved.


	3. Control 3 Elliot and the Car

I reluctantly make my way down to breakfast, knowing that my mom would expect it even though I get to stay home from school today. A full day at home all because of that asshole I fought.

"Good morning Christian," Grace says.

"Hi," I respond taking a sea at the breakfast bar.

"Hey bruiser," Elliot grins.

I just narrow my eyes at him as does my mom. He always has to say something stupid.

"What," he asks innocently?

My mom shakes her head and then turns to address me, "Christian, I got you an appointment with Dr. Michaels today at four so Elliot will meet you here and take you."

"Elliot, great. You worry about me getting into a fight but you will let me get in a car with him?" I say sarcastically.

"Yes," she replies, "and Elliot will be the epitome of the perfect driver. Won't you Elliot?"

"Of course mom," he smiles and then it turns a bit evil in his eyes when he looks at me.

After they all leave for school and work, I figure I might as well get some homework done. I have two projects due next week and have to read some lame book for another class so I get started.

By afternoon, my work is done and my thoughts drift to yesterday, Elena. She was so in charge of me that I didn't have to think or feel any of the usual turbulent emotions that plague my existence.

I know I deserved that spanking and more for even being born. If it wasn't for me, the crack whore's life would have been better. I was in the way, a bother, to her and her pimp.

On top of that, I cannot control my emotions, which thankfully Elena is helping me learn. I cannot get kicked out of another school. It would destroy my mom and I know she loves me. The biggest proof of that is when she presses her cheek to mine and kisses me without touching me. It is our way of hugging without actually doing it.

She knows my boundries and does not cross them. If she didn't love me she would not tolerate my issues. The same goes for my dad and siblings though I can't figure out why they would love someone "bad".

That is what I am. I am a bad kid who should never have this chance at a real life. The pimp always told me I was bad when he used me as an ashtray. At that time, I could not lash out like I can now. No, I was too scared and weak to fight him off when I got angry at him.

Sure Elena beats me because I deserve it but it is different. She is also teaching me how to control my anger by letting it go in our sessions. Of course, I am not stupid. Her methods are very unorthodox but it is helping. The flame of rage inside me is just a flicker after she is done with me.

I can almost feel the paddle stinging my ass as she beats me. God, it felt so fucking good. I am not sure when I will see her next but I will remember what we did in order to help me fight the rage.

I close my eyes and relax on the bed. With trembling fingers, I unfasten my jeans and pull my now hard cock free. As I wrap my fingers around it and slowly stroke it, I envision the spanking bench, being bent over it, cuffed. Elena's demanding voice shouting at me when I hesitate to respond.

"Oh mistress," I groan aloud.

My pace increases and I am panting while my heart races in my chest. _Yes, beat me with the paddle_, I think to myself.

I can feel it, my release. Closer and closer as I pump my aching cock with images of Elena, the playroom, and the sound of the paddle smacking my ass consume me!

"Bro," Elliot's voice comes from the door.

"Ugh…" I groan as I come, spilling over my hand right in front of my brother who is wide-eyed in the doorway.

I slam my head back on the bed, damn him! He could at least knock before coming into my room.

"Feel better, bro?" He grins.

"Fuck off Elliot," I respond tiredly.

"Fine, fine. I'll…uh…meet you downstairs." He says.

Oh yeah, I have to go see the good doctor today. Great. That is just how I want to spend the afternoon. I clean myself off and get dressed, heading down the stairs.

When I see Elliot at the breakfast bar holding a soda, I groan. The look on his face is wicked. It is humiliating enough to get caught jerking off but to have Elliot hold it over my head, and he will, is torture.

"At least you will be nice and relaxed for your little talk with the doctor," He mocks, picking up his car keys.

"Shut up, Elliot." I growl, "Keep this to yourself," I say following him out the door.

"Would I say anything to anyone about you beating your meat?" Elliot laughs.

Oh god, why do I have to be related to him, I wonder as I hear him laugh all the way to the car. Once inside, I think he is going to start the car up but he just looks at me.

"At least tell me you were having a great fantasy with a bunch of hot chicks since you don't seem very interested in the real thing." He quirks a brow at me.

Up to the point when I started with Elena recently, I was too busy concentrating on school and getting into trouble. Now that I should be looking at girls and start dating, all I can think about is Elena. No girl can give me what she does, especially a high school girl.

Elena is a confidant older woman who knows her body, and now mine, so I don't really have any interest in the girls at school and I definitely cannot tell Elliot about her.

"Just drive," I say in a bored tone, hoping he will get off the subject.

"Come on, dude, level with me. You aren't thinking about guys are you?" He asks, pulling out of the driveway.

"No, now will you shut up already," I demand.

Elliot just chuckles and replies, "Thank fuck for that."

All the way to Dr. Michaels office I can't help but think that it is only Tuesday so I have the whole week ahead of me. What will happen next?


	4. Control 4 Therapy Session

**I thank those who are sticking with me through these changes as I am trying to catch up the story. Please review and let me know your thoughts. They help a writer to know that someone is reading and how the story is being perceived. That is important! Thanks again.**

Dr. Michaels' office always smells like leather and cupcakes. The couch and two chairs are brown leather as is his desk chair. The desk, coffee table, end tables, and bookcase are a rich mahogany.

He told me at our first meeting that his interior designer wife helped to warm up the room with the dim lighting, cream colored throw blanket over the end of the couch, and a couple of matching pillows lying in the two chairs.

He also has two large art pieces with just a splash of color on two of the walls while his degrees are arranged behind his desk. Of course, he has some large candles in a centerpiece on the coffee table that give off the cupcake smell.

"Hello Christian," he says holding the door and closing it behind me.

I flop down in one of the chairs. He had told me at our first meeting that he wanted us to be comfortable around each other and sitting in the chairs across from one another is anything but confrontational.

He makes himself comfortable in the opposite chair, crossing his leg over the other and leaning back. In his hand are his notepad and pen, ready to write down everything I say that he can throw back at me later.

"Where would you like to start today?" He asks.

_Nowhere,_ I think to myself but just shrug at him.

"Well, we do have a lot to discuss regarding your past but I think maybe first we ought to discuss your fight at school yesterday."

"What about it?" I say and I know he hates it when I don't dive into my feelings but remain vague.

"What caused it?" He asks, preparing his pen to begin writing.

"The guy was being an asshole, talked smack about my family." I tell him honestly.

"And that angered you?" He asks.

_No dipshit, I leaped for joy._ "Of course it angered me."

"Why?" He asks.

"He doesn't have the right to talk about them like that." I snap.

"What did he say?" The doctor prompts.

So I take a sigh, holding my anger at the good doctor at bay though I want to just tell him to fuck off. I explained the situation to him while he writes vigorously on his notepad and nods his response to let me know he is listening.

"So how did that make you feel besides being angry?" He quirks a brow at me and waits for my response.

"I don't know," I snap back.

"Yes you do, Christian." His voice is softer now as his eyes probe mine, searching for what he wants.

I don't want to talk about this with him or anyone else. I really, _really_, want to punch the guy to shut him up because thinking about it brings it all back. I have to learn to control my emotions not lash out to cover them.

"Christian?" he brings me out of my thoughts, "What other feelings did you have at that time?"

His gaze is intense, his questioning pushing me. I clench my fists in my lap. I don't want to say it! I can't say it!

"Christian!" he says sternly.

"Hurt…okay!" I yell, burying my head in my hands.

The silence in the room is deafening as I wait for his response. What is he doing? Is he writing something? Probably. My file is already a million pages thick why not add more?

I can't look up at him. I can't stand to see the look he undoubtedly has in his eyes. He knows. Even if I hadn't said it, he knows how I felt.

You were hurt by his words?" He asks.

"Yes, I just wanted him to shut up, to stop saying that my family doesn't love me," I spit out.

"Did he make you doubt your family's love?" He asks.

"What? No, I know that they love me," I say raising my head to look at him. "I just…"

"You just _what_ Christian," he pushes.

"I just don't know why?" I yell and suddenly realize that I am standing up in front of my chair, hands clenched at my sides, seething.

There it is, that look. Dr. Michaels' eyes are sparkling as he stares at me. It is that look of triumph. He used my lack of ability to control my emotions to get me to verbally lash out and in the process, admit the root cause of the entire fight.

"You don't think you deserve their love?" he questions me more.

"You already know the answer to that," I snarl.

There is no way I am giving him any more ammunition. He knows that I don't think I am worthy of the unconditional love that my family has for me. I don't deserve their kindness, their hearts.

"Okay," he states.

This is why I hate coming here, Dr. Michaels manipulates me into talking to him, telling him things I would try to hold back until he makes me so angry that I go off blurting out everything, and I fall for it. God, this guy is an asshole.

"Well, Christian, our time is up for today. I'll get my receptionist to contact your mother regarding the next visit." He stands and shakes my hand.

I say nothing but nod back. When I open the door to see Elliot sitting in a chair reading some entertainment magazine, I wonder to myself, _how much did he hear?_ We were pretty loud. Knowing Elliot, even though he is a douche most of the time, he won't acknowledge that he heard any of our conversation. I see his sympathetic expression though and that confirms that he heard something.

"Ready?" he asks standing up.

"Yeah, lets go," I say heading straight for the outside entrance.

On the way home, I just watch the landscape fry by at warp speed while Elliot sings along with the radio. My anger has subsided though as I remember that my outlet is Elena and that I just need to wait until I see her again to vent my emotions in the playroom.


	5. Control 5 Accident

**So I hope I didn't put off my readers who had read this story before I revised it since I haven't seen much in the reviews. Thank you to sam5973 for your review. It's nice to know someone is reading the new version. Please let me know what you think about my take on the characters and any any other thoughts you have.**

I stare out the window watching the landscape fly by at warp speed While Elliot sings out of tune with the radio. He never said he heard us yelling from the waiting area but then something like this, Elliot would keep to himself. He may be a huge goof most of the time but he is empathetic as well.

After spending an hour in my room just napping, Mia bangs on the door yelling, "Dinner time." When I don't come down after fifteen minutes, I hear a quiet knock on my door.

"Come in," I yell.

"Christian?" My mom asks as she comes in and over to sit on the edge of the bed with me. "I know you are hungry. Come down and eat with us."

I give her an exasperated look but when it comes to my mom, I can't deny her. I know it is important to her that we eat as a family so for her, I reluctantly get up and follow.

As I stare at the family I belong to engaging in conversation and I don't feel worthy enough to sit around the table with them. Though they seem oblivious to it, it's at the forefront of my mind.

**Next day…**

I am sitting with my friends in the cafeteria when my phone vibrates. I look down to see a call from my mom. _Why would she be calling me at this time of day?_

"Hello?" I answer.

"Christian, it's mom." Her voice sounds strained.

"Yeah mom, what is it?" I ask now concerned by her tone of voice instantly making me anxious.

"It's Elliot. He was in an accident during his lunch hour. I am on my way to the hospital now." She says frantically.

"Are you alright?" I ask because she sounds terribly panicked.

"Yes, I'm ok," she says softly, "I'll call you later about arrangements."

"Okay," I tell her.

"Christian, I love you." She says and I am taken back by her need to say that since I believe it is to make herself feel better. It comforts her to hear my voice and know that I am all right. She probably called Mia's phone too.

"I know mom, bye," I say and hang up.

An hour later, the text from my mom informs me that Grandma Travelyan is picking up Mia from school and taking her to their house and Elena will pick me up and take me home. She and dad will be home later in the night.

Elliot and Mia go to the same school but since I got thrown out of there, I am at a different one. In fact, this is my third high school.

By the end of the school day I am completely wound up. Mom's text said that Elliot has a broken arm, various bruises and cuts, whiplash, and a concussion. The doctor wants to keep him over night for observation. It pisses me off that some idiot hit him and only got away with some scrapes according to the story my mom received. My blood is boiling and I want to fucking punch something, _hard_! At the same time, all my frustration is redirected to one area of my body with the thought of being in Elena's car with her.

When I come out of the school I see her sitting there in her convertible Maserati with her hair in a pony tail and her tight spandex work out clothes on I almost come in my pants. _Damn, she still looks so put together and sophisticated, even in work out clothes._ The girls in school have nothing in comparison so a real woman. Elena is strong-minded and confidant yet maintains a very feminine appeal. Her clothes, hair, and make-up are always perfectly done and she always smells of sweet coconuts.

I get in her car and shove my backpack between my feet. I know by her hesitation to pull away from the curb that he is looking at me, assessing me. When I look into her eyes, I see a knowing and sympathetic look. She smiles and puts the car in gear.

"You okay?" She says as we drive.

I don't know if I can even speak with all the sexual tension radiating between us and the rage burning inside me, so I turn my head away from her, clenching my teeth together.

"Christian," she says my name with her Dom voice.

My head snaps around to look at her and I respond automatically with, "No."

She nods while continuing to watch the road but her hand moves between my legs. I can feel the heat from her even through the fabric of my jeans and I know she feels my hard on too.

She rubs me as she drives and slowly the tension starts to subside some, but not near enough for me to relax, to get a handle on the rage I feel for the asshole that hurt my brother and caused my parents unneeded stress. He even caused my grandma to have to drop her day to get Mia from school and Elena's to get me. So many people are affected by his actions and I just want to pound the guy for being so stupid, for upsetting my people in my life.

Before I realize it, Elena has pulled the car into the garage at _her_ house. _Holy fuck, she can read my mind. Yes, yes…this is exactly what I need right now. God, I want this so badly!_

"Is this okay?" She asks and I know what she means without her having to explain it.

"Perfectly okay," I respond too quickly.

Her heels echo on the hard wood floor as we go inside. The house is otherwise silent as we make our way through.

At the door to the basement, Elena stops and says softly, "Go on and get ready."

She doesn't have to tell me twice as I fly down the stairs and into the playroom. My thoughts are all over the place as I try to comprehend what she might do to me.

It feels like forever until I finally hear her heels clicking towards the room. I hear the door open, close, and lock as I maintain eye contact with the floor. She comes to stand in front of me.

"Christian, are you ready?" She asks.

"Yes, yes I need this, mistress, please." I beg.

"You need _what_, Christian?" She asks in her stern Dom tone.

"Please, I need you to beat me….beat me hard," I plead.

She kneels down and smacks me, "Try again!" she demands.

"Beat me, beat me hard, mistress!" I yell correcting my statement.

"Go stand by the suspension," she orders and I do as told quickly because I am already about to explode from the thoughts of what she is going to do to me.


	6. Control 6 Playroom

Elena strolls determinedly up to me where I stand just off center of the room. She takes first my left, then right wrists and attaches the cuffs that are hanging from chains in the ceiling. Then she attaches the floor cuffs to my ankles. She pulls the chains tight to restrict my movement. _Damn my arms are pulled straight and tight up above my head._

Elena comes around to stand in front of me and says, "Now Christian, you remember the safe words?"

"Yes mistress," I respond breathless already.

"You will use them if it is too much for you?" She asks and I can tell by her gaze that she needs me to be honest with her that she needs to be able to trust that I will use them if I need them.

"Yes mistress," I respond seriously.

"Good, then let's get started," she says.

She walks behind me and after a minute or so I am being blindfolded from behind. She ties it so I can't see anything and I feel her close to my back.

"Still okay?" She asks.

I am already trembling with anticipation and being blindfolded will not give me the opportunity to prepare myself for whatever she is going to do to me. It makes me extremely nervous and yet excited.

"Yes mistress," I respond accordingly.

Then I hear her hells clicking again, moving away first but soon coming back. She got something, but what? Then I feel something hard rolling over my chest. She knows that only toys can touch me, not her hands so she is careful to abide by my hard limit.

The object rolls down my chest and over my stomach before going back up to rollover and tease my nipples. The mixture of being tied up, naked _except for the thong,_ and forced to feel the light touches is so erotic that my heart is pounding in my ears and my breaths come in short gasps.

She moves behind me and begins to roll the hard long object down my back, over my behind, and down my legs. I cannot control my trembling body as she continues to confuse me by her actions.

_Crack_

_ "OW!" HOLY FUCK that hurt! _Elena just hit me with a cane.

"Christian!" she yells. "I did not give you permission to speak."

"I'm sorry mistress," I beg for forgiveness.

_Crack_

_Crack_

_Crack_

That's four on my back and I can envision the red-welted areas where she hit me. It fucking hurts bad but with being so consumed with rage, I want her to knock it out of me.

Elena come to stand in front of me and warns, "Ready?"

I tense, knowing that she is going to hit me on my front. _Will it hurt like my back?_

"Yes mistress," I say.

"What do you want Christian?" She asks.

"Hit me, fucking hit me!" Adrenaline is surging through my veins. _Release the rage,_ my mind screams, _the harder the hit the more rage that dissipates_.

For the front, she hits me and then rolls the cane over the area before hitting me again.

_Crack, roll_

_Crack, roll_

Shit, it fucking hurts so bad I feel the tears well in my eyes.

_Crack, roll_

_Crack, roll_

I don't know, I don't think I can take it.

_Crack, roll_

_Crack, roll_

"RED!" I cry out through my sudden sobs that I could no longer contain.

Elena immediately drops the cane and unfastens the cuffs but my skin is burning and I am so fucking hard as I instantly fall to my knees when my wrists are uncuffed. I bury my face in my hands, ashamed that I had to safe word but all my rage feels like it is pouring out through my tears.

"Christian?" Elena asks, her voice soft and gentle. "Christian look at me."

I continue to sob uncontrollably there in the middle of the playroom floor. Suddenly, I feel a soft fleece robe cover my shoulders and I know Elena would be holding me right now if I could handle someone touching me.

That is her way of comforting me without breaking my rule. That is how I know she cares about me. She respects my limits and at the same time pushes my limits with me.

Finally, after I don't know how long, I look up to see her on her knees in front of me. Her expression is one of sympathy as if she knows exactly how I feel.

"Are you alright?" She asks.

I nod and offer a small smile, which makes her concerned expression change to relief. She stands and holds out her hand. I take it and stand up. She takes me over to the bed and I sit while she gets some soothing cream for my bruised skin.

As I glance in the mirror on the wall, I see the thick red welts covering my chest and stomach. She did beat me just like I had asked. I am going to have to remember not to change my shirt in front of Elliot or my mom, which I have absent-mindedly done in the past.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will have black and blue bruises for a while after the caning. But would I let her do it again? _Hell yes!_

"Do you want to stop?" Elena questions.

"I…I want to…" I stammer.

"What Christian, what do you want?" She asks cupping my cheek in her palm.

"…To fuck you," I say, my hard on having never gone away.

Elena smiles and moves to the center of the bed. She pulls her red skirt up to reveal that she had no panties on, as usual, and gets on all fours.

"Take me from behind," she breathes.

I get behind her and ease in slowly. _Damn, she is so wet and ready for me._

"Grab my hips tight, Christian," she instructs. "Fuck me hard."

My heart beat speeds up and I do as she says. Holding her hips to move her I slam into her hard and fast. My filling her is like igniting the end of a stick of dynamite within my core, traveling along the wick until _BAM_ and I shoot my seed into her.

"Oh fuck," My groan is strained as my cock pulses inside of her tight heat.

When I am reduced to a quivering puddle of mush, Elena moves until I am out of her and turns over. She cups my face with her hands.

"Do you feel better?" She asks.

"Yes," and it's the truth, I do. "But what about you?" I ask knowing that she didn't come yet.

"Christian, I think you needed this after the way you looked when I picked you up from school." She gets up and straightens up her suit. "Now get dressed and come to the patio. I'll get us some drinks." Then she leaves the playroom.

"Damn, that woman is amazing," I say aloud, alone in the playroom.

**Thank you Princess of Darkness, ArellaWhite, and pandango for your reviews. The reviews really do help with motivation to continue the story. If no one is reading, why write? **


	7. Control 7 Elliot's Confession

**3****rd**** person POV**

"Mom, dad, can I talk to you about something for a minute?" Elliot says to Grace and Carrick who are sitting in his hospital room with their trays from the cafeteria choosing to eat in his room with him.

"Sure son," Carrick says casually.

"It's about what Christian told Dr. Micheals." Elliot says rather softly.

"Elliot, were you listening?" Grace asks disturbed that her son would do such a thing.

"No mom, I was sitting in the waiting room but Christian started yelling and I over heard what he said. I was an accident."

"Well, their conversations are private so we should not interfere." Grace commented.

"But," Carrick interrupted, "If you feel you need to talk about it we are here for you too."

Elliot continued eating and pondered whether or not he should say anything. After a few minutes of silence he said, "I don't know what they said up to that point but when Christian yelled he said that he _knew_ we loved him, he just didn't know _why_."

Grace saw the hurt look in Elliot's eyes as he spoke and came up next to his bed, petting the back of his head.

"Well son, since we cannot directly ask Christian about this, all we can do is remind him of the _why_ when the opportunity presents itself. In the meantime, all we can do is tell him that we love him and maybe over time the _why_ will not matter?" Carrick explained.

"Good idea, dad. I was just worried about him cause when he came out he was unusually quiet and sort of, I don't know, distant." Elliot explains.

After they finished eating, Grace was reading while Carrick was catching up on some work giving his attention to some files from his briefcase while Elliot watched TV and texted people.

"Look, why don't you guys go home. Christian is there by himself. I am fine and I have nurses all over the place to take care of me." Elliot said.

"Are you sure, honey?" Grace looked concerned.

"Yeah, go on." Elliot motioned toward the door.

Carrick nodded to Grace and they gathered their belongings to head home.

**Christian's POV**

After eating my mac & cheese, I am sitting at the piano playing the song from _Ice Castles_ called Through The Eyes of Love. I am playing it through the third time and started singing along when I hear the door to the garage open.

_Who would be coming in now? Surely not mom and dad, it's only 7pm._ My mom comes in first with dad following her, both with smiles on their faces and I know it is because my mom loves this song.

She immediately comes over and sits down next to me on the bench. My dad takes a seat in a nearby chair. They do not interrupt me as I play and I continue playing and singing until I come to the end.

"Hi Christian," My mom says patting my cheek.

"Hi…what are you guys doing home? I thought you were staying the evening with Elliot?"

"No," Carrick says, "he is doing fine so we thought we would come home and spend some time with you. If you want."

"Is that guy going to pay for what he did to Elliot?" I ask my dad keeping direct eye contact.

"Yes, with insurance and all, he has to cover all medical and car costs. Plus, his insurance will go up." My dad explains.

"That's it!" I respond and I can sense my mom and dad both tensing up, waiting for the blow out. They are so used to it by now that they expect it. I do too, but I feel the fabric of my t-shirt against my tender, bruised torso and it all comes back to me. I remember each hit and how I begged for it in order to end my rage.

"Yes dear," my mom says too softly, afraid of my next move.

Just as quickly as the adrenaline rush starts, it stops, or slows anyway. The crack of the cane reverberates inside my head and for a moment I cannot even speak.

I take a deep breath, "At least he got something," I say annoyed and stand up, pacing around the piano.

The look on my parents' faces when I speak and continue to just pace is priceless. I think they are completely shocked that I didn't come completely unglued and slam my fist into the wall or something. For now, all I need to do is take a minute in the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror and remember.

The rest of the week does not go well. Elliot came home on Thursday and Mia, being so young was all over the place trying to help him. Then she got upset and barely touched her dinner on Thursday night.

Elliot is getting around fine and he was lucky that his broken arm was his left and he writes with his right. But seeing him struggle with some of the smaller things that should be easy if his arm was not broken is what fills me with rage against the driver all over again.

Mom got called into work late on Thursday night and was gone all night. On Friday, Mia didn't feel well so mom stayed home with her but she whined all through breakfast.

Dad misplaced a file he needed and ranted about the house, tearing his office apart to find it.

Although my chest, stomach, and back are still quite dark with bruising, but the feeling is fading and I am getting restless. I can think of no other options so I text Elena.

WHEN CAN I SEE YOU? –ME

_NO RESPONSE_

I sit on my bed waiting…Finally I have to get ready and go out with some friends. We hang out at a pizza/arcade place on Fridays so I make sure that my phone is close in case Elena texts back.

I am just about to put on my t-shirt when my door abruptly opens and I hear the gasp from behind me. I turn to see Elliot standing there wide eyed and in utter shock.

"What the fuck!?" Elliot shouts.

I quickly pull on my shirt and grab his good arm to pull him into my room before shutting the door.

"Can't you ever knock?" I growl at him.

"Come on," Elliot demands, "out with it, bro."

My body is rigid and tense as I stare at him, daring him to cross me, injured or not.

"Look Lelliot," I try to make light of it, "This is nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Bro, you look like someone beat the shit out of you." He Says still shocked.

I sigh, "They did…but only because I asked them to."

"What?" He shouts again.

I shove him against the wall, "Listen, don't ask me anything. Just know that when I was really angry, it…helped. With his look of pure confusion, I continue, "It calmed me down. That. Is. All. You. Need. To. Know."

Then I let him go and he just stands there staring at me with his mouth hanging open for what seemed like forever.

"Bro…I…"

"Don't Elliot! I am not discussing this any further. You saw nothing. I won't talk about it again." I say firmly.

"Fine bro," he say and I can see the hurt in his expression but he offers a small smile and ruffles my hair.

Before he leaves my room, he stops in the doorway and says, "If you need anything, you know I am here right? Love you, bro." And he is gone.

_What I need, only Elena can give me…._

**Thank you for reviewing! I didn't think it would be that hard to be a 15 yr old boy and a Dom/Sub but it is harder than you think. If you have any suggestions please let me know. Keep reading, please.**


	8. Control 8 Good Morning

**So Elena is a witch to Ana in the books which I believe is jealousy. In the books, Christian does turn to her when he needs a friend to talk to and she is there for him. From reading the books I get the impression that although she does some nasty things to Christian and Ana, it is all because of Ana being in Christian's life. He has relied on Elena for their 6 year affair and then as a friend and business partner. I think she does care for him, even loves him so I am not making her pure evil. She may be doing some harsh things to him but, he is asking for it and does so for 6 years.**

** Thanks for reviewing and letting me know your thoughts, it helps so much. KEEP IT UP AND ENJOY!**

I hear giggling women as I come downstairs on Saturday morning. When I enter the kitchen, I am taken back momentarily. ELENA IS HERE! She and my mom are sitting at the breakfast bar with coffee and laughing about something.

I cannot think with the pounding of my heart thudding through my ears. _Act natural, act natural, act natural,_ I chant to myself. Mom looks up smiling and Elena does too at the same time they notice me. There is nothing in her expression that would give any indication of what is going on between us. If she can do that so can I.

"Hi Elena, mom," I say casually as I walk to the refrigerator and get some orange juice.

"Hi Christian," Elena replies lightly.

"Christian, I made pancakes and omelets for breakfast. Would you like some?" My mom says.

"Sure," I reply.

While my mom makes me up a plate, her back is to us. Elena smiles at me suggestively and I smile back. Then she talks to my mom but I think it is for my benefit.

"Oh Grace," she starts, "This weekend is so busy for me. I have to go shopping for a banquet Linc and I have to attend tonight and then a family gathering tomorrow." She quickly glances at me.

My mom sets my plate down across from Elena and I dive in trying not to look at her too much but it is really hard. She is dressed in a short blue dress with high heels and looks as amazing as ever.

"Oh by the way," she says, "Monday I am doing some cleaning. Do you think Christian would help me with some boxes?" she asks and looks at me. "If you want to and have the time, that is?"

Immediately, I am anxious and ready to agree on the spot but I wait for my mom to respond.

"Christian, is that okay with you?"

"Yeah mom, I can help her." I try to sound indifferent but my gaze toward Elena is heated, I can feel it.

"Good," Elena says smiling.

Then my mom addresses me, "So what are you doing tonight?"

"The guys are going to Jake's. I'll be home by curfew." I tell her.

How can she not see that I am about to explode from the tension in the room, the _sexual _tension between Elena and I? I just want to bury myself in her but not before she ties me up and, _as Elliot put it, _beat the shit out of me. I am so ready for that.

"Excuse me a moment," my mom says when a grumbly Mia comes in, rubbing her eyes, not feeling well. "Come on sweetie, let's get you some medicine."

Elena is suddenly behind me with her mouth near my ear, "Christian," she says in her Dom voice while she presses her hand against my hard cock, "Take care of this, but when you do, put these on." She whispers and hands me nipple clamps that she had shown me before. "Make sure they are tight," she instructs. "Think of me paddling your bare ass while you are bent over wearing nothing but a cock cage that won't allow you to come."

I am nearly panting as I listen to her and image what she is saying.

Then she grabs the back of my head, _hard._ "Not enough? I will beat your ass with that paddle till it is crimson and stinging so you can't sit comfortably for a week."

_Fuck, I could come in my pants right now!_

She moves back to her seat when we hear the click of my mom's shoes on the hardwood floor.

I shove the nipple clamps in my pocket quickly and clear my throat trying to calm my nerves. I can feel my wet tip against my jockies so I get up and put my plate in the sink when my mom returns.

"Good to see you Elena. Have a nice weekend." I manage to choke out.

"Where are you off to?" my mom asks.

"Oh, just going upstairs," I respond and although I want to make a mad dash to my room, I force myself to walk casually.

As soon as I shut and lock my door I nearly run to my bed. I shove my shirt up and immediately put the clamps on. _Damn, they are already adjusted so tight._ Then I free myself quickly and wrap my hand around my hard cock.

My phone pings and I glance at it.

TAKE YOUR TIME! STROKE IT SLOWLY FROM BASE TO TIP. IT FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT? TO HAVE THOSE CLAMPS BITING INTO YOUR SENSITIVE NIPPLES MAKING YOUR WHOLE BODY TINGLE, SETTING YOUR NERVES ON EDGE.

OH BABY, YES, STROKE YOUR COCK. COME FOR ME OR I WILL PUNISH YOU!

"_Oh fuck, yes…"_ I groan as I feel my balls tighten and sensations race through my spine. I come hard, panting and writhing on the bed. My body goes limp as I struggle to breathe. I needed that. A calm resolve washes over me and I close my eyes, savoring the moment.

When I come downstairs, Mia is curled up on the couch under a blanket. She is so precious. I sit down next to her and she curls into me. I wrap my arm around her and snuggle her. I know she doesn't feel good and I have this overwhelming need to make her feel better so I give her my undivided attention as we watch cartoons.

I don't hear mom and Elena so I assume Elena left. That is okay because Monday will be here soon enough.


	9. Control 9 Playroom Time

Monday finally! School drags on forever as I constantly stare at the clock, waiting. My anxiety is almost uncontrollable as the seconds tick by. I am not sure what lesson my teacher even went over in my last class of the day.

Over the weekend, my mom spent Saturday night through Monday morning at the hospital while my dad worked from home and between us, took care of a sick little Mia and an annoyingly injured Elliot.

Mia was like a yoyo of emotions. One minute she was laughing at the TV and the next, she was crying because her fever had gone back up.

Elliot was sucking up the fact that he was injured and asking for everything. I think he just wanted to see me running around to accommodate him.

As soon as I get home from school, I tell my mom goodbye and head to Elena's house. It is not a long walk but it gives me a few minutes to try to calm my nerves, if that is even possible with the thoughts running rampant through my mind.

She is already dressed in her red suit when I arrive and follows me downstairs. She busies herself with collecting the instruments she is going to use, as I get ready, minus the thong, according to her instructions.

She leaves for a moment and I get into my submissive position: eyes downcast, on my knees, with my hands on my thighs.

When she returns, she comes to me, "Christian," she says sternly. "Go to the spanking bench."

Once there she puts a metal cock cage on me, then she orders, "Bend over."

I do as told and feel the cuffs being strapped to my ankles first, then my wrists.

I don't see what she is getting to use on me so my anticipation and apprehension are high. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins, hot and rapid.

"Christian, are you ready to begin?" She asks.

"Yes mistress," I respond.

_SMACK_

_SMACK_

"Ahhh…shit!" I scream. She is using a paddle. The cane was thick and round and I the blows hurt but the paddle is different. Being wide, rectangular, and much thinner, it stings when it connects with my bare flesh.

"Did you speak out of turn, Christian?" Elena says coming around to confront me. She grabs the back of my head, fisting my hair and yanking my face up to force me to look at her. "Look at me," she shouts.

_SMACK_

Her palm stings the side of my cheek. I know better than to make any noise yet I could not help it, that damn paddle is burning my ass with the way she yields it!

She resumes her position, stating, "Eight more Christian."

_SMACK_

_SMACK_

_SMACK_

The sobs are wrenched out of my body. It's too much. I swear if the cock cage were anything but metal it would be bent to hell by now and my ass stings so bad, it feels like the skin is shredded.

_SMACK _

_SMACK_

"RED, mistress, RED, RED!" I sob uncontrollably. The pain and pleasure combination is too much for my nerves.

Instantly, the paddle drops to the floor and I feel my limbs being freed. Before I know it, I am on my knees beside the bench sobbing into my hands. My ass _fucking hurts_ and my rock hard cock is straining against the metal encasing it.

"Christian!" Elena gasps.

I sense her coming around to kneel in front of me but I can't move or say anything as I shamefully sob. She takes my head in her hands, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"Christian," she says and I cannot only hear the tenderness in her voice but see it in her eyes too. "We talked about this. You have to trust me and _I_ have to trust _you._ I have to trust that you will safe word if you are near or at your limit, _not_ over it."

I can hear the concern in her voice as I stare at her through wet eyes. She is right. Maybe I pushed myself too far?

"Are you alright?" She asks.

"Y…y…yes," I stammer.

"Christian, you have to be honest with me for this to work. Now, are you alright?" She demands.

"Yes…I…I am okay." I say and it is the truth.

"Baby, I am here to help you but you have to follow the rules." She tells me.

"I know." I say quietly.

Then she chuckles, "That was exhilarating though, damn your ass is glowing and my pussy is soaking."

I smile shyly and she knows that I am okay so she leans back on her heels and says, "Stand up," she says back in Dom mode.

I do and she takes off the cock cage quickly. Then she licks the moisture on the tip of my head before her tongue penetrates my slit. _Oh shit, that feels so good._ My cock twitches at her invading tongue before she envelops me in her mouth, sucking vigorously.

She does not give me time to relax to her rhythm before she lets me go and licks me down to my base. Once there, she uses her hand to stroke cock while she licks my balls and sucks one in her mouth.

_Oh shit, it's over!_

"Ahhh mistress….I'm going to…to…_come_," I growl through gritted teeth at the same time that I squirt once…twice…and finally the rest. I explode so hard that my entire body is trembling and my knees feel like they are going to give out.

"Mmmm…" she moans and licks her lips where some of my cum squirted on the corner of her mouth.

She stands up and takes my hand. Then she leads me to the bed.

"Ly down Christian," She says again more tenderly.

Once I do, I close my eyes to revel in my sated state. Elena takes off her suit coat and climbs up on the bed. She lies on her side near my head and I feel her gently caressing my hair back.

I am sure I look a sight. I am naked, limp, and have tear stained cheeks. At the same time, I feel invigorated. I can already tell that she has done so much to help me in so little time.

"All better, baby?" She asks.

"Mmhm," I respond.

After a few minutes, she gets up to get something. When she comes back I see the object in her hand and look at her questioningly.

"Christian, if a situation feels like it is getting out of control, use this." She holds it up.

"This is a butt plug and you will lubricate it before inserting it. Then you will wear it until you are feeling back in control of yourself. Understand?" She explains.

"Yes," I say but my confused expression is still there.

She goes and gets a smaller one and the lube. She lies down and lubes up her back hole and the plug. Slowly she inserts it, stopping at the wide base. Just watching her and seeing her wet folds makes me hard instantly.

"Now Christian, fuck me." She demands.

"Yes mistress."


	10. Control 10 Increasing Tension

_I scurry to the closet and crouch down hugging my knees after hearing the lock jiggle as the key is turned. He is here. From the slats in the closet door, I can see mommy asleep on the couch. He storms over to her and yanks her awake._

_ "Get up bitch, it's time to work," he yells at mommy._

_ She sits up and blinks a few times but then grabs his shirt, clutching it with the most desperate look in her eyes._

_ "You got something for me baby? I need it, please," my mommy begs._

_ The mean man grabs her arm and they go into the kitchen. I can hear them talking while they are using that strange glass thing. Mommy always needs that before work. It makes work better for her._

_ After they come back from the kitchen to the living room, the mean man opens the door and another man walks in. I feel bad that mommy looks so tired and the new man is touching her, taking her clothes off._

_ She is lying on the floor naked with the man on top of her. It looks like he is hurting her but he isn't. The one time I ran to her, the mean man slapped my face and told me mommy likes it so I know I have to stay right where I am._

_ Mommy's pretty brown hair looks like a blanket on the floor around her head but she keeps pushing it back out of her face. If I could only braid it for her, it would stay out of her face and make her happy._

_ After the man with mommy gets up and leaves, the mean man starts searching around. He's looking for me._

_ "Hey you little brat! Where are you," he yells._

_ I see through the cracks, he is walking to the closet door. It suddenly swings open and he pulls me out by my shirt._

_ "Think you can hide from me you little shit," he yells at me more._

_ I glance at mommy who is asleep again. I don't want to wake her when she is tired so I try to be quiet._

_ "You worthless little shit. Go get me a beer." He tells me._

_ I know that he wants the bottle in the refrigerator with the dark blue paper on it so I get it. _

_ "Now get out of here," he says so I run to the bedroom and sit down on the floor, again hugging my knees._

_ It's been so long since breakfast. When is mommy going to feed me…?_

Noooooo!" I scream, bolting upright in bed. My clothes are dripping in sweat and my body is shaking when my mom and dad come running into my room. The horrified expression on my mom's face tells me that I must look terrible. I can feel my hair all matted and clinging to my head.

My mom rushes to the bed and sits beside me, "Oh baby," she says softly as she soothes me by caressing my hair. She knows that she cannot touch my chest or back and I trust that she won't. She knows I do not like it, though I know that it hurts her to not be able to hold me.

"Christian?" She asks.

I glance at her and my dad standing in front of me. They look worried and again, just like every other night, I am totally embarrassed. They should be use to it by now, hell we all should. This happens every night yet they never get angry with me about it and they never ask me to explain.

Other than the nightmares, the past two weeks have been pretty uneventful, though apparently it was the calm before the storm. _Am I really that naïve to think things would remain like this?_

Elliot picks Mia and I up from school but when we get home he slams the door shut and tosses his bag on the floor. He pounds on the keys of his phone, texting back to someone, but he is frustrated and I think it is due to the fact that he can't text well with a cast on his arm.

"Son of a bitch!" He shouts and heads up to his room. Mia is all excited about her up coming dance recital and is flittering about the house showing me all the moves to her dances. She is exhausting to watch, especially for someone like me who gets little sleep.

When mom gets home she is not in a good mood either and she is on her phone. My dad is working on a big lawsuit that is taking up most of his time. He even stayed at the office one night.

"Carrick…no…you cannot keep doing this…_fine_," she yells into the phone and hangs up abruptly without even saying goodbye. Then she turns her attention to Mia who leaves the TV to start dancing all over again for mom.

If that isn't enough, I got assigned a project in US History with two other people. Neither one is pulling their weight with the project. I will not allow them to ruin my perfect GPA by slacking off. It irritates me to no end that they can be so lazy to not care about their grades.

Then the kid I got in a fight with and his friends have started giving me shit again. They hit my clothes during gym so I was late to my next class and they got into my locker, trashing it.

The weather has cooled considerably and I cannot help but be apprehensive about what Elena and I are going to use as excuses for me to come over, _Elena_, who went to Europe for two weeks with Linc.

That evening at dinner, I found out that Elliot's girlfriend broke up with him. They had only been dating a couple of months but he is really pissed off that she dumped him.

"I can't believe her," Elliot says irritably.

"It's not like you won't have another girl by the weekend," I say with an annoyed tone.

"Oh like you even know what a girl is!" He snaps at me.

"Fuck off, Elliot!" I yell back.

"Christian!" My mom shouts, "You will not speak that way in front of Mia or at this table."

"Fine!" I say and grab my empty plate, heading to the kitchen. Afterwards, I go to the piano and start playing Berloiz: _Symphony Fantastique._ The rush in the song fits my mood at the moment. I play and play as my adrenaline builds within me. Finally, I shove myself up from the piano and head directly to my room.

Once inside, I clench and unclench my fists. As I stare into the mirror all I can think is _the volcano is about to erupt._ Then I remember that Elena gave me the anal toy to use that reminds me to wait…wait until we are in the playroom. Wait until then to vent my rage. _Will it really help?_


	11. Conrtol 11 Friday Surprise

I race over to my closet and take out the shoebox with the toy, lube, and nipple clamps in it. Taking out the anal toy and the lube I quickly undress and do as she told me. I can't even describe the feeling as I insert it.

It is somewhat painful but at the same time, it fills me and my muscles clench around it. Suddenly all the tension in my body is redirected to my ass and my hardening cock. I find my release so quickly that I am dizzy yet, well sated.

_KNOCK, KNOCK_

_"_Christian?" my mom's soft voice comes through the door.

I reluctantly pull out the toy and hide it before pulling on my jeans quickly. Then I unlock my door and see her standing there with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Can we talk?" She asks.

"Fine," I shrug.

She comes in and sits next to me on my bed. She knows me well and suspects that I am going to blow after my outburst at dinner.

"Christian, you seem more upset than you have been the past couple of weeks. I think you need to talk with Dr. Michaels." She says.

_Of course I am, _I want to shout,_ everything is spiraling out of control around here and at school but Dr. Michaels is not what I need. I need Elena._ I can't very well say that to my mom.

"Okay," I tell her. It will make her feel better anyway.

She smiles, "Good, I'll make the appointment." Then she squeezes my hand before leaving my room.

When I come downstairs after texting with a couple friends, I hear her and my dad talking about me so I stand out of sight and listen.

"Carrick, I thought he was doing better. That fight he had was about a month ago and he hasn't blown up like he did tonight. Dr. Michaels must be helping." She says.

"It seems that way." My dad responds. "I think having him go see the therapist is a good idea."

If they only knew that is wasn't the therapist who has helped me, but Elena and her playroom. If that is what they think then I am not going to tell them any different. As long as that appeases them, so be it.

When I get home from school on Friday, relief washes over me as Elliot, Mia, and I enter the house and I hear giggling from the kitchen. Elena. She is sitting with my mom telling her all about her trip. _God she looks wonderful_, I think as I come in to grab a drink.

"Hello Christian," She smiles.

"Elena," I nod.

She has both hands around the coffee mug as she looks at me. Her hair is up in a clip at the back of her head and she is wearing tight jeans that accentuate her long legs. She is wearing a low cut top and boots. I can't help but stare at her black leather boots that go almost to her knees. I would love to see her in just the boots and nothing else. _I am so hard right now!_

"Christian," my mom says. "Elliot has a date and I have to take Mia to a sleep over for her friend's birthday. Then dad and I have a dinner with some of his colleagues so we will be home late.

"Sure, if she has the time," I shrug, though inside I am beaming with excitement.

"I have time, Linc has a business meeting tonight so I am free." She says.

If I could do cartwheels right now I would.

On the way to the therapist's office Elena says, "So how have you been?"

"I've been better," I tell her.

"Well then, it's a good thing that my evening is free." She smiles.

As soon as the door shuts, Dr. Michaels starts in on me. "So what would you like to talk about today?"

"I don't know, " I say.

"You haven't had as many outbursts recently according to your mother until the other night. Why is that?" He asks.

"Just a lot going on," I say.

"Like what?" He asks.

The man is exasperating. I really don not want to sit here and hash out every detail about what is going on in my life.

"I don't know, mom and dad fighting, Elliot got angry, Mia is hyper as ever, and I am surrounded by idiots at school." There, that is the gist of it.

"Did blowing up at Elliot and then playing the piano make you feel better?" He asks.

Of course my mom would have to tell him all that. What can I say? _No, Elena and her toys are what made me feel better._

"I guess so," I say.

"Well it is good to have the piano as an outlet but you need to journal too." He says.

"I want you to write down your feelings when you get to a point where things are getting out of hand." He says. "Then we will meet once a week to talk about it as well as the nightmares."

"I don't want to talk about those," I say firmly.

"Yet we must," he replies.

"I am not discussing the crack-whore!" I shout.

"Why?"

"Because I hate her!" I shout again.

"Why do you hate her, Christian?" He prods.

I run my hands through my hair, I so do not want to discuss this. Did he not hear me?

"Because she was weak, because she gave birth to me, because she left me!" I rant. There are so many reasons why I hate her.

"She was doing the only thing she thought she could do, given her circumstances." He tells me.

"Her _circumstances?_ You mean me! If it wasn't for me she would not have had to go to the pimp and be a whore, having to do drugs to sell herself!" I shout.

"Christian, she made that choice. You were just along for the ride." He explains.

"I am the one who left her no choice!" I shout. _It's my fault, it's all my fault!_

I am shaking and clenching my fists as I yell at Dr. Michaels. It doesn't matter what he says because I know the truth.

"Christian, you cannot continue to blame yourself. Do you think Grace and Carrick blame you for all of their choices they make? No, just like your birth mother, they decide their own paths." He says.

I sigh, "I get it," I say but that is just to appease him. If it hadn't been for me disrupting the crack-whore's life, she would not have had to resort to such a life, a life that I resent her for.

"Our time is up but I want you to journal and write a list of 5 of your own positive attributes. We will discuss them next week." He says standing up.

_Great, homework from the therapist is just what I don't need._

After the reminder that I am a bad kid, the one who caused everything in my early childhood, I am seething with self-hatred.

When my angry glare meets Elena's in the waiting room, I can tell by her expression that she knows. She knows that I am ready to unleash the demon inside.

"Let's get going," she says and we all but run to the car.


	12. Control 12 Elena's Therapy

When we get to Elena's house she pulls the car into the garage. I am already a bundle of nerves anticipating what is going to happen in her playroom. After me session with the therapist, I am once again feeling the weight of what my existence made the crack-whore do.

She didn't take another path when she had me. No, she sold herself to men and made her pimp money while I had to stand by and watch. Then to have to do drugs just to get through her Johns. How pathetic is that?  
Elena's hand is soft as she takes mine and leads me into the house. She palms my cheek and says, "I'll help you feel better. You won't have to think about anything, just let me take control and in turn, help you to gain it. Okay?"

"Yeah," I respond.

"Good," she smiles. "Now, you go downstairs and I will be down soon. Unless you don't want to just yet?"

"No, I want to." I tell her firmly.

"Okay, see you in a few minutes."

She walks in and I do not hear the same sound of her high-heels as she comes to stand in front of me. Instead, all I see is black leather. THE BOOTS, she wore the boots for me.

She reaches behind above me and pushes a couple of buttons on the wall. Suddenly, the room is engulfed in a calm wave of music. It sounds like something out of a Chinese movie.

"Stand up," she demands.

She blindfolds me first and then attaches a collar around my neck. Using a leash, she leads me around the room until we stop and I feel her cuffing my wrists above my head. Then she cuffs my ankles using a bar that keeps my legs spread apart.

Suddenly she is gone. I don't hear her, only the music. I cannot feel her either. _What is she doing? Did she leave the room?_

I start to feel something soft and feathery over my back. _Don't touch me, please don't touch me._ I pull at my restraints, nervous now. She knows that she cannot touch, that only objects can touch my back and chest, which is what I feel now. It is a soft feather sliding up and down my back, then over my behind.

_Oh please, it's too gentle, too slow._

She moves around to my front and trails the tip of the feather over my nipples and across my stomach. I am shivering and everywhere the feather touches, makes my skin crawl. Elena continues to slide it down between my legs and my thighs. _Oh Shit! It tingles and makes me so tense._ I hear the clank of the chains as I jerk my arms, wanting desperately to be free.

"Christian," Elena says.

"Yes mistress," I respond.

"You _will _control yourself and not come until I say so, understand?" Her voice is demanding and stern.

"Yes mistress," I say wondering why she is being so gentle.

The tip of the feather continues to just brush my skin of my chest, stomach, and thighs lightly.

_Smack_

"Ugh…" I groan.

She suddenly brought the flogger up between my legs, smacking my balls. It didn't hut but it startled me.

"How did that feel, Christian?" She asks.

"Good, mistress," I say barely finding my voice.

She continues by alternating with the feather and the flogger over every inch of skin on my body, from my neck to my toes. First light touches, then the hard leather. She doesn't use the flogger hard enough to hurt me just to change the intensity of what I am feeling. The anticipation builds slowly since she is not using a pattern, just randomly switching so I never know which I will feel next.

The muscles in my arms and legs are strained and I am clutching the chains above my wrists. I am just as hard as any other time but with the blindfold and the fear of the unknown, it is difficult to control the building sensations igniting in the pit of my stomach.

Amazingly, it relaxes me to know that I am at her mercy. My senses are heightened by the feel of the leather cuffs and the collar along with the touches of the feather and flogger.

She stops abruptly and uncuffs me. She leads me by the collar until I feel her sit on the bed.

"Kneel," she orders and I comply.

At first, when I came out of the therapist's office, I had wanted her to beat me senseless but taking things slow and steady is so erotic and it makes me have to stay calm and in control even more. _This is so hard to do!_

I feel her hand on my head, pulling me in between her legs. I instinctively put my hands on her thighs. I can smell her but I can't see her.

"Lick me Christian, right here." She says pressing a finger to her clit, guiding my mouth and tongue. "Flick your tongue over it, slow and fast."

I can immediately taste her on my tongue as I lick her, on my knees, while she holds the leash securely. _Fuck I'm dripping wet._ Her body is slowly writhing and I hear her moan.

"Yes, baby…oh yes…" She moans softly.

The more reaction I get from her, the more I concentrate. Now I am licking her clit and sucking on it like a starved man, I can't get enough.

"Finger me Christian. Put three fingers all the way in and push up with the tips." She says and then uses one hand to guide mine.

As I do it, she moans louder. I can feel her muscles clenching around my fingers and she is getting wetter. _Fuck, I am not going to make it! I want to come so bad and I cannot force the feeling to go away._

"Elena," I breathe against her wet center.

"Don't come, Christian!" She says harshly, yet breathless.

I flick her clit fast and start moving my fingers in and out of her, learning and sensing every movement of her body to know that I am pleasuring her. As I feel her walls clench around my fingers and her back arch, I can't help it but reach down and pump my throbbing cock.

I am mindless as she screams out, "Oh baby, fuck me…._yes_…" her thighs tighten and I can taste her juices as her body spasms.

I suddenly tense, my balls tighten, and I grunt against her folds as I come with such intensity that my body shakes uncontrollably.

After she relaxes her body and her hold on my leash, I lean back on me heels to catch my breath.

"Christian," she says angrily. "You were not given permission to come. You lost control of yourself."

She leans up and yanks the blindfold off of me and I can't meet her eyes so I keep them downcast but she can see the result smeared over my hand.

"I…I'm sorry…mistress," I say quietly.

Elena smacks my cheek hard and says, "Go to the bench. You will be punished for losing control like that."

After bending over the bench, I expect her to cuff me but she doesn't. _That is strange she always cuffs me._

_ SMACK_

_Fuck, she is using the paddle and holding nothing back._ I flinch.

"Don't fucking move!" She yells. Now I know why she didn't cuff me. It's all about control.

_ SMACK_

_ SMACK_

"Count Christian!" She yells.

_ SMACK _

"Four," I choke out, flinching again.

_SMACK_

"Five," I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks yet my cock is getting hard again.

_ SMACK_

"Six," I cry out and I can't help but try to straighten up.

Suddenly she stops and says, "Look at me."

I stand up and turn to her, meeting her gaze shamefully.

"You did well but you are not allowed to come until I see you again, is that clear?"

"Yes mistress," I say catching my breath, knowing that will be difficult since I am rock hard right now.

"Good. Now then, I will meet you upstairs and we can have a snack before I take you home. Get dressed."

With that said, she leaves me alone in the room.

**Please, please let me know what you think. I am having fun writing this so continue to enjoy.**


	13. Control 13 Reminicing

I can't help my surprise that school is almost out for the summer already. It was like winter and spring flew by unnoticed. Though my thoughts were centered on my sessions with Elena. The times that we had to wait two weeks rather than one was difficult but once in the playroom it was well worth the wait.

Yesterday had been absolutely wonderful. I glance in the mirror at myself, at my red welts form the cane, as I pull on a t-shirt so I can go to a party tonight with the guys.

Elena, if it hadn't been for her where would I be now? I know where I would be, I thought, as I glanced at the trash can.

Since it was a Saturday that we were all home, mom had us clean out our closets. On the floor near the back of mine was a slip of paper with Kyle Pelkey's phone number.

I knew him from my previous school. One day I approached him knowing full well that he was a dealer. Up to that point, I only took over the counter pills to stay awake and keep the nightmares at bay, but was seriously considering stronger drugs. It was only a week after getting his number that I got expelled and changed schools.

I get shivers through out my body thinking of how close I was to actually buying drugs off of him. Had I gone that route, who knows where I would be right now?

At the same time, I was starting to frequent more parties and getting comfortable drinking. The drinking helped me to just forget everything, to relax.

If Elena hadn't come into the picture and smacked me, then kissed me that day my life would be drastically different now, I am sure of it.

I get ready to go so I can be downstairs when Mikey comes to pick me up. I can hear voices so I stop half way down the stairs to listen.

"I am so proud of Christian," my mom says.

"I am too," my dad replies.

"He has done well with his therapy and seems to really be getting a handle on himself. He hasn't had any outbursts for months." My mom says.

"I know. I think he is finally learning to control his emotions." Dad replies.

I smirk, if they only knew the real reason behind my progress they might not be as accepting. Yet hearing them sound so relieved and happy just confirms that I am doing the right thing, even if it would not seem right to them. Elena has helped me so much and I have come so far in just eight months. All I need is what she gives me.

At the party, Jake comes up to me and says, "Hey, Chris, you know Beth Morgan?"

"Yeah, we have a couple of classes together," I reply.

"Well, rumor has it that she has it hot for you." Jake tells me.

I shrug, "Okay?"

"What do you mean _okay_?" he asks dumbfounded. "That chick is hot. You should ask her out. She would totally say yes, dude."

"Yeah, well, I'm not that interested in her." I explain.

"Dude, then who are you interested in? You never go out with anyone." He reminds me.

What can I say? I can't tell him about Elena. I can't tell him that I am sure Beth doesn't beat her boyfriends and have rough sex with them. I need someone who knows how to have a relationship, not just hold hands and go to movies, but a _real_ relationship.

That is what Elena and I have. Due to our situation we don't have to mess around with the unnecessary garbage we can go straight to the playroom and do our thing. I can't go out with someone who does not understand what I need and want in a relationship. It wouldn't work out.

"Hey dude, there she is," Jake points out to me.

Across the patio is a group of five girls. Beth is among them and they have glanced over here in our direction a couple of times.

She is hot, I'll give her that but in a naïve and young sort of way. She is definitely not the sophisticated and experienced woman that Elena is. She has style and poise. No high school girl can even compare.

"Look Jake, I don't have time right now to date anyone," I lie. "My family has a lot going on and I just want to hang with my friends and have fun for now. I can get a girl anytime."

Which is true. I have heard through out the year that several girls in school want to go out with me so I know I would have no trouble at all if I wanted a girlfriend, except that Elena would kick my ass if I ended things with her. Why would I even want to? No one can give me what she can, what I need.

We continue to drink and I get a little light headed later into the night. That is when Beth comes up to me and starts flirting with me.

"Hi Christian," she says.

"Hi," I reply.

"So how have you been?" She asks, flipping her long brown hair back off her shoulder.

"Is that bothering you?" I ask in regards to her hair.

"Well, it is quite long." She replies giggling.

I stand and motion for her to take my seat, "Sit," I say a bit too sternly.

She gives me a confused look with regards to my abrupt order. I am just as confused. But she sits anyway and I take her long hair into my hands.

First I use my fingers as a comb and run them through it slowly. She relaxes under my touch and bends her head back toward me.

"Do you have a hair tie?" I ask.

"Sure," she says handing it to me from around her wrist.

Then I begin. First I take my time parting her brown locks into three large groups starting at the front of her head.

Then, I weave my hands down through her hair, one section over the other, again and again, until I reach the bottom. Once I have the tie in place, she reaches back to check my work.

"Thanks," she smiles.

Even through my cloudy beer soaked mind, I have an impeccable urge to yank on her braid. I resist but I have to close my eyes and take deep breaths.

I don't know why I even braided her hair in the first place. Why, when I asked her to sit, did I sound so demanding rather than friendly?

"Wow Christian, I didn't know guys knew how to braid hair." She says.

I shrug, "I have a sister," I say.

Beth has no idea that I have never braided Mia's hair, not once. I can still feel the softness of Beth's brown hair on my fingertips. I am confused by my actions and suddenly feel apprehensive. I don't want to chat with Beth, I want to smack her, then kiss her like Elena did to me in the beginning.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ I suddenly see myself looking down at her where she sits. I have this overwhelming compulsion to yank her to her knees by her braid and have her green eyes stare back at me, full of vulnerability.

"Well, I gotta go," I say quickly and head around the house where it is dark. _Damn, I am hard as a rock. What is going on?_


	14. Control 14 Elena's POV

**Elena's POV**

_This is so exhilarating and hot,_ I think to myself as I smack Christian's ass again with the riding crop. Seeing his ass turn a bright shade of pink is so sexy. Even more so are his responses. His cock gets hard and he stifles his groans of pleasure as best he can since he knows that I will punish him if he speaks.

"Do you want another one?" I ask sternly.

"Yes mistress, please," he begs.

I hold nothing back when I smack him again with the crop. He likes it rough and so do I. Here in my playroom, I am the one with the power to control his pain and his pleasure.

Only I have this kind of power over him, the power to beat and love him. Christian is mine and only mine. No one can satisfy him like I can.

Dominating him like this makes me so wet that by the time I am done, my clit is throbbing and I am dripping in anticipation for what will come next and that is whatever I choose. It's my decision.

"Christian stand up," I tell him and take his hand to lead him to the bed.

Once there, I demand, "On your knees."

He is quick to respond, "Yes mistress," and sinks to his knees immediately.

He will pleasure me. This part is for me and only me. I know that Christian will do exactly as I have taught him over these past few months. He will forever know where, when, and how hard or soft to touch a woman. _I taught him that! _

I fist my fingers through his hair as his mouth devours my clit. He flicks his tongue over it softly at first and then harder, faster. At the same time, he teases my nipples with his fingers.

"Yes, just like I taught you, baby," I praise him.

His fingers slide through my wet folds as he fills me and presses the tips toward my front. All the while sucking on my clit. I can't help but arch beneath his touch. _Oh, it feels so good._

His fingers start to move at just the right time, fucking me hard and fast. My orgasm is quickly building after such an intense beating session. He let me hit him several times with the crop, begging _me_ to do it harder, to do more.

"Yes….I'm going to…come…" I pant, "Christian….taste me…"

I squirt around his fingers and he licks my folds. His mouth is so hot and I hear him groan. He wants to come so badly but only _I _can allow him to do that. That knowledge alone sends me spiraling over the edge; my body shudders while my muscles clench his fingers.

"You can come now Christian," I tell him and he quickly positions himself at the edge of the bed where I am at and thrusts into me. He starts slow and nibbles on my taut nipples while his hands are at my hips.

"Fill me Christian, come for me," I moan as his thrusts speed up and my body once again builds to a climax.

"Oh mistress….fuck…" he groans as his body tenses and I feel him explode inside me.

"Yes baby, that's it, come in me," I moan as I also find my release, my second release that is.

Being able to dominate him is like a drug and I am an addict. Christian lets me feed off of his pain, his pleasure. Though he believes we are doing all of this to help him redirect his emotions and learn to control himself, I do have an ulterior motive. He doesn't know it but he helps me too. He loves me and I love him. We relish in what the other has to give with in the playroom.

I sit alone waiting for Linc to come home. All I have are my memories of the playroom to get me though the next week. Linc is hard to deal with and I dread this time of day.

Linc is in control, whether it is in the playroom or not, he is the one in charge. I do not argue with him and I definitely do not defy him. If I did, I would be punished as he sees fit.

Even the servants are afraid of him. The cook must make sure that everything in the pantry is straight and lines up perfectly to his satisfaction. It is like he took notes watching the movie Sleeping With the Enemy and then became a worse monster than Julia Roberts' husband in that movie.

When Linc gets angry with me in front of the servants, I can feel their pitying glances, knowing what he will do to me. The time the gardeners did not cut the bushes lining the driveway the way Linc expected them to be done, he came home angry.

**Flashback**

"Elena!" Linc snapped.

"Yes dear," I say coming into the foyer, smiling.

Linc strides up to me, grabs my arm brutally, and drags me outside. He is livid with a clenched jaw and hatred in his eyes.

"What the hell is this?" He says motioning to the landscape.

"I….I am sorry…I" I stammer but he has already spun around and tosses me inside the house slamming the door behind him.

He backhands me so hard that I fly sprawling across the foyer. It feels like my cheek exploded. I will have to wait two weeks now to see Christian until the bruising goes away.

"What the fuck do I have you here for if you cannot even keep an eye on the gardeners? What the fuck do you do all day?" Linc rants.

"I am sorry," I say, my voice shaky. "I neglected my duties. It won't happen again."

"You are right, it won't!" he snaps.

I know why I didn't see what the gardeners were doing. I was down in the playroom with Christian and lost track of time. By the time we were done, they were gone.

**End of Flashback**

Every morning Linc picks out my clothes down to every last detail. He chooses my dress, shoes, jewelry, purse, even my undergarments. If we have to go out in the evening I am expected to go to the spa, have my hair, make up, and nails done that day and be in whatever he picked out by the time he arrives to get me. If I am not ready, I get punished.

He thinks he is a God in the playroom, wearing his black leather pants and making me wear a pink baby doll dress that ties just below my breasts so that they are fully exposed along with the matching thong.

He not only loves to beat me and have sex with me but I think he gets off more by the way he talks to me. He likes to humiliate me. I am tired of being his _bitch_ and his _dirty little whore_. Belittling me is a turn on for him.

I would never degrade Christian like that, especially since he is learning what a woman _likes_ having done to her. Linc doesn't care what I like or what feels good to me, as long as he gets off it doesn't matter.

Sometimes I wonder how I ever put up with him?

**Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all my readers and reviewers. I am having fun with this story and glad you are enjoying it. Please let me know what you think and if there is anything specific you would like to have happen. I know some of you want Christian to dominate but as the story goes, he never did with her so anything else is up for suggestion.**

** So you think Christian should try to hook up with a girl other than Elena?**

** What do you suppose would happen?**


	15. Control 15 Aspen

Once again, my idiot brother barges into my room without knocking to catch me shirtless. Great, just what I need right now, Elliot's mouth. Knowing him, there is no way of getting out of this conversation easily.

Elliot shuts Christian's door quietly, locking it. Then he turns to his brother, "What the hell, dude?

"We talked about this before," I remind him.

"But look at you." He waves a hand at me.

I know very well what I look like. Elena had used the cane on me again so my back, ass, chest, and stomach are covered in thick red welts, though they are fading. I guess now that it is summer we will have to lay off the cane. Otherwise my family will wonder why I cannot go swimming. It's fortunate for me that we are going to Colorado skiing for two weeks rather than to the beach.

"Elliot," I say, my tone stern, "We are not discussing this."

Elliot goes over to my bed and sits down. For a few minutes he just sits there looking at me with a hurt expression. I know he is concerned but what can I say to appease him? I cannot tell him about Elena.

I take a deep breath, "I told you before that I am fine. This is something that helps me. I cannot explain it to you anymore than that."

"You know that if you need anything, dude, I am here right?" Elliot tells me sincerely.

"Of course. But I can handle _this."_

Elliot nods his acceptance and gets up. He doesn't say anything as he leaves but he is definitely concerned for my wellbeing and I would expect nothing less from him. Even though most of the time he acts like a jackass.

We leave in a few hours for the flight to Aspen. For two weeks I will not see Elena. Can I handle that? I have went that long before but I was able to get away from the family, play the piano, and even use the toys that Elena gave me. None of that will be with me on our family vacation.

By the time we arrived at the condo, everyone was tired. Even though it was only a few hours on the plane, Mia had gotten bored and would not sit still. Elliot was being annoying, as usual, and my parents were stressed from all the travel arrangements.

Unfortunately, my mom helped me unpack once we arrived as she did with all of us kids.

"Here Christian, let me help." She smiles.

"Really mom, I got it," I say but she has already gone to my suitcase and is picking clothes out of it.

That was when the _NoDoz_ over the counter pillbox fell out onto the floor. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop onto the carpet at that point.

I immediately glanced at my mom to see her reaction to the discovery of the pills. Her eyes are wide and her mouth hung open. I guess doctors aren't all that accepting of these types of medications that are available everywhere.

"Christian," She whispers, "Are those what I think they are?"

"Mom," I jump in quickly to explain but am cut off.

"Why are you taking those?" She suddenly demands as anger radiates from her eyes, searing me clear to my core.

"Mom, I….the nightmares…." I am so tongue twisted and nervous underneath her scrutinizing glare.

"So you are taking those to stay awake to prevent the nightmares from coming?"

"Yeah," I reply softly.

"Christian! You should have said something." She shouts at me.

"Mom!" I shout back, "What do you want me to say?"

Then I turn away from her, too embarrassed and ashamed to look at her. I know she is disappointed in me right now and that look breaks my heart. I let her down.

"Christian," her tone is quiet, calm. "I know that the nightmares are a problem for you but these," she waves the pills in front of me, "are not a solution." Then she straightens her stance and looks at me, "I'm sorry but these are forbidden from here on out."

_No, no, no, no, no! I need them!_

"Mom, please," I say.

She shakes her head, "No, no more."

She leaves the room, leaving me standing there alone, I know she is going straight to my dad to tell him what she found but that is the least of my worries. How am I going to get through the night without those pills?

I cannot stop the feeling rising inside of me. It's a mixture of despair, anger, and fear. I suddenly feel helpless against the nightmares of my past that haunt me every single night. I slam my hand into the wall, cracking the drywall before I even register what I am doing. Again I hit the wall and I keep hitting it until I feel hands grab my arms tightly, immobilizing them.

I am numb, completely numb and though I can hear voices, they sound distant. I feel like I am in a tunnel and my family is at the other end.

"Elliot!" I hear my mom shout, "Take Mia down to the play area."

"Sure mom," he replies.

I can hear Mia's muffled cries fade as she is taken from the room. I have my eyes squeezed shut and I am breathing rapidly. When I open my eyes, my dad is in front of me, holding my wrists. It is such a strange feeling to _not feel_ his hands touching me. I can also feel that my mouth is hanging open and I imagine I look thoroughly shocked.

My dad's penetrating gaze freezes me in place. We have done this before and I know he is waiting until I catch my breath and relax before we go any further.

"Son, let's get you over to the bed," he says faintly, at least to me it is.

I blink several times and slowly nod my head.

I allow him to lead me over to the bed where my mom has already gathered wet towels. I lay down taking a moment to try to compose myself. At the same time, my mom is cleaning the blood from my knuckles. My hands are not broken but I split the skin over my knuckles.

Once my mom is finished, she sits beside me and cups my face with her palm, "Christian," She says softly, her voice cracking. I can see the tears in her eyes. "Speak to me, Christian, please."

There is nothing she needs more than to have my reassurance that I am okay. My silence scares her because I didn't speak when we first met. How can I be such a horrible kid, so cruel to put them through this over and over again? Even in times like these, they are the most loving parents.

"I….I….I think I….am okay…." I stutter as the numbness begins to subside and my mind becomes clearer.

**Once again, let me know what you think. This story is a mixture of being difficult and fun. I am surprised that there are not more stories of Christian and Elena's time together. If there are, I haven't found them yet. Thank you to all who have favored and taken the time to read this. I write to give others entertainment so I hope I am doing that for each and every one of you.**


	16. Control 16 Aspen 2

**When I started this story, I intended to keep to the original story line, keeping 3 points in mind: 1. Christian sees Elena exclusively for 6 years, 2. Christian has no relationships with girls during that time, 3. No one knew about he and Elena.**

**After reading reviews, I thought, what is fanfiction for if not to take the established characters and make them your own by taking them down a different path.**

**So that is what I am going to do though now it will not follow the original. Happy reading, I hope you enjoy the new twists and turns to come.**

As a family, we go to the John Denver Park, hiking, shopping, and to some of the outdoor concerts. Dad likes to take Elliot and I paragliding and fly-fishing while mom and Mia do their thing. However, mom and dad always take a day at the spa for massages and, of course, mom gets her manicure, pedicure, and facial while dad returns to us.

While dad gets his massage, Elliot and I sit at a table just outside of the fenced in jungle gym that is in the lobby of the building while Mia plays with other kids inside.

The interior of the lobby is a log cabin with a seating area near the fireplace, the jungle gym play area and the pool off to one side. In the summer, it is much less crowded than winter when all the snow bunnies are here and loads of people hanging around with their ski gear.

As Elliot and I sit drinking our sodas, I can feel his eyes on me. I try to focus on Mia but his staring is beginning to irritate me.

"Ok, what?" I ask.

"Huh?" Elliot responds surprised.

I turn to look at him, "What? You keep staring at me so what is it you want to say?"

His expression turns to worry, "Listen bro, I know you don't want to talk about this but I am really concerned for you."

"Don't go there, Elliot," I warn.

"Christian, come on, I know you said that you could handle whatever it is you are into but I'm not convinced."

"Elliot, I cannot explain it. Just back off. Nothing bad is going to happen to me, trust me, I know what I'm doing."

"Bro, someone beat you!" He says a bit too loud and glances around to make sure no one heard him.

"Yeah," I reply tight lipped, "And I asked them to so back the fuck off."

I can feel the anger at his prying washing over me. _Control yourself Christian! He is just trying to wrap his head around what he saw, the black and blue marks covering your body._ I look at them enough to know that they do look exceptionally bad at first but it still is none of his business.

Luckily, the girl from the snack counter who has been eyeing Elliot all morning takes that moment to come over and ask us if we want another soda. Elliot ends up going back to the counter with her. When he comes back with our drinks, he has a huge grin on his face.

"So?" I ask.

"We are meeting up when she gets off work, _score_."

I shake my head, leave it to Elliot to find a girl to hook up with everywhere we go.

"Look bro," he starts again, "Just know that I love you and if you need me I am here."

"Sure," I say with more sarcasm than I should have.

"Really, you are my little brother. I know you would be concerned for me if our positions were reversed."

_He does have a point, Christian._

"I get it, I love you too." I say and turn my attention back to watching Mia, effectively ending that conversation.

"_You little shit, where are you?" I cannot let him see me. Mommy, help me. Don't let him find me. He is coming this way toward the closet. I have to crouch down and maybe he won't see me. I promise I will stay right here while mommy works and won't bother her. When mommy's men see me and get mad then the bad man punishes me but I haven't done that so why is he looking for me?_

_ He swings the closet door open and grabs my arm, yanking me out of the closet with one swift jerk. Then he tosses me through the kitchen doorway, "Get me a beer." _

_ He wakes mommy and sits down. I take his beer to him and he snatches it out of my hand, then says, "Get lost." I quickly hurry off to the bedroom and sit in the corner. I can stay here while mommy's men are not here. While they are here, I hide in the living room closet. _

**Flashback changes**

_Mommy, mommy, wake up mommy. I am hungry. I am so hungry. Please mommy. Please help me, my tummy hurts, it hurts so bad!_

I open my eyes as the same time that my mom and dad rush to my side. I don't remember yelling out but I must have for them to come running. Most of the time I don't hear myself scream but they always do.

"Christian," my mom says in a panicked tone. "You are safe. We are here."

Mom comes to the bed and takes my hand into hers while dad does the same to the other one. It takes me a few minutes to clear my head and to slow my breathing. I feel cold from sweating through my t-shirt and pajama bottoms.

"Son, talk to us," My dad asks.

"I….I am ok now," I tell them cautiously.

"Why don't you take a hot shower," dad says, "You will feel better and then maybe you can get some sleep."

"Ok," I respond, but then I lash out, "I wouldn't have this problem if I had my pills!"

"Christian!" My dad says sternly.

I glare at him and then at my mom. Their expressions tear at my heart. They both look so hurt by what I said. _Damn, I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. See mom and dad, I am a bad kid! I continue to disappoint you._

As I lie in bed, freshly showered, I my thoughts drift to Elena. I cannot wait to see her. We are meeting up the day after I get back from Aspen. I _soooo _need to see her. Soon, we will be home soon and I am ready.

**Sorry it is a short chapter but with flying half way around the world, having my mom in ICU, and my dad having surgery all in the past 5 days it has been busy. Bear with me and I will do my best to get back on track.**


	17. Control 17 Consequences of Aspen

We got home from Aspen on Friday evening because mom has to be at the hospital for the weekend shift. That leaves dad to run Mia to dance practice on Saturday morning. After dance, he takes her out to lunch before coming home.

LINC HAS A GOLF OUTING TODAY-ELENA

WHAT TIME-ME

HE TEES OFF AT 9AM SO HE WILL BE GONE MOST OF THE DAY-ELENA

I'LL BE OVER AT 10?-ME

PERFECT I WANT TO SEE YOU-ELENA

I NEED TO SEE YOU TOO!-ME

As I was heading out, Elliot was in the living room texting and glanced up when he heard me. Usually, I have a friend who drives pick me up or Elliot takes me where I need to go. I only have one more week until my birthday and I get my driver's license. I can't wait. Then I can go where I want without question. The dilemma though will always be that my car cannot be at Elena's so walking is my only option there.

"Hey bro, where are you off to?" Elliot says.

"Oh, you know, got some stuff to do." I respond.

That is when Elliot gives me a curious look, like he is trying to telepathically find out what I am not saying. Without someone picking me up I am obviously not going far. Though I hate it, I lie to him just like I have now for the past eight months.

"Like what? Want a ride?"

"No, just running down to the Lincoln's house to help Elena move some furniture."

"Oh ok, see ya, bro."

Thankfully that was quick and painless. Ever since Elliot saw my bruises the first time, he has been prying little by little as to whom I am with and where I go. My only saving grace is that he is also so consumed with his _flavor of the month_ and partying with his football buddies to really dig deep into my life.

I get to the Lincoln's house and Elena is sitting at the table on the patio out back. God she never ceases to amaze me! She looks radiant. She has her hair all pulled up, make up on, and a short pink, orange, and white dress on. The colors stand out against her bronze tan. I especially like her pink stilettos!

"Hi," She says.

"Hi," I respond feeling awkwardly out of place near her, which is not unusual.

We are so compatible in the playroom, but outside, we are as different as night and day. I am in a t-shirt and Bermuda shorts with flip flops.

Immediately, I avert my eyes to the ground out of instinct and I hear her chuckle. Then she motions for me to sit and hands me a drink.

"Here, try this." She says.

I am not fond of coffee but since _she _gave it to me, I will drink every last drop to make her happy. It is subtle but I can tell that she put something in the coffee. Apparently, my expression gave me away because she laughs.

"It's just a little Kahlua. It will take the edge off." She explains, then her voice changes into Dom mode, "I spoke with Grace and you have been a _very naughty boy_."

I gulp down the mug of coffee and say, "Yes."

She gets up, comes over to my chair, takes my head in her hands and forces my gaze to hers, "What am I going to do with you?"

Holding her smoldering gaze with my own wanton one I respond with my voice cracking, "Punish me mistress."

"That's a good boy," she says and steps back. "Go get ready."

I nearly jump from my chair and run into the house, down to the playroom, and strip so fast the button on my shorts pops off completely. Oh well.

My body is trembling as I kneel in position….waiting. The anticipation of what she is going to do to me always riles me up. I am hard already.

She saunters in and comes to stand in front of me.

"Look at me Christian."

I pause and then look up to meet her eyes.

_SMACK_

My cheek stings from the blow. I hesitated and that is _not_ acceptable.

"Look at me when I tell you to, not three seconds later, understand?" She demands.

"Yes mistress, I'm sorry."

While I am still on my knees she puts a leather collar around my neck and attaches a leash. Then she yanks on it to get me to my feet. She leads me to the center of the room and attaches the collar ring to a chain dangling from the ceiling. Then Elena's heels click on the wood floor as I hear her getting something behind me.

Once my hands are cuffed behind my back, my ankles are cuffed to the spreader bar, and my head tilted up slightly due to the chain attached to the collar, she blindfolds me.

"You have been a bad boy, Christian." She says sternly.

_WHACK_

The leather straps of the flogger sting my ass. I wish she could use the cane but it's summer so I cannot have bruises. That would be hard to explain when we go swimming.

_WHACK_

_WHACK_

_WHACK_

Over and over the flogger hits me, on my chest, my back, my ass, and my thighs.

"You like it don't you, Christian? You like it when I hit you?" she demands.

"Yes mistress, _please_," I beg and she knows what I want.

She flicks the flogger as she brings it up between my legs and smacks my balls with it.

"_Shit!" _I growl.

"Silence!" she yells and smacks my face for talking.

She takes her time flogging me, pausing and constantly changing where the leather connects with my skin so I don't know where she will hit me next.

I am so hard and I can feel the damp spot on the thong.

"Don't come Christian, or I will have to punish you more." She says.

She releases the collar chain and my ankles to lead me to the bed.

"Sit on the bed," She demands.

"Now, this is for my pleasure, not yours so you _will not_ come. Do you understand?"

"Yes mistress."

She gets down on her knees between my legs and starts stroking me rhythmically before swallowing me in her mouth. _Oh fuck, she is so good. _

"Please mistress, I want to watch," I beg breathlessly as he tongue swirls around my tip and over the slit of my cock. With one hand she reaches up and pulls the fabric down quickly.

She looks so sexy, fucking her mouth with my cock. Her mouth is open so wide, like my cock is too big for her._ Yes, take it, suck it._

She glances at me while bobbing her head. My stomach tightens, _yes look up at me while you fuck your mouth with my thick cock._ I push my hips towards her, gagging her.

Then she stops and moves to my balls. Her tongue licks over and around them before she takes one into her mouth, sucking on it. She does the same to the other.

"Mistress, I….I can't…."

"Don't you dare come, Christian!" She yells and immediately stops her assault.

_Damn it! I was right there and she stopped. My cock is throbbing so bad it hurts._

"Lay back, I am going to fucking ride you hard," She says and climbs on top of me.

She grabs a bar above her to hold on to for leverage so she does not inadvertently touch my body. She knows that is a hard limit for me.

She is soaking wet when she lowers herself onto me wasting no time impaling herself on my cock over and over, faster and harder each time. With my hands still restrained I cannot touch her, grab her and move her the way I want.

"Oh baby," she breathes, "you fill me up."

I am panting and grinding my teeth to keep from groaning out the pleasure I feel. She is so tight and hot, wrapped around me.

"Yes baby…._oh yes_," She moans, slamming her body against mine.

I feel her muscles clench, she is about to come but so am I.

"Don't…._hah_…_.hah_….come!"

"Mistress, please…._please_ let me come," I whimper.

Sweat glistening both our bodies, moving in rhythm, and Elena taking my cock as deep as she can while we struggle to breathe making the sensations build higher….higher….higher….

Elena's muscles convulse around me, "Oh baby….fuck!" She screams.

_Oh shit, I can't hold it!_

Elena jumps off of me so quickly that I don't have time to register it in my mind and my body tenses, ready to squirt my seed With every last bit of control I can muster I hold off.

"Now, Christian, come for me."

I let go and look down, her head is between my legs, her tongue out, lapping up the liquid pulsing out of me.

_Damn she looks absolutely gorgeous with my cum scattered across her mouth and chin, holy fuck!_

"Good boy," she smiles, "you waited."

She pulls me up to a sitting position again and kisses me hard. I can taste myself on her lips, her tongue. _Mmmm….we taste so good together._ That was some mind-blowing sex!

**Thanks for the well wishes and reviews. Knowing there is an audience helps to motivate a writer. With out you, I would have no reason to write. I appreciate you taking the time.**


	18. Control 18 Caught

I slip into our routine of making Elena some tea while I grab a soda and then we meet on the patio at the table. I take a deep breath watching her saunter over to me. The sway of her hips and confident stride makes her a force to be reckoned with.

Elena comes up behind me where I sit and takes my head, tipping it back to look up at her. Her eyes sparkle and I know that she is happy with our session today.

"Christian," she says, "I want to do something."

"Ok?" I say curiously.

"Stand up and face the table."

As soon as I do, she reaches around in front of me and unzips my shorts. She pulls them and my boxer briefs down just enough to bare my ass but keep my legs restrained within the confines of the fabric.

"Bend over the table, cheek against the glass."

I do as I am told and glance back at her to see her holding a large square hairbrush in her hand. _Oh hell yes!_

Her garden is surrounded by a tall wood fence and numerous bushes and trees so no one can see in. Here we are outside her house with me sprawled out over the very table that I have sat with my parents at, eating a meal with Elena and Linc. I am instantly excited.

"I don't think you got enough downstairs. Count Christian."

_SMACK_

"One," Shit, the brush stings like the paddle against my flesh.

_SMACK_

_ "_Two!"

_SMACK_

_ "_Three," I scream.

_SMACK_

"Four," My eyes are welling up with tears I can't hold back.

_SMACK_

"Five," I choke out.

"Good boy, Christian. Do you want more?"

"Yes, oh God, yes, mistress."

"Oh Christian, no. Out here, right now we are just you and I. No Dom and no sub. Now, how many?" Elena asks.

"Another one."

_SMACK_

"Another one, Elena please, harder."

_SMACK_

"One more…._please_," I sob.

_SMACK_

She holds nothing back on the last one._ Damn it fucking hurt! My ass is on fire._

She massages the burning skin with her hands after putting some cream on them. It takes the sting out otherwise I would not be able to sit for a week.

After fixing my clothes, we take our seats again but she reaches over and kisses me urgently, full of passion and desire.

After wiping my tears away, she smiles. Then she gets up and takes her teacup in her hand.

"Today was good. I cannot wait until next time."

"Me either," is the only response I can make, still catching my breath.

I leave out the back gate and head for home, wincing a little as I walk. I am oblivious to the world around me as I make my way home, reveling in the lingering memories of today.

Just as I open the side gate to our back yard, I hear "Christian!" I spin around to see Elliot stopped just a few feet from me with a livid expression on his face.

"Where did you…" _Oh shit! He followed me. Did he see anything? He couldn't have because Elena has a six-foot fence and a jungle lining it._ I spin back around and make a run for it. Half way across the yard toward the house, my body slams to the ground.

"Oomphf."

I am taken down football tackle style, Elliot's arms around my hips. As soon as he loosens his hold, I turn onto my back only to have him straddle me and pin down my arms.

"Don't touch me," I warn and I know that the way he is holding me he is not crossing the line.

"What the fuck!" He yells.

I cannot even look at him so I turn my head, but not before I glance up and see the confusion and pain in his eyes. I caused that. He knows.

"Elliot," I say very carefully, "Get off."

When he does not move but holds still as if frozen, I have no other choice but to threaten him, "You start it, I _will _finish it."

Though he is a year older, I am stronger when I lose all sense of control and the adrenaline takes over. If that happens, he is toast!

Slowly, Elliot gets up and releases me. I take the opportunity to bolt toward the house, up the stairs, and to my room. I lock the door and lie down on the bed, catching my breath.

_BANG, BANG, BANG_

"Christian, open this door, now," Elliot yells.

I don't respond.

"Christian! I want to talk to you, open up."

He continues yelling and banging on my door until I hear other voices. I go lean against the wall near the door.

**Narrative POV**

Carrick and Mia enter the house, her going off to change out of her dance clothes and Carrick hearing Elliot yelling, heads up the stairs, taking two at a time.

"What the hell is going on up here?"

"Dad, I….I need to talk to Christian." Elliot says.

"Christian? Is something wrong? Is he upset?" Carrick says concerned.

"Is _he _upset?" Elliot snarls. "Maybe _I_ am the one upset." He yells and storms off to his room, slamming his door shut.

"Elliot!" Carrick scolds but he gets no response.

On the other side of the wall, the little boy that _is _Christian Grey, slides down the wall, hugging his knees to his chest.

As the tears fall, he whimpers, "Mommy, please help me. I have been bad again. I made Lelliot upset and made him and daddy fight. Please mommy, please help me. Why, why do I always do bad things?"

When neither of his sons comes out of his room for the rest of the afternoon, a bewildered Carrick decides he has to do something. So he first goes to Elliot's room, using his key to unlock the door.

Elliot is sitting at his computer so Carrick comes over and puts one hand on his son's shoulder.

"I'm sorry son. I should have thought about your feelings too." Carrick says.

"No dad, it's alright. Christian and I just need to talk about something but he refuses to talk to me." Elliot explains.

"Anything I can help with?"

"No, dad, it's between us….for now."

"Well if you need me, don't hesitate." Carrick squeezes Elliot's shoulder once before leaving.

Then he goes to Christian's door and unlocks it, opening it slowly to find his fifteen year old son curled up in a ball near the door, eyes red and puffy with a lost look on his face. He shakes his head in wonder. Though he does not know what is going on between his sons, apparently it is something big that they need to work out.

Carrick kneels down to Christian's level, "Son," he says softly. "Are you alright?"

When Christian does not respond, Carrick's heart starts pounding harder. The last thing he wants is for his son to regress. If Carrick had a choice, he would rather his son lash out than crawl back inside his shell.

"Christian, please. Talk to me."

**Christian's POV**

My eyes finally focus on my dad and the concern is evident. Just behind him I can see into the hall and Elliot is standing there staring at me though not alerting dad to his presence.

"Dad, I….I need….to be….alone."

"Sure son, I will be downstairs if you need me." Dad gets up and takes a deep breath before walking out of my room.

Elliot was instantly at the doorway and though he didn't say anything at first, I could tell he was still angry with me. I don't exactly know what or how much he saw of Elena and I.

"Bro, I _have_ to know…." Elliot started, "The bruises….the ones from before….did _she_ do it?"

I just glared at Elliot, not wanting to answer him. It felt like if I did then I would be admitting it openly and I didn't want to do that.

Elliot kneels down and our gazes' lock, "I was inside the gate behind the maple tree so don't lie to me."

"I know what I'm doing Elliot." I say with warning.

"Do you? Well, whatever it is you are doing, finish it. You cannot keep seeing her and allowing her to….to…." Elliot could not even say it but I knew he was referring to the beatings and the spanking that he saw today.

"Elliot, don't threaten me. I need it, need what she gives me."

"No, no….I won't accept that." Elliot shakes his head.

He sits back on his heels, sighing, and I know he is seeing me bent over the table, shorts down with my bare ass sticking out, and Elena spanking me. What's even more humiliating for us both is the fact that we both know he heard me begging for more.

We both look away in opposite directions, neither wanting to really discuss the details but from his demeanor so far, Elliot is very upset about what he saw today. _Oh Elliot, how do I make you understand?_

_**Please, please review and let me know your thoughts. Though I do not respond to each one, I do read them all. Thanks you for your interest and on a side note: Parents are getting along good. Father does need radiation but outlook is positive. Thanks for the well wishes.**  
_


	19. Control 19 The Party

The air is tense that evening at the dinner table that dad insisted we all gather at for our meal. Mom won't be home until tomorrow night so it's just the four of us.

"What are your plans tonight?" My dad asks glancing between Elliot and I.

"I am going to meet some friends in town." I respond.

"Yeah, me too." Elliot says giving me an evil glare before returning his attention to moving his uneaten food around his plate with his fork.

He knows it bothers me when he, or anyone I am dining with, does not finish their meal so he deliberately drops his fork with a loud clank and takes his plate to the kitchen.

He just wants to piss me off at this point and he is doing a really good job. Mia is oblivious to our little war, thank goodness. That innocence and purity radiating from her is something I never had. Oh how I envy her. The world is all good in her eyes with her rose colored glasses on. Unfortunately, at her age I never had those glasses.

Elliot smirks as he walks past me, heading into the living room. I take my time finishing my dinner and take my plate into the kitchen. When I head to my bedroom to change and get ready to go, Elliot comes bursting through the door.

"Well, let's see. Come on, let's see what she did to you."

When I do not move a muscle, he gets angry.

"Come on, bro, show me. It can't be any worse than what I saw before."

"She didn't hit me like that. She can't during the summer months." I explain.

"Really? Then what the fuck does she do, hm? " He steps close to me and lowers his voice, "Do you know what it felt like for me to see my own brother doing….what you were doing….with her? How am I suppose to get the image of _you_ begging _her _to spank you while splayed out over the table out of my mind? Shit, that's fucked up. _You _are fucked up!"

Elliot's eyes widen and I know he instantly regrets what he just said but it's too late, damage done.

"Get the fuck out of my room." I push on his chest.

"Christian….I…."

"Get the fuck out!" I say louder but not loud enough to alert my dad downstairs.

Though he looks really wounded by my pushing him away, he deserves it at this point. He does not understand Elena's and my relationship so there is no point in discussing it.

"Alright, I'm going." He says quietly and backs out of my room.

**Christian goes to the party at Jeff's house….**

"Chris, dude, guess what? Beth is here and she is going crazy wondering when you were going to get here."

"Great," I say sarcastically.

"Come on dude, she is looking so hot tonight."

I roll my eyes at Jeff and grab a beer. I have put four away by the time I leave my solitary dark corner on the side of the house. I really didn't want to see anyone so I hid out for over an hour. Finally, when I come around to the patio by the pool, I see Beth with Jeff. They both glance in my direction.

Jeff waves me over and I reluctantly go.

"Hey dude, you remember Beth right?"

"Of course," I smile, noticing how she has her hair in a braid. It seems like every time I have seen her since that night I did her hair, she has a braid. Like that would impress me?

It must be the beer because other wise I would not care to hang out with Beth but I ended up sitting with her and some of our friends by the pool.

"Christian, can I talk to you for a minute….alone?" Beth asks.

"Sure," I shrug finishing beer number five.

Walking has become rather difficult by this point but I am not worried, in fact it makes me want to laugh. Shaking my head at my own stupidity.

Beth leads me upstairs where we can be _private_ in Jeff's bedroom. This is not good. I hope she is not wanting to make out cause I have news for her, she can't satisfy me.

Beth sits down on the bed and looks up at me innocently, her eyes sparkling in the dim light. _Fuck what is wrong with me?_ My heart is beating fast and my breathing is shallow. I continue to look down at her but every second we remain like this, I feel the adrenaline building up inside me.

"Christian?" She says in a sweet but shaky voice.

_Don't….don't touch her Christian._

"Beth, I know you like me but _this_, between us, cannot happen. I like you but we can't….we can't go further."

Beth stands up quickly and we are mere inches apart, face to face. I swallow hard, clenching and unclenching my fists to keep from touching her. It's not that I don't want to, I do. The problem is that she could not handle what I want to do to her.

"Why Christian? I want to. I want to be with you."

"Beth," I gaze directly into her eyes, "I….I want…."

"What Christian? What do you want? Anything, we can do anything."

"Do you mean that…_anything_?" I search her eyes for any sign of fear but there is none, she just nods. She doesn't understand what I need.

"I want to have sex with you," I whisper.

There is heat in her eyes and I know the image of us fucking is in her mind. Beth starts to tremble and lowers her gaze. _Damn, she just made me her Dom! _My control takes a flying leap out the window_._

I grab her braid and yank her head back, she winces and a small sound escapes her. I crush my lips to hers, devouring her sweet taste, demanding her tongue. I suddenly don't care where we are and I lose myself.

I pivot around and sit us on the bed before breaking the kiss and gazing into her eyes. Both of us are gasping for breath but she doesn't look scared, she looks….wanton. She reached for me but I lean away.

"I don't like being touched, not my upper body."

She looks at me with confused but says softly, "Okay."

"What are you wiling to do?" I ask, my voice raw with lust.

"If it's you Christian, anything. I have liked you for a long time." She responds.

"Stand up….and take off your top and skirt."

She does a I ask but she is so nervous that she keeps her eyes averted, unable to look directly at me. Her fingers are shaking as she takes off one of her heels. Her cheeks are a rosy shade from her embarrassment at stripping in front of me.

"No! leave the shoes." I demand so she stops. Shaky fingers grab the hem of her halter top and she pulls it over her head. Suddenly she looks really scared.

She glances up at my reaction and it gives her courage. Though my smile is small, it reaches my eyes and I know they are sparkling with a mixture of lust and fascination for her gorgeous body.

Beth is already breathing harder as she grasps the zipper of her skirt and slowly lowers it. She lets it drop to the floor in a piddle at her feet.

I love the look of her in just her panties and bra, her lacy pink panties, bra, and white heels.

I inhale sharply, "Damn, you are fucking hot," I tell her as I reach out and press my hand, palm flat, up at her neck and let it slide all the way down to the edge of her panties. "Don't be shy, you are beautiful."

But something inside is pushing me to punish her. _God, I want to beat her just like Elena beats me then fuck her senseless._

I stand, spine straight, and order her, "bend over the bed. Don't worry, you will enjoy it."

Hesitantly she does what I say and I explain, "I want to spank you."

"Okay," her voice is shaky. I am probably freaking her out but I feel compelled to smack her ass.

Smack!

_Damn, that felt amazing. Holy fuck_!

Smack!

_Oh God_!

Smack!

_I gotta stop_!

Smack!

_Stop, Christian stop_!

Smack!

I hear her whimper and glance at her. Beth looks really scared though she is not crying. I quickly tear off her panties and unfasten my jeans, freeing my hard cock from its confines. One more smack and I would have come in my pants.

I position my self behind her but I know that she is a lot more freaked out than she looks and is trying to hide it. Whether she is afraid of me in particular or just how we are going about it, I am not sure. She needs reassurance.

"Good girl, you did well." I say with my voice raw and the fear leaves her eyes, replaced by her happiness at my verbal praise as I slip my fingers into her wet folds. _Fuck she is soaking!_ I circle her there but move to give my attention to her clit that I imagine, is pulsing with need. She writhes in front of me while I rub my fingers over the hard nub.

"Oh Christian, please, I want you." She moans breathlessly.

I can tell she is ready so I move into position behind her, that way she can't touch me. Then I grab the condom out of my pocket and tear it open, rolling it on an without warning, thrust hard into her.

"Ngh!"

"You okay?" I say, pausing.

"Y….Ye…. Yes!"

That was all I needed to hear so I start pounding into her. Instead of grasping her hips for leverage, I grab her braid, yanking her back with each thrust. She gasps but does not tell me to stop. She is so tight and wet. It's _sooo_ good.

Hitting her and fucking her hard like this is such a rush! I want her to take it! She _has_ to take it, my hitting and fucking her. I feel like I could alternate between the two all night long, over and over. I want to make her my bad girl, punish her, and then sink myself into her.

Suddenly, She clenches around me.

"Come baby, fucking come on me," I growl.

"Christian," She gasps.

I feel her get tighter and it is my undoing. I thrust hard and come with such intensity, much more than I had thought I would.

Both of us are starting to sweat when I pull out of her and toss the condom into Jeff's trash can. I tuck myself back into my jeans and pick up her clothes, handing them to her with a smile.

"Christian, that was….wow. I really liked that." She says averting her eyes to the floor out of embarrassment. "I wasn't sure about you spanking me…..but even that turned me on."

"Me too." I like her coy demeanor a lot more than her initial aggressiveness. I like her being too shy to look at me, expecting me to be the one in control.

Something in her expression though, concerns me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She says quietly.

"Beth, tell me," I say taking her hands and sitting us both on the bed.

She shrugs, "It….this….was just different than I had imagined. It was good, don't get me wrong, but just not a romantic as I had imagined."

"Beth, I'm sorry, I can't….do romantic. That is why I didn't want to do this. I just don't do slow and gentle, if that's what you wanted. It's just the way I am wired, I guess." I run my fingers through my hair.

Beth smiles and presses her palm to my cheek, "That's okay. I would take you however you are wired."

After getting dressed, we walk downstairs and join the group outside who are watching us intently. They all knew what we were doing. I immediately get a high five from Jeff, _douche._ Beth goes over to her friends and I get us each a beer. Then, as I am reaching in the cooler for two beers, it hits me like a semi truck, _what am I going to tell Elena?_ I cannot help thinking about her. _Fuck, she is going to be so pissed. Do I tell her?_

**Sorry about the wait. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Slow going with family stuff going on right now but don't give up on me, there will be more. Thanks for the reviews and suggestions on where you would like to see this story go. Merry Christmas and hope you all have a great holiday season wherever you are in the world.**


	20. Control 20 The Party 2

I sit down at the table where Jeff, Cory, and Doug are sitting. With Jeff is one of his many friends with benefits, Cory is alone, and Doug is with his girlfriend Tara. When Beth sees me sit down, she comes over and lowers her head. She peers at me through her lashes in her bashful sort of way.

"Sit," I instruct and with just a single word, she is on my lap. While we drink and talk with everyone, Beth moves further to the left so she can look at me occasionally.

"What?" I ask noticing that she apparently has something she would like to say.

"We….Well, I….was just wondering where things go with us after…." Beth stammers.

"Look Beth, I already told you that I don't do romantic so if you are looking for someone to _woo_ you. I am not that guy."

I say honestly.

"So….what are you looking for?" She asked curiously.

I shrug, "Someone to have fun with."

Other than that I don't really know since I had never thought about it. With concentrating on school and being with Elena, I pretty much have what I need. At least that is what I thought before Beth and I had sex.

"Beth!" Called Kelly, "Come over here."

Beth reluctantly gets up and goes over to her friends who are on the other side of the pool sitting at a table and talking.

Thoughts of Elena flood my mind and I go inside. I find a quiet spot on the steps leading upstairs. Before I know it, I have had several beers in a short amount of time but I can't stop. The blurrier my mind gets, the less I have to think about.

**Narrator POV**

Elliot and Casey enter the pizza place and are immediately bombarded with questions.

"How was the movie?"

"Did you like it?"

"I heard it was lame."

"It was ok," Elliot said as he and Casey slid into the booth.

It was eleven pm before Mike showed up with Tina. They came over to the table and joined Elliot, Casey, Pam, Keith, Brook, and Danny.

"Hey dude, where have you been?" Elliot asked, smiling.

"I went to my friend's place for a while. He is having a party at his house. Dude," Mike directs at Elliot specifically, "I had no idea that your brother was such a ladies man."

"What are you talking about? _My _brother? _Christian?"_ Elliot said in wonder.

"Yeah, he is totally wasted and whining about how some chick is gonna be pissed at him for fucking another girl." Mike said with a laugh.

"What?" Elliot rushed to his feet, a look of pure horror on his face.

Elliot walks over by the restrooms and calls Christian's phone.

"Helloooooo."

"Who is this? Where's my brother?" Elliot growls.

"Oh, hey Elliot, this is Jeff. Chris can't come to the phone right now since he is half passed out on my lawn right now."

"Is it Elena? I need to talk to her." Elliot hears in the background. _Oh fuck!_

"Jeff," Elliot says urgently, "I'll be right there. Just….keep him there till I get over there, okay?"

"Sure dude." The line went dead.

Elliot came back over to Casey, "I'm sorry but I need to go. Maybe one of these guys can take you home."

"Are you kidding?" Casey says in mock horror, "You might need help so I am coming with you."

"Casey, you don't have to do that." Elliot says quietly.

"I know."

XXX

Elliot barely gets the mustang in park before jumping out and running up to Jeff's house. When he and Casey walked in, there were people in various states of drunkenness. A couple of people were passed out, another couple making out on the couch, and some people dancing while they spilt their beers all over the floor.

Elliot quickly scanned the rooms he passed through until he came to the sliding patio doors. Out side he saw Jeff and some others sitting at a table. When Jeff saw Elliot, he waved and then motioned toward the side yard that was not lighted so it was dark and hard to see. He found Christian by nearly tripping over him.

"Mmm," Christian moaned.

"Christian! Hey, its me, bro," Elliot said kneeling down to the body lying completely flat on the ground.

"Hey, Lelliot," Christian laughed. Then he tried to get up and Elliott helped him but Christian nearly took them both down being as unsteady as he was.

"Lelliot, I am in so much trouble. Elena is going to _kill_ me." Christian's eyes were wide and he had an innocent expression, like a little kid. "Shit bro, she is gonna rip my balls off when she finds out!"

"Christian!" Elliot scolded, "Shut up dude. You can't talk about this here." He said looking around to make sure no one had heard Christian. Thankfully, the music was loud enough that no one did. Elliot also noted that Christian was slurring his words pretty bad and could not stand without help to steady him.

"Come on bro, let's get you home," Elliot said.

Casey helped Elliot get Christian in the car and then he gave her an apologetic look. Casey just smiled and got in the car.

During the drive home, Christian just kept repeating, "_She_ is going to beat the shit out of me. I've been so bad."

Luckily, he didn't use her name but Elliot was still irritated with his brother. Christian was not usually so careless. He was always responsible enough for the both of them. Now, here he was drunk and rambling on about some cougar, a cougar that obviously fucked up his mind.

Elliot loved his brother and that was why he had been so worried about him. He was afraid of the path Christian was travelling down. On the surface, Christian seemed to be getting better but Elliot knew his secret so he wasn't convinced like his mom and dad. If they knew about Christian and Elena they would probably have their son admitted to inpatient therapy because then they would know just how messed up he really was.

"Oh God, I think I'm gonna be sick," Christian moaned.

"Oh no, don't you dare puke in my mustang!" Elliot warned. "Hold on bro, we are almost there."

Elliot groaned when they pulled into the drive. "There is no way we can get him in the house."

Casey raised her brows expectantly, "What do we do then?"

Elliot let out a long deep breath, "I have to get my dad."

This night was just going from bad to worse. Elliot was no fool; he knew his father was up at eleven thirty at night and probably in his office that they would have to pass right by to get upstairs.

"Casey, stay here with him please and try not to let him puke in there."

The sound of the door made Carrick hesitate and raise his head out of the documents of the current case he was working on to see his eldest son standing in the doorway looking quite apologetic.

"What happened?" Carrick asked, sure that Elliot had wrecked his new mustang.

"Dad, I…..I need your help."

Carrick's brow furrowed at the tone in Elliot's voice and his wary expression.

Carrick stood up, "Alright."

He asked nothing else but just followed Elliot outside to the car. He raised a brow at the girl leaning against the car waiting for them.

"Uh dad, this is Casey. Casey, my dad, Carrick Grey." Elliot said.

Casey's smile was tight lipped since she was meeting her boyfriend's father for the first time under awkward circumstances.

Elliot opened the passenger door and Carrick was given his first glance at a disheveled, drunken Christian. There was even grass on his clothes from lying on the ground wallowing in his guilt.

"Is he….?

"Yeah dad, he's drunk."

"I can't wait. I really can't wait!" Christian whined.

Elliot rushed to grab his brother's arm and pull him out of the back of the car which was no small feat since the mustang only had two doors but thankfully Casey had released her seat so there was a little more room to maneuver.

As soon as Christian cleared the car, he fell to his knees and puked…..and puked again…..and again…..

Christian was whining from having expelled everything in his stomach and then continued to dry heave. His stomach muscles hurt from the involuntary reaction. He could not stop it.

It was about fifteen minutes later when he finally stopped. Elliot and Carrick hoisted him up and put his arms around their necks. They carried him up to his room with Casey following.

Once they dumped him on the bed, Elliot quickly said, "Hey dad, could you maybe show Casey where the living room is so she can wait for me. I just want to get him into bed first."

"Sure son," Carrick replied, his expression clearly giving away how proud he was of Elliot taking care of his brother.

Elliot didn't feel that he deserved it since the only reason he was offering was because he was afraid that if his dad did it, he might see something he shouldn't. _I am such an enabler! I wish I didn't care so much, bro, really I do._

But as Christian had mentioned before, there were no questionable marks on his body. _Thank god!_ The last thing Elliot needed was a mental image of what Christian did with Elena, _again_.

Christian moaned while Elliot stripped him but did not wake up. By the time Elliot left his brother's room, Christian was completely passed out.

When Elliot came in the living room, Casey and his dad were chatting. He sat down by Casey and smiled at her before turning his attention to his dad.

"So, You two talking about _me_?" Elliot said with amusement.

"Don't you think we have other things to talk about, besides you?" His dad replied.

"Nope. What could be better to talk about than me?" Elliot said in mock astonishment.

Carrick rolled his eyes and stood up. He came over and put on hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"Elliot, Casey told me what you did for your brother tonight. Thank you." He said earnestly.

Elliot blushed slightly but replied, "He needed me," he shrugged.

Then he got up and took Casey by the hand to pull her up too.

"Are you ready? I'll take you home."

"You okay to drive, son?"

"Yeah, dad. I haven't had anything to drink." He said moving toward the door.

"Well, it was nice to meet you Casey and thank you too."

"Your welcome, bye."

"Bye dad."

Carrick closed the door behind the couple and took a deep breath. He truly loved Christian as his own son but he wondered if the tornado surrounding the young man would ever let up or always consume him. Sometimes it was very difficult to deal with the many problems they had over the years with Christian since they adopted him. Although things got tough though, Carrick would never regret the day they brought Christian home.


	21. Control 21 Aftermath

Mom walked into the house, tossed her keys and purse on the table by the door before heading into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Of course, she was as loving as ever when we left that morning to go get my driver's license, though her eyes still held the sadness she felt. She was still angry at me for getting drunk after my dad told her about Saturday night. Unfortunately for me, they never kept secrets, especially when it came to us kids.

Outside sits my black and silver FJ that they got me for my birthday but it would remain there until I was officially ungrounded two weeks from now. That was my punishment and my parents knew exactly what they were doing by grounding their sixteen-year-old son from his first car the day before he got his license. _Well my week was starting out great!_

"Christian," My mom says coming back into the living room, "I need to go into work for a couple of hours so call me if you need anything. I should be home by three." She says heading toward the door.

"Okay," I respond and give her a small smile as I glance at the clock, noting that it was twelve thirty. As soon as the car is out of the driveway, I grab my phone.

GOT SOME TIME TODAY?-ME

OF COURSE, ANYTIME. I WILL BE WAITING-ELENA

Wonderful! I don't even know where Elliot is and frankly I don't care. I do appreciate him taking care of me when I was drunk but as far as where I am going now….it's none of his business. I really do not need to be lectured right now. My anger at myself and what I have done are enough to deal with at this point as I head out the back door.

I still don't know what to do about this past weekend. Yesterday, Elena came over and saw my mom for a while but I kept my distance from her. I know mom confides in her too and she probably knows what I did and why I need to see her now.

When Elena opens the door, she smiles at me, "Hey baby."

I just give her a sheepish looking grin and lower my eyes. I don't know what to say to her, how to explain what I am feeling.

"Why don't you go on downstairs and I'll…." She starts but I interrupt.

"Elena, I….I…." I stammer.

She gives me a concerned look and I know she is worried about me.

"Christian, what is it?" She asked cupping me face with her hand.

I lean into it, "I did something…..I slept with someone."

Elena gives me a curious look but then suddenly smiles, "Oh baby, it's ok. You are a young hormonal sixteen-year-old boy after all. Did you think I would be upset? Is that why you came here today?"

"I….I'm sorry. I was so bad. I got drunk and I….I had sex….and I just couldn't control myself." I stammer once again.

"Listen baby, having sex with someone is one thing but what we do together is entirely different. I am here helping you, teaching you and you are learning how to maintain composure when the situation warrants it. That is not something that you can learn by having a quick release with some young girl. What you and I have is so much more than that."

I simply stare at her as she continues.

"That does not mean, however, that I won't punish you for the loss of control you had that night. You are right, you were _bad_ but I will punish you good," she moves her hand to the back of my head and grabs tight, "So fucking good."

_Fuck, I'm ready to come right now!_

"Go downstairs Christian, she says in her Dom voice, "Assume the position."

I immediately take off towards the playroom without hesitation. God, I need this. I need her to beat me for losing it the other night in more ways than one. It wasn't just the sex or the drinking; it was both along with my inability to keep my mouth shut.

I am kneeling with nothing but my black thong on when Elena comes into the room briskly, slamming the door behind her. It startles me and I flinch but my eyes remain on the floor. Her heels click towards me until all I can see are the tips of her red shoes.

"Stand."

I stand, arms at my sides, eyes lowered. My heart is racing and I am near trembling with anticipation.

"Come Christian," She orders and we walk to the center of the room where she cuffs me to the suspended chains, my arms above my head.

Then she places the bar between my ankles and cuffs them also. I gasp when she blindfolds me but she is quick to move away so all I can do is hear her moving about the room.

Then she places a cock ring on my already throbbing erection. _Damn it's tight._

"Christian," She says sternly, "I am going to punish you. Tell me why."

"Be….because I was bad."

_Whack!_

_Fuck, she hit me with the paddle, hard!_

"Too vague. Why. Are. You. Being. Punished!"

When I speak my voice is gravely, "I….I got drunk….and I….slept with someone."

Elena's mouth is suddenly next to my ear, "You _fucked_ someone."

"Ye….Yes."

_Whack!_

"Say it Christian!"

"I fucked someone!" I scream out quickly in response.

"That's right. This," She grabs my cock tightly, "Belongs to me and _I_ am the only one who decides when you come or don't come. Is that clear?"

"Ye….Yes mistress." I whisper.

"Now count! You will receive ten hits."

_Whack! _"One."

_Whack! _"Two."

_Whack!_ "Three."

_Whack! _"Four."

Shit, I want to come so badly but I can't. I need this, the pain. I need to be beat for being so bad, for getting drunk, for losing control of myself. _Yes, fucking hit me, damn it!_

_Whack! _ "Five!"

_Whack! _"Six!" _It fucking hurts, she is holding nothing back. My ass is on fire!_

_Whack!_ "Seven!" I scream as the tears stream down my face.

"Three more Christian, as hard as I can."

_Whack! _ "Eight!"

_Whack! _"Nine, _Fuck Elena, please!"_ I beg.

A noise.

_Whack!_ "Ten!"

"Stop!" Elliot shouts.

_What the fuck?_ I hear Elena gasp and the scuffling of shoes on the wood floor. Suddenly the blindfold is torn off of me and all I see is Elliot's horrified expression that I don't feel Elena unfastening the cuffs quickly.

"Elliot!" I say angrily.

"Elliot please," Elena says softly, "Let's all just calm down and we can discuss this once Christian is dressed."

Elliot takes my pile of clothes in his hands and throws them at me none to gently, "Get some fucking clothes on!" He shouts and spins around toward the door. He doesn't even bother to shut it behind him.

I glance at Elena utter and complete shock on my face. I don't know what to do or say so I just stand there.

"It's ok baby, get dressed and we will talk to him." She reassures me, petting my head as she speaks.

Even as calm as she sounded, I can still see the flicker of fear in her eyes that someone saw us, what we do.

Elena stays and waits for me so we can walk in together. She takes my hand as we head upstairs, squeezing it to comfort me.

When we enter the living room, Elliot swings around and his expression says he is ready to commit murder. I, on the other hand, am shaking so badly that I can hardly take another step.

Elena opens her mouth but no words come, cut off by Elliot's rant.

"Don't you fucking say a word," he tells her.

Then he directs his anger at me, "You are sick, fucked in the head! What the fuck are you doing here?"

Just like that….I snap, "It's none of your damn business, is it Elliot?"

"You are my little brother so it _is _my business." He responds.

"Come on, we are going home," he says and grabs my arm.

"No, I don't want to." I struggle with him but suddenly he slaps me on the cheek.

We both freeze, just staring at one another for several minutes before Elena speaks, "Christian, we can talk later. Why don't you go with Elliot for now."

I give her another shocked look, "Who's side are you on?" I demand.

"Yours baby, please. This is best right now."

She cringes in reaction from the sad and hurt look I give her but she caresses the back of my head and smiles.

I take a deep breath and lower my eyes, unable to look directly at Elliot's face. Even without seeing it, I know he has a very disappointed look right now.

"Fine." I say and Elliot is already storming towards the door. I follow slowly, the walk of shame.

**Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers. Your thoughts are very important to me so please let me know what you think. Sorry this took a while but I have spent the last week with my father after his second surgery and then travelled for two days half way around the world. Hopefully now that I am home I can finish up this story. I hope to be done with it in the next few chapters?**

**If you have any ideas on what you would like to see happen, please PM me. **


	22. Control 22 The Park

Elliot threw open the door to the house and waited for me to enter before he slammed it shut and shouted, "What the _fucking hell_, Christian! I mean, shit, you have been going into that room with her and letting her do those things to you?"

I snap back, rage building rapidly, "She helps me! You would not understand but…..but she does."

"Do you hear yourself? That is completely twisted. You are letting some older woman treat you like her little whore!" Elliot shouts back. Then he throws his hands in the air, "What the hell am I suppose to do, huh?

I glare at him as he walks around the breakfast bar and slams his hands down on it. _What does he mean? What is he suppose to do?_

"Do you _want _me to tell mom and dad about this?" He asks.

"No, Elliot, no you can't," I beg him.

"You can't keep doing this. I won't allow it."

"Elliot, just stay out of it. I am handling it. This is not your concern." I tell him.

"Oh yeah, you are handling it alright, letting some woman chain you up and beat you is how you handle it?"

I run my hand through my hair. I am frustrated and angry and I just cannot deal with such intense emotions. How can I tell Elliot that the pain she gives me take my own away? He didn't come from the same place I did. He didn't have a crack whore mother like I did.

"Do you fuck her too? After she beats you do you fuck her?" Elliot shouts but I don't have to say anything because the look on my face says it all and Elliot's eyes grow huge.

"I can't believe this," Elliot shakes his head, "My little brother is some fuck toy for Elena _fucking_ Lincoln!"

Elliot stares at me for several long minutes and then storms off. I hear his bedroom door slam shut, conversation over.

My phone vibrates and I fish it out of my pocket to answer it, "Hello."

"Christian? Is everything okay?" Elena asks expectantly.

"Yeah, so far anyway. Look Elena…."

"Christian I would be more than willing to speak with Elliot if it will help but I think maybe we should lay low for a while, just until Elliot calms down. What do you think?"

She is asking me? All I want to do is bury myself in her right now and she wants to lay low, _shit!_

"Elena," I almost choke on the words, "I need you. I don't think I can do this on my own."

She can't leave me, not now. My crack whore mother left me, not Elena too. Why couldn't Elliot just mind his own business? If I don't have Elena to punish me when I have been bad and to take my pain away, what will I do?"

"Christian, I am not saying that we cannot see one another. Let's just cool it for a while. Moderation is the key to keep this as our secret. If we get too carried away then Linc or your parents might find out and that would be a catastrophe for us both, you know that." Elena reasons. "None of them would understand it and I don't want you to have to go through that."

"Alright….." I whisper.

"I'll call you later, I have to go." Elena says.

"Okay."

XXX

Two fucking weeks and I haven't seen Elena at all. I at least get to drive my FJ finally. Elliot has not spoken more than a few words to me in passing, and by my parents' expressions, they know something is up. At least now I can drive so I can leave the house and not be around him. He hasn't brought Elena up again so I am thankful for that.

For the first few days after he caught me at Elena's house, I was worried that he would say something to mom and dad but he hasn't. I think he knows how much of a mess that would be.

When I come home that evening, Mia is sitting in the living room watching cartoons and dad is in his office working. Elliot is sitting at the table on his laptop when he glances up and sees me, but the look in his eyes is definitely panic.

"What?" I ask shrugging. Have I grown a two more heads or something?

I walk into the kitchen to grab a soda when I hear the sound of voices out back. When I glance out the window I see my mom hugging someone…..Elena! What is she doing here?

She tilts her head up off mom's shoulder and our eyes meet. Immediately, my heart starts to pound in my chest and the rage is boiling inside me.

Elena has a bruise on her upper cheek and her makeup is streaming down her face with her tears. Linc! He fucking hit her again. Though I don't know their whole sorted story, I do know that he is abusive and has hit her before. Instantly, I want to hit something myself. Fucking bastard!

My mom apparently said something and Elena redirects her attention to her. Then they move off towards the patio chairs.

I feel like I am being watched and glance over my shoulder to see Elliot's look of concern. We might not be getting along but he knows that so much is going through my head right now and I think he is sympathetic to my plight.

Suddenly, my mom opens the sliding doors and come in with her phone in hand, "Yes, okay, I will be there soon."

Then she directs her attention at Elliot, and me "I have to go to work. Elliot, do you think you could drive Elena home?"

"I'll do it," I quickly respond. "Elliot looks busy and I am doing nothing so it's no problem."

"Okay, thanks you honey," She says squeezing my arm gently.

As she walks away, Elliot and I lock eyes for a minute but he just shakes his head and says nothing, good!

I walk outside and she is standing by the table gathering her purse. She smiles a meek, small smile before she straightens up and takes a deep breath.

"Mom asked me to take you home." I say softly.

"Thanks Christian." Elena replies and sweeps past me heading through the house and out to my car.

Once inside my car she sits with her hands in her lap and says in a whisper, "I don't want to go home yet. Can we go somewhere else for a while?"

"Sure," I shrug and start up my FJ.

We end up near a deserted park just sitting in the lot. Elena has been quiet since we left my house, too quiet. I am not use to her acting this way. With me, she is always so in control and in charge but right now she seems vulnerable and it leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

I hear her take a deep breath and then she turns to face me with defiant eyes and tense body.

"Christian, I want you to fuck me, now." She says in her Dom voice.

Instantly I am hard and ready. I want to fuck her just as much as she wants me too. She takes my hand and places it between her legs where she is already wet. She takes me by the wrist and urges my fingers inside her, scooting forward in the seat to give me access.

Of course I comply eagerly, pushing my fingers into her but my thumb teases her clit. I lean over towards her as my fingers ease in and out of her wet center. Before long, I am panting just as hard as she is, our heat steaming up the windows.

Suddenly she stops and pulls away and opens the door, "Come on baby."

We walk through the park to where a pirate ship jungle gym is located. Through a child size door on the side, the bottom of the ship is enclosed like a playhouse so we go in.

It's dark but we don't need to see anything at this point so Elena takes off my long sleeve shirt I had over my t-shirt and lays it on the ground. Then she lays down on it and draws up her knees.

"Lick me Christian, lick my clit," She demands.

"Yes mistress," I respond automatically and waste no time lowering my head, my tongue touching the little hard nub and she gasps.

She fists my hair, pulling my mouth to her eagerly. She does not want it slow but rough and hard.

"Mmm," I murmur as I taste her juices, _delicious._

"Eat me Christian….._yes_….." She chokes out.

As I continue to devour her I can't help but loosen my shorts and start stroking my hard cock. God, she is so fucking sexy with her platinum hair splayed around her head and I love it when she talks to dirty to me.

Suddenly, she grabs the back of my head and forces me to look at her, "Are you touching yourself Christian?"

"Ye…..Yes mistress," I whisper.

_Smack!_

She fucking slapped my face and I almost came. I move up, hovering over her to show her my hand around my stiff cock and look defiantly at her.

_Smack!_

"Yes mistress, please," I beg, panting heavily.

_Smack!_

I pant even harder and stroke my cock faster. God, it feels so fucking good. One more and I just might come.

It was as if she read my mind, "No Christian, you cannot come until I say you can. Is that clear!"

"Please, mistress, please let me come." I plead.

But she grabs my working hand and says, "Fuck me Christian but _do not_ come until I tell you."

I quickly position my self at her entrance and we lock gazes for a second before I thrust hard into her.

She smiles, "Yes baby, feel me wrapped around you."

I don't start slow but immediately increase the speed of my thrusts, both our bodies starting to sweat and our breathing coming out in gasps.

Everything, the rage, anger, and frustration are like lava in my body that is the volcano about to erupt. She is so wet and tight, moaning as I push into her.

"Oh fuck…..Elena….." I can't hold out much longer.

I feel her back arch and her body tense as her legs wrap dangle over my shoulders.

"Now Christian, fucking come now!" She demands and I lose it, my throbbing cock pulsing into her over and over at the same time that her muscles tighten around me. We are coming together. I barely notice her death grip on my hair as her long drawn out moan escapes her.

"Ahhh….." That was so intense that I cannot control my trembling limbs.

She grabs me and embraces me, thankfully I have my t-shirt on so I allow it but her hands remain on my shoulders.

When I pull back to look down at her, she smiles at me reassuringly.

"You were a very good boy, Christian." She purrs.

We quickly fix out clothes and head back to the car, still no one around. On the drive back to her house, she seems so much more relaxed and her usual confident self and I feel a thousand times better too.

I pull in her drive way and she says, "Sometimes moderation helps, hm." She smiles and gets out of the car.

I take a minute to breath deep before going home. When I walk in, Elliot is still at the table though Mia is probably in bed. He raises a brow at me, knowingly.

"Took you a while. She doesn't live that far." He says sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, she didn't want to go directly home," I say and walk out of the room.


	23. Conrtrol 23 Losing It

It was déjà vu, sitting in the principal's office waiting on my parents to come and pick me up. What is it with the month of October that for two years now, ended up in a fight? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; my parents were going to be angry. Dad had a busy schedule this week and mom was getting ready for a fundraising event that the hospital held every year. Having to come to the school and pick me up because I beat the shit out of that annoying asshole.

I was just minding my own business as I walked down the hall, headed to my fourth class when I heard the argument. Near the stairs, there was a guy, Andy that I knew from class and his girlfriend, Emily. By their body language and tone of voice it was easy to tell that they were fighting. Then, he grabbed her arm to stay her when she tried to walk away from him and I snapped.

"Hey, let her go," I demanded walking closer.

I could see that Emily was upset and there was fear in her eyes.

"Mind your own fucking business."

Oh, he did not just say that to me. I stepped up and smacked his hand off of her arm. Then it was on! The punches flew and before we were pulled off one another, he had a black eye and swollen jaw and a very bruised face, while I had a bloody lip and bruise just above my brow. When the teachers found us, I was straddling him and pounding away. His attempts to punch me were futile. Other than the couple of sucker punches, he had no chance. I knew how to fight, and win.

The nurse had given me some gauze to hold on my bleeding lip, which I did while sitting in the principal's office waiting for the disappointment that I would surely see in my parents' eyes as soon as they walked in.

The door opened but I didn't bother to turn in my seat. I already knew it was Mr. Stewart and my parents. Now we talk about the fight and I get suspended again. Then my parents ground me, again.

"Christian!" my mom says coming to examine my swollen lower lip.

"I'm fine," I say, pulling my chin out of my mom's grasp.

I can't look her in the eye, that sadness that always tears at my heart. Her silent pleading for me to say something to help her understand, but what can I say? I haven't seen Elena in three weeks, haven't heard from her at all. Usually, Elena texts me a few times during the week, but lately…..nothing. I don't know when I will see her again. I don't like not knowing. When we are on a pretty routine schedule, it is easier to handle things because I have that sense of assurance that we will be together. Without that security, I feel anxious and unsure. I hate feeling insecure!

"So Christian," Mr. Stewart says as he sits down at his desk. My parents each sit also but my mom takes my hand and squeezes it gently. "Here we are again. Why don't you tell me why you struck another student?"

"Didn't he tell you?" I asked, my tone dripping with irritation. For fuck sake, Andy was in his office first and for thirty minutes at that. What the hell did they talk about all that time?

"Christian, you know the drill. I get the story from both sides."

"Well, does it really matter when I am going to be suspended anyway?"

"Christian," my dad says sternly though his look pleaded with me to just go along with it. _Fine!_

"What was I suppose to do when he violently grabbed Emily's arm while they were fighting? Let him physically abuse her?"

Mr. Stewart sighs, "So you intervened in order to protect Emily?"

"Of course," I snap at him.

"Okay, although you know I do not condone fighting at my school, I will note the fact that you were concerned for Emily's well being. But that does not change the rules of this school so, as you already know, you will be suspended for tomorrow and a Saturday detention. Report to the library at eight o'clock on Saturday morning. You will be released at two forty five in the afternoon. Is that clear?"

"Crystal," I respond sarcastically. _Great, it will be like a bad rendition of the Breakfast Club._

"Andy will be there too so there better not be any more punches thrown by either of you."

"Thank you Mr. Stewart," my dad says taking his cue from the principal and standing up to shake his hand.

"Carrick," he nods and then shakes my mom's hand, "Grace."

"Come on Christian. Let's go home," my dad says satisfied with the outcome. I know they were worried that since it was my second offense, it could have been worse.

Hearing that I was looking out for the welfare of another student, defending a girl was something that they couldn't really argue with. I did the right thing and they knew it, they just couldn't say it out loud.

From the school, my dad heads back to work, leaving my mom to follow me in my FJ to the house. Once there she follows me inside.

"Christian, although you broke the rules, I am proud of you for protecting that girl when there was no one else around." My mom says cupping my cheek with her palm.

"I know mom."

"Now then, I have to go. Elena and I are working on preparations for the fundraiser so I will be back when we are finished. In the meantime, you are grounded until after your detention Saturday."

I roll my eyes and she notices.

"I know you were trying to do the right thing but you still broke the rules and will be reprimanded for that." My mom says expectantly waiting for my reply.

"I know." I say quietly.

She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and then heads out to Elena's house. I am jealous. There is no other place I'd rather be right now then with Elena.

Thankfully, even though Elliot is still barely talking to me after all this time, he has not told mom and dad anything. I have done my best to not give him any reason to suspect that we are still together, but Elliot is not stupid.

When he comes home after dropping Mia off with our grandparents, he gives me a curious look. He drops his bag near the table and goes to the fridge.

"So, got in a fight huh? What, is Elena too busy to play with her boy toy?" Elliot says sarcastically with a grin on his face.

OK, maybe he is stupid. I lunge out of the chair and straight towards him so fast that he has no time to react when my fist connects with his jaw.

His back slams into the closed fridge and he is momentarily stunned. Then he gives me a hateful look as he rubs his jaw. I am seething with so much rage that I am shaking and breathing heavily.

We stare at one another for several minutes before he shakes his head and steps around me. I immediately regret hitting him I just couldn't help it. It's not that I am angry he said it, it's because he is right. She is too busy for me and without her to beat down my rage, take away my pain, and give me the punishment that I need, I lose it.

I sit down at the table again and drop my head in my hands, _when is she going to call?_

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I am working on Christian developing his inner Dom so that is coming. Stay tuned.**


	24. Control 24 The Fundraiser

The night of the big hospital fundraiser for the Family Support Center is underway and the reception hall looks outstanding. My mom and the committee really went all out this year, over two hundred people expected to attend.

As with all events of this nature, there will be dinner, a speech, some dancing, and then the auction. It is a silent auction so only the winners of the prizes will be recognized at the end of the evening.

Mia is fortunate that she is so young. She is at our grandparents' house tonight while Elliot and I had to put on tuxes and attend the party. Of course, mom let him bring Katie, his new flavor of the month. Mom even went with her to buy her dress so that she got the right type of thing for this kind of event.

Elliot is sitting next to me but leaning rather close to Katie. _Get a room already!_ I on the other hand, brought no one with me. That worries my parents though. They don't understand that I have Elena, _well most of the time except lately, _so to ask a girl to come with me tonight would have needed to be more of a sort of business arrangement, I chuckle to myself, since I don't want a relationship or beginner sex. Like any high school girl is going to let me take her out for one night without strings attached.

The night is just starting and it was going to be a long one, longer than I first thought, when I see the couple coming towards the table where Elliot, mom, dad, Katie, and me are sitting.

Elena is wearing a deep red fitted strapless gown with a seam off center that has sequence running the length of the seam. Her red heels are just barely noticeable through the nearly thigh high slit in her dress, one long tan leg teasing as it is exposed while she walks. Her platinum hair is pulled up with a few curls across the back of her neck. _Holy fuck! She is smoking hot!_

Unfortunately, Linc is beside her with a very secure arm about her waist. I have been in this position before though that was several months ago and every minute was torture.

As soon as they were seated at our table in the remaining two empty chairs, Linc puts his arm around her chair protectively. Knowing that he hits her makes me want to hurl when I see him playing the kind loving husband in public. I know better, we all do.

When my turn comes for introductions, I stand and shake Linc's hand.

"Good to see you, Christian." Linc states authoritatively.

"You too Mr. Lincoln, Elena." I nod.

Elena smiles but I know its fake when it does not reach her eyes. She isn't enjoying this anymore than I am. At least that knowledge makes me feel a little bit better. If she had been totally indifferent, then I would worry, especially since we haven't spoke in over two weeks.

During dinner, mom and dad converse with the Lincolns' while Elliot and Katie are to engrossed in one another to acknowledge that the rest of the world still exists and I sit quietly yet soak up the business matters that Linc and my dad are discussing.

The business world fascinates me. With the right amount of money, one could really be successful if given the right guidance and making the right choices. One bad investment could destroy a person financially. It pays to know the ins and outs of the businesses one runs, buys, or sells. As well as keeping a close eye on any investments to ensure that they are worth one's time to explore and possibly be a part of. In the end, he who has the money has the power.

That power to control the world around him is exactly what I want to have one day. If I play my cards right with regards to school and my personal life, I could be one of those people, from crack-whore offspring to rich and famous.

My thoughts vanish instantly when I see Linc lean in to kiss Elena's neck. Her nervous smile and lack of enthusiasm has me seething. When we are together, her eyes sparkle with excitement. _I _do that to her, not Linc. Yet here he is all smug, knowing that he has the hottest woman in the room _and_ that she belongs to him. _Well, fucker, she comes to me when you aren't around_.

We sit quietly while the president of the Support Center speaks. I glance over at Linc and Elena occasionally and the lights are dim enough that they don't seem to notice. Linc's hand is under the table and Elena is shifting in her seat uncomfortably while her cheeks turn a rosy color.

I am quickly losing what little patience I have being around them. I want to fucking punch Linc and fuck Elena. Neither of which I can do at this very moment.

_Don't Christian; don't lose it, not here, not now. _But I just can't take it any longer so I use every bit of my remaining patience to slowly get up and excuse myself from the table.

I go out into the lobby of the hotel and around the corner into the hallway that looks like it leads to some private rooms or offices. My back and head hit the wall with a thud. I attempt to calm my labored breathing when I hear the faint click of heels becoming louder…..and louder…..

I open my eyes when Elena's scent fills my nose.

"Hey baby," she says softly.

"Hey," I choke out, my throat dry from the adrenaline rush.

"You ok?"

I chuckle, "No."

"Look baby, I don't have much time."

I roll my eyes.

"Christian," she says quietly yet with so much authority that I instantly lower my eyes. "I will have you_ soon_ and you will be disciplined for rolling your eyes at me but in the meantime you must behave or I will punish you further."

I close my eyes and breathe deeply, "Please," I whisper.

She leans in until her mouth is near my ear; "I will fucking beat that delectable little ass of yours until it glows. Then I will make you wait until the very last minute before I let you come."

Her sultry, seductive tone has me rock hard and throbbing.

"Elena," I beg.

She glances around before slapping me, not as hard as in the playroom because she doesn't want to draw attention to us, but hard enough for now.

"Control yourself Christian." She states and turns abruptly walking away.

Of course, I have to wait a good ten minutes and go to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face before returning to the table.

**Elena's POV**

I can see the ticking time bomb that is Christian Grey in my peripheral vision. It is very nerve-racking to have to sit at the table with both he and Linc, especially with the way Linc is. He is confident that he has the best trophy wife at the party and he likes the attention. At the same time, he gets overly jealous when even just one man looks in my direction and feels he has to do something to prove that I am all his.

He made me put the balls in before we left the house and the way they massage my insides when I walk or move in any way makes me so wet. He likes me starving to be fucked as soon as we get home so he can play with me. He will make me wait and beg for it repeatedly before he lets me come. It's his favorite little game. It makes him feel powerful.

While we are here though, I have to be conscious of how I smile and how I speak or he will immediately think I am flirting. That will only get me the beating of my life when we get home.

Christian's abrupt leave of the table gives me an idea. So I tell Linc I need to use the Ladies room and excuse myself. When I find Christian, I can tell he is losing it, _tick, tick, tick._

I only have a couple of minutes or Linc will come looking for me. I want to dominate my boy, get that sense of control and power that I crave during his absence. Linc has been so suffocating lately, I think he is suspicious but there is no way he knows about Christian and I. We are very careful.

When Christian rolls his eyes, I snap.

"Christian," I say, "I will have you soon and you will be disciplined for rolling your eyes at me but in the meantime you must behave or I will punish you further."

"I will fucking beat that delectable little ass of yours until it glows. Then I will make you wait until the very last minute before I let you come."

Christian is about to explode, and not in a good way when he begs, "Elena."

Seeing no one near us, I slap him. He has to calm down or it would be bad for us both. Just that one slap and I almost lose the balls settled inside me. It is such a rush to be the one with the power and Christian is such a natural sub.

"Control yourself Christian," I say and then I leave him. I could say more but instead I just go. I have to be very, _very _careful.

When I see Linc checking his watch while looking in my direction I sigh, _it's going to be a long night._


	25. Control 25 The Club

Mia is telling mom and dad all about the new dance she is learning in dance class and even Elliot seems interested. She is the most adorable ten-year-old, but then I am biased. If it came down to it, I would do anything to protect my baby sister and I know Elliot feels the same way.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and my knee hits the underside of the table, "Sorry," I say.

Everyone at the table stops eating and Mia stops talking to all stare at me. It was only a split second though and then she is rattling off once again right where she left off.

"Excuse me," I say getting up from the table.

"Christian?" Mom asks.

"Need to, you know," I say indicating I need the bathroom.

Once inside I grab my phone from my pocket, Elena. It was not a text though; she tried to call so I quickly call back. If she called then obviously Linc is not around.

"Christian?" She says.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Hey baby, listen, can you get away Friday night? I know your mom and dad have a benefit to go to. I have plans for us."

"Sure, I'll figure something out." I tell her.

"Okay great. I'll text you later. Bye," Elena says.

"Bye."

I shove my phone back into my pocket and head back to the table to join my family. I have to contain my excitement. My heart is beating wildly from the call with Elena. It has been way too long since I saw her. The last time was at the fundraiser two weeks ago. I am so agitated, I'll have to remember to lock my bedroom door tonight so I wont be disturbed. My release will help me to relax but it will be very unsatisfying.

**Friday Morning**

"So Christian, you are going out tonight, right?" My mom asks during breakfast.

"Yeah, With Cody, Brent, and Jeff." I respond. I hate lying to my mom but I am so nerved up right now about what Elena has planned and I don't want to miss it.

"Okay, well, be careful," mom adds.

"And Elliot? What are your plans?" She turns to him.

"Oh, you know, the usual. I gotta date." He shrugs but when my mom turns her attention to her food, Elliot gives me an evil glare. I think he suspects something but he will just have to deal with it because I am not telling him anything.

I grab my backpack and realize I left my phone on my desk in my room so I go retrieve it and leave for school. Just as I grab the door handle, Elliot comes out of the house.

"Bro, wait up."

"What?" I say sighing. This thing with us has got to stop. He needs to get over the fact that I am with Elena.

"You aren't going with those guys tonight are you?"

"What are you implying?" I say angrily.

"Hey, it's not my fault you came downstairs early and left your door open with your phone just sitting there." Elliot says smugly.

"You….you looked at my phone?" I am seething with rage. I just want to fucking punch my brother right now.

"Yeah, you're going out with _her._ I saw her text about picking you up at the mall."

Through gritted teeth I say, "Elliot don't…."

"Look," he interrupts and takes a deep breath, "Just….be careful. Call me if you need to." The look on Elliot's face screams worry but he is not trying to stop me.

That throws me off a bit but I respond, "Thanks, _bro_. I'll keep that in mind."

Elliot gives me a small smile and a nod before walking to his car. I get in my own and start it up. It's going to be a long day at school.

I am sitting in the parking lot of the mall waiting for Elena to show up. I have no idea what she has planned for tonight but I am certainly eager to find out.

She pulls up next to me and waves so I get out, lock my FJ, and hop in her car. She looks hot! Her hair is down; she has on her red suit with a white top and black boots that go clear to her knees. _Holy shit!_

"Hey baby," She smiles.

"Hi," I say.

"Ready?" she asks and I nod.

As we drive she says, "I am so glad you could come with me tonight. We are going somewhere very fun and educational, I think." She glances at me and the nervousness is evident on my face.

"Listen, we are going to this little club I know. It is private and I am a VIP member so when we get there just act natural and stay with me, ok?"

"Is there something I should know about this place?" I ask, not liking the way she said that.

"No, it's fine. There is just one teensy little thing that could be an obstacle."

I raise a brow at her.

She smiles, "You are technically too young to enter but no one will question you as long as you are with me."

"Okay," I say slowly.

"While we are there, I will not use your name and you call me mistress like in the playroom."

I shrug, "Ok sure."

We arrive downtown where there is several buildings but we park and go to some stairs of one where there is a door at the bottom. It is not marked but Elena opens it and enters so I follow.

Inside is a small room with a door off to the side and a desk where a man is sitting. He is wearing a black tank top, tight leather pants, and boots. But what stuns me is the black makeup and the collar around his neck.

"Hello Mistress," he says bowing his head slightly.

"Hello David."

"Well, well, look at this tasty little morsel," He says as his eyes roam over me making me very uncomfortable.

Elena presses a palm to my cheek, "Yes he certainly is."

Then the man gets up and opens the door for us, closing it behind us. As I glance around the large room I am completely floored by what I see. There are people everywhere and they are using various equipment that looks like it came from some medieval movie. There is suspension, chains, crosses, benches of all shapes and sizes.

The people are dressed outlandishly too. Some women are in baby doll nighties; other men and women are in leather. It's like a full-on hard-core BDSM porno. _Holy shit! It's actually scaring me,_ I think to myself as a woman walks past us with her man following being pulled by a leash attached to his collar.

Elena must sense this as she leads me down a hall to a room because she says, "It's ok baby, couples come here to explore with one another. No one touches someone else's partner, unless of course permission is granted. There are all sorts of people here though and discretion is priority. So even if you see someone you recognize, you do not acknowledge him or her. Everyone signs a form that they will keep whatever they see and do here private."

Inside the room, there are black leather pants and a black t-shirt. Elena goes to them and holds them out to me, "I got these for you. Put them on." She says in her authoritative Dom voice.

I am uncomfortable as the pants leave my naked ass exposed but Elena comes up to me and says, "Raise your chin."

She puts a collar with a leash on me then tests it by yanking down hard on the leash bringing me to my knees. I look up at her and her expression softens.

"Christian, we are just playing like at home. Relax."

Then she leads me out of the bedroom and around the huge playroom, "Is there anything you see that you want to try?" She says quietly.

"I…I don't know," I respond nervously.

Elena walks around confidently like she is showing off her little pet. I am not sure I am into this. I just want her to beat me, take away my pain, and punish me for being bad.

She leads me to a room and we go in. It looks like a dungeon with a narrow table in the center. There are cuffs at one end and at the other the legs of the table come up higher.

"We are alone Christian, take off the pants."

With shaky fumbling hands I obey. Once I am naked from the waist down, she instructs me to lay on the table with my knees outside the raised legs. She cuffs my wrists and ankles, leaving me spread wide open at the edge of the table.

I cannot control the shaking of my body as nervous as I am but I trust Elena.

"Now baby, we are going to do something that might be more painful for you. If you need to safe word, do not hesitate. Ok? You must safe word for me to stop."

"Yes mistress."

"Good boy, let's begin." She says and retrieves something from a table near by that looks like a long ruler. She stands between my legs and slaps my thigh. _Shit, that hurt but damn I like it._

_Slap! _She hits me other thigh and I pull at the restraints suddenly rock hard and wanting.

_Slap! _"Ngh…fuck!" She slapped my balls, hard.

"You have been a very bad boy to get in a fight at school and then rolling your eyes at me. Time for your punishment, baby. You want me to punish you don't you?"

"Yes, fuck yes!"

"Then say it!" She yells.

"Punish me mistress. Please….beat me." I beg. My balls are stinging but I am sure that a couple more slaps will have me coming.

_Slap!_

_Slap!_

_Slap!_ Fuck, she hit my balls, my cock, and my thighs, alternating with each blow. She does it again….and again….and again.

It hurts worse than anything she has ever done and I am so close to coming.

"Baby, Don't you dare come!" She orders as if she could read my mind.

"Please mistress," I beg fighting the tears that are about to fall.

_Slap! _ "Yellow!" I scream through my tears.

Elena drops the ruler and climbs up over me. She raises her skirt to reveal nothing but her soaking wet sex and straddles my face bracing her legs on small blocks on either side of my head. Then she grabs my hair so tight it feels like she ripped it out.

"Lick me baby. I know you are hungry and this is your reward for safe wording."

I can't help it being right on the edge and then she stopped. _I want to come. I want to come so fucking bad that my body is trembling._

I devour her eagerly, licking and sucking her clit, her folds, all of it.

"Oh such a good boy. Yes, oh baby," she moans.

When she is satisfied with me, she gets up and uncuffs my ankles. Then she straddles my hips, tears off her suit coat and unbuttons her shirt to expose her very erect nipples. She touches them and all I can think is that I want to touch her but I can't. I pull hard on the wrist cuffs but they do not give.

She takes my throbbing cock in her hand and then lowers herself down all…the…way. _Fuck, she feels so good wrapped around me._

She moves slowly, taking her time and I beg, "Please mistress. Please let me come!"

_Smack!_

"You will come when I tell you to!" she yells but she speeds up, throwing her head back and moaning.

"You like it when I fuck you don't you hard, don't you?"

"Yes, oh yes mistress," I groan.

She speeds up faster…and faster…raising up and slamming down on me.

"Mistress I….I…._Please!"_

"Now baby, come in me now!" She growls through gritted teeth.

"Oh fuck!" is yell as I pull on the cuffs and explode, the waves of cum pulsing out of me.

"Ahhh…yes baby!" she cries out, her muscles contracting around me as she comes.

Breathless and panting hard, she sits still with my cock deep inside her.

Then she smiles at me, "Oh baby, that was wonderful."

Then she gets up, fixes her skirt, and takes off the cuffs.

She kisses my lips before I sit up and says, "You were a good boy. Now let's try something else."

**Thanks to all of you following this story, Please review. I am thinking of jumping ahead a bit. I think it is time Christian meets someone. Hmm, wonder who?**


	26. Control Review

**This is a review I just received and obviously that person did not read Fifty Shades because then they would know that it is twisted and wrong. Thus the reason everyone hates Elena. Of course she is a pedophile and yes Christian is being abused. But this is not just about the sex, it's about how Christian becomes the man he is later on due to his past. I have worked with abused people of all ages and all kinds of abuse so of course I don't agree with it either. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and this is mine regarding Christian's background before getting straightened out by Ana. Not that I need to explain that to my followers because they know that already. What floors me the most is the audacity of someone who does not know me or my readers and is judging us. Just because we write and read fiction does not mean we live it. **

** Sorry to my readers but if you like a story, say so and if you hate it, say so but that does not give anyone the right to pass judgement on the writer or the followers. I feel that this guest went too far! **

ghostwriter4836,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Control

Chapter: 25. Control 25 The Club

From: Guest

:This is a story to be read by Pedophiles, because you are all getting off

with a grown woman old enough to be his mother, having sex with a child. You

people are sick for even reading this and shame on the writer for getting

enjoyment writing about a boy being molested. This story is about child abuse,

this isn't entertaining, you think the sex scenes are great, well think about

who she is having sex with and doing it behind his parents back, she is a

sexual predator.


	27. Control 27 Caught Sort of?

**Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support. Someone can say what they want about me but not my readers! It is you (followers) that make or break a story. You and your reviews make a writer want to write and keep them writing. Love to all! Enjoy!**

Grace received the text from Elliot just before noon that day. He needed his hockey gear so he could go to the rink straight from school. His coach would make him run laps if he was late so he begged his mother to bring the gear before school ended.

She had all his equipment with the exception of his black t-shirt with the team logo on it that he was required to wear. Ilsa was new to their home and had taken over the duties that Grace had no time to deal with like cleaning and laundry. _Maybe Ilsa put Elliot's t-shit in Christian's drawer?_ The boys wore nearly the same size and Ilsa had not been there long enough to know whose clothes were whose. So Grace went into Christian's room to search for the shirt.

The top drawer of his dresser was his underclothes, the next his socks, and the last three were t-shirts. She rummaged through the first two t-shirt drawers not finding any hockey shirt so she moved on to the last drawer. It was not as full as the others but when she started moving the shirts to get a better look she heard a clanking sound. _That's strange, _Grace thought. When she pulled the shirts out she gasped at what she saw.

Lying under the clothes were things of a certain nature that Grace was shocked. There was a black leather collar with a ring that had a thin black leash attached to it. Then there were clamps that were attached by a chain. If those didn't stun her enough, there was a small rubber ring and a butt plug.

_Oh! My! God! What in the world?_ Grace had to sit down for a moment to catch her breath and calm down. She may not be into the BDSM scene but she did recognize the things in the drawer, well, not the clamps so much. But everything else being in her son's possession was absolutely appalling. She immediately phoned Carrick.

"Hello dear," He answered.

"Carrick," she said in a panicked voice.

"Grace, what's wrong? Are you ok? The kids?"

"Oh Carrick, we need to talk." Grace said worriedly.

"I'll be right home."

"I need to run to Elliot's school and then I will meet you back here." Grace said.

"Okay, bye."

Grace showed up just as lunch was ending and Elliot was near the end of the hall when she walked through the doors. He smiled walking up to her.

"Thanks mom, I appreciate it." He said but instantly became concerned when he saw her distraught expression that she just could not hide.

"Mom, are you alright? What's wrong." Elliot was now worried too.

Grace moved out of the middle of the hall over by the wall and said, "It's your brother."

"What? Is he hurt? Something happen? Mom, tell me." Elliot asked in all seriousness.

Grace took a deep breath and leveled her gaze on her eldest son, "Christian has been hiding something from us. It's pretty disturbing so I will not go into detail with you. This is something Christian alone has to take responsibility for."

"Oh my God, you know?" Elliot had spouted the words before he could stop himself. By the now horrified look on his mother's face, all Elliot could think was, _open mouth, insert foot._

"Elliot," Grace said his name slowly narrowing her eyes at him. "Just what is it that you think I know?"

"Look, mom," Elliot said nervously, "This isn't my story to tell. You need to talk to Christian."

"So, you knew what he was doing and didn't say a word. Elliot, how could you? He is a 16 year-old boy, a BOY! He should not even know what those things I found in his drawer are. God forbid he uses them alone or with another person."

Elliot was a bit confused by his mom's words. _What exactly did she find? Did Christian keep he and Elena's toys in his room?_

"Mom, calm down, listen, you know that you cannot just go confront him angry like this. You know Christian, it will completely backfire on you and then he will be even more messed up than he already is."

"Elliot!"

"It's true. You need to broach this carefully or you could send him into a tailspin and then who knows how he will react, what he could do."

Grace took a few deep breaths, "You are right Elliot. You are absolutely right." She said, her mind suddenly elsewhere.

"I gotta go to class so thanks again for the gear." Elliot said leaning in to kiss Grace's cheek.

"Bye son, I love you."

"Love you too."

XXXX

When I got home from school, I go straight to the dining room table to start my homework. My life has turned around for the better. I haven't been in trouble in or out of school and my grades are outstanding. I am focused, driven. If I keep doing well, I will one day be a success.

I glance up to see my mom staring at me from the kitchen doorway, "Hi mom." I smile.

She smiles back but it is quite a sad attempt. Maybe she had a bad day or she is tired or something. Oh well, need to hit the books.

After an hour of studying, I realize that Mia and Elliot should have been home by now. I get up to find my mom sitting in the quiet living room with a glass of wine.

"So mom, where is everyone?" I ask.

"Mia is at grandma and grandpas' house and Elliot had hockey practice after school." When she speaks her voice is very dull.

"Ok, I'll be upstairs. Just call when dinner is ready." I say.

**GRACE REFLECTING ON HER TALK WITH CARRICK**

She set the things she had found on his desk. Carrick stared wide eyed at them and then at his wife. She explained how and where she came upon them by accident. Carrick was livid. He wanted to both scream and hit something but seeing his wife about to break down, he knew he had to be strong for her.

"Oh Carry, what do we do?" Grace sobbed.

"Oh darling," he said coming to kneel on the floor in front of where Grace had sunk in the chair. He took her hands into his own.

"Listen Grace, we'll talk to him, find out what this is all about. Right now that is all we can do. You remember when we started this family. We understood that they were going to make mistakes, even fail at some things but that we would always be there to love and support them."

"Carry, he is just a boy. How does he know about this stuff?" Grace's pleading eyes hoped for an answer that Carrick did not have.

"Grace, our kids are growing up. Though I do not prefer it, there are some things out there that they are going to be curious about. We can't put them in a bubble or lock them away until they are 18. That would be just a detrimental as letting them run wild which we also do not do. Most of the time, I think our kids make good choices, the right choices. But as I said, they will also make mistakes."

"What do we do, Carry? How do we deal with something like this?" She motions to the sex toys.

Carrick takes a deep breath, "We talk to him. We let him explain whatever he needs to explain. Then we figure out the best method of a solution to this. Hell Grace, they might not even be his."

"They are, I could see it in Elliot's face. He knows Carry. He knows about it but he said it was Christian's story to tell." Grace dropped her head in her hands in defeat.

"I feel betrayed. Christian betrayed our trust by hiding this from us. He knew we would never allow him to have such things. Then the questions run through my mind like are these just personal items or, God forbid, does he use them with someone? Because if that's the case this could be a bigger problem than we thought." Grace was mortified at the thought that her son might be using the toys with one of his classmates.

"Grace, first we will talk to him and then we will decide a course of action, okay?" Carry said softly.

"Okay." Grace responded and then broke out into tears again, "I am just so disappointed."

"I know dear," Carrick said and wrapped his arms around his wife to comfort her.

**END OF REFLECTION**

There is a knock at my door so I say, "Yeah?"

"Son, I would like you to come to my office for a moment please." Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. But I haven't done anything to warrant a talk in the office. As I walk through the house I realize that it is after five. Elliot's practice will be over soon and he will be home. Wonder when Mia is coming home? It is not often she is gone during the week.

Maybe something has happened? Hopefully Mia and Elliot are both okay. I can't imagine why dad wants to talk in his office. When we get in trouble he brings us in there and sits us in the chair opposite his desk. It's quite intimidating.

I get to the door and see my mom sitting down. Her eyes are red and puffy like she has been crying. My dad stands from behind his desk and motions for me to sit in _the chair._ His expression is not happy but he doesn't quite look angry either._ What is going on?_

Hesitantly, I take the seat before him and he sits down at the same time.

He clears his throat, "Christian, we need to discuss something with you."

"Okay," I say slowly.

He takes a deep breath and continues, "Your mother had to take Elliot's hockey gear to school today and she could not find his t-shirt so she thought maybe Ilsa may have accidentally put it in your drawer." He pauses and takes another breath, "Something concerned your mother so she brought it to my attention."

I am shaking already and yet I have no idea what this is about. What has them so disturbed?

My dad reaches down behind his desk to get something and set it on top. It's a large ziplock bag. _HOLY SHIT!_

"Now Christian," my mom jumps in when she sees my horrified expression. "Darling, we just want to talk about this."

Talk! What the fuck am I suppose to say? Oh this is really bad. I can see my dad tense up.

"First of all, are these yours?" My dad asks.

"Uh…."

"Christian, please do not lie to us," my mom says with such sad eyes that it tears at my heart. I glance at my dad and see the disappointment there. I did this. I caused this. I caused them more heartache and pain.

I lower my eyes, unable to even look at them, "Yes."

My dad closes his eyes, obviously trying to remain calm, "Who are you using these things with?"

I shake my head and _lie_, "No one, they are just mine. I was curious….so I got them."

I can tell that they are skeptical of my response but what else am I going to say to them. I can't tell them about Elena and I. They would go ballistic.

My dad takes another deep breath, "So there is no _experimenting_ with a girl going on?"

"No, no they are mine." I say trying desperately to not tremble as I sit in my father's office and lie to my parents.

"How did you get these?" My dad asks.

"Dad, you can get anything on the internet," I say.

He thinks about what I said for a few minutes and glances at my mom who looks about to cry.

She gets up and comes to me, resting her palm on my cheek, "We are just worried about you, darling. If you need help we will get more help."

"Mom, I'm fine. I heard some stuff at school and so I started looking things up on the computer. Then I bought some stuff. That's all."

Inside I can feel the adrenaline rush. I am anxious and barely holding on, so close to the edge. _Control yourself Christian!_

"Look, keep them. I….I don't need them." _Elena has enough stuff in the playroom anyway._ One thing I know for sure, they can never find out about us. So many lives would be destroyed. I have to have her in my life, what she gives me _and_ what she takes away.


	28. Control 28 Beginning of the end

_Knock, knock._

I didn't even bother to shut my door, just went straight to the bed, flopped down, and threw my arm over my eyes. I glance up to see Elliot standing there.

"Hey bro," he says, "tough day?"

"You could day that." I respond.

"By your joyous expression, I take it that mom and dad talked to you?"

"What do you know about it?" I ask, glaring at him.

"Well I saw mom earlier today and she mentioned something." Elliot says and tells me about their conversation. "If it's any consolation, they are pissed off at me too for knowing something and not saying anything." He paused, "So what happened?"

I explain what they found and what I told them. Elliot did not seem too pleased however.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing bro, I just had hoped that….maybe this _thing_ between you and _who-know-who_ would be over but…." Elliot didn't finish.

I narrow my eyes at him, "You won't say anything?" I half ask half warn.

"I don't like it and I don't understand it. But no, I won't say anything." He says and turns to leave with a rather defeated look on his face.

I am surprised that with everything in such a mess right now that I am as tired as I am. But sleep will only ward off some demons while others will rear their ugly heads. It is a constant battle that rages within me.

_Mommy, please wake up. I am so hungry, please. I nudge her but she doesn't open her eyes. Mommy! Mommy wake up!_

_I am standing behind Beth, her brunette hair braided down her back. I spank her again. God it feels so good to hit her, her backside turning a beautiful shade of pink. I cannot contain my raging hard on. I want her, I want her to take the beating, submit to me._

I bolt upright in bed sweating and breathing heavily. With in a couple of seconds, my mom rushes into my bedroom, flipping on the light and running to my side.

"Oh Christian, are you alright? I heard you scream." She says in a panicked voice.

"Uh…I think so." I respond but that dream was weird. I don't understand it? It was painful and confusing all at the same time.

"It's okay, honey," I'll stay with you for a while." My mom offers and takes my hand.

"Okay," I say and close my eyes once again.

**Time Jump**

I wake up in my bed, in my dorm room here at Harvard. Every time I have that dream I think of my mom coming in and sitting at my bedside the first time it occurred.

I have only been here a couple of weeks but the realization of how far I am from Elena has hit, and hit hard. I am going to have to find some way to bide my time until Thanksgiving, maybe even Christmas before I go home again. What am I going to do?

It's after 9pm and here I sit, in my car, outside the club. I have never been to one without Elena so I'm not sure I can even go inside. Elena knows me, knows what I like. I don't want to be with a stranger. It just seems dirty and wrong. At least I am now 18 and can legally go in because this club does not sell alcohol. It is merely a BDSM club. Unable to fight the demons on my own, I reluctantly get out of my car and enter through the unmarked black door.

Once inside, a woman in a short black dress with tall black shiny boots approaches me.

"Hello," She says looking down on me. "How can I help you?"

"I just wanted to check the place out," I tell her trying to sound sure of myself and confident so she won't turn me away.

"Help yourself, but first you have to sign some paperwork."

She leads me to her office where she gives me a privacy form to fill out. After that is done, she leads me back out of the office and through another door, the door to the playroom.

For the first hour I simply sit along the sideline of the room watching the couples interact. I really wish Elena was here with me. I need her to take away the pain. I feel like it is consuming little by little and there is a dark place waiting to engulf me. Before, Elena had helped me to channel all that negative energy into our sessions which only left room for the positive energy to consume my life. My confidence shot up, my grades were astounding, and I felt empowered for the first time when I arrive here. Now it seems to be slipping away. I have to get that back.

A pretty, petite brunette woman with green eyes sits down next to me, not looking directly at me at first, but then glances over. Her head is lowered and she looks at me through her lashes. I know that look. It's the look I give Elena.

I see it in her eyes, "You want to say something, so…." I say to her.

"I….I haven't seen you here before." She says in a soft tone. "Are you new?"

"Yes." I respond.

She seems nervous and unsure of herself which causes me to have to take control of the conversation. My back stiffens and I look directly at her.

"Do you come here often?" I ask.

"Well, yes until recently. You see, my _partner_ is now in a relationship so he ended ours." She says again looking down at her hands in her lap.

"But you are here now?"

"Yes, I am looking for a new Dom."

I can't stop myself from asking, "What did he do to you?"

"That depends." She says.

"On what?" I ask.

"On what you want to do to me," she says.

I am confused. Can't she see that I am a sub too? Where would she get the impression that I am a Dom? I'm just sitting here. But as I continue to look at her images pop into my head, the dream about Beth.

"My name is Andrea. Madam Selena pointed you out to me since she knows I need a Dom. She said that she thought we would be good for one another."

I look across the room at the tall blond woman whom I had met when I first walked in. She was looking down her nose at me while tapping a riding crop on her palm. She was a lot like Elena, the type of woman that you didn't mess with, didn't question.

She must have seen my apprehension because she strode over to where we were sitting, each step strong, authoritative.

"Christian, Andrea, come with me." She takes us to a private room. Then she hands Andrea an outfit from a closet and says, "Go into the bathroom and change."

Then she pulls something else out of the closet. It's a suit coat. I am in jeans and a button up shirt. She hands it to me and says, "Put it on."

I do. Then she tells me to do sit behind the desk. I hadn't realized it when we first walked in but the room is set up like a school room right out of high school. There is a teacher's desk and a couple of student desks. One wall has a chalkboard and another has a huge write and wipe board. All the décor is exactly like it would be in a history class. Maps on the walls, presidents' pictures, even the office supplies on the teacher's desk.

Andrea walks out with her eyes averted to the floor, twisting her fingers of her clasped hands. _Holy shit!_ She is in a short white collared top with three buttons that look like they are about to pop under the strain of her volumptuous breasts. She is also wearing a very short red, white, and green skirt with suspender straps that come over her shoulders. She is in knee high white socks with bows at the top and Mary Jane pattened leather shoes. Her hair is still down however.

Madam Selena notices my concern and says, "Mr. Grey, apparently Andrea has done something to make you look at her with little appreciation. What has she done wrong,_ sir_?"

"Her hair," I say to Madam Selena.

"Don't tell me, tell her. You are the teacher and she had the audacity to come into class like that," she points with her crop.

As I stare at Andrea I think, _how does Madam Selena not see it,_ and I snap.

"Andrea, come here." I say…._wait is that my voice? I sound so teacher-like._

Andrea, keeping her head bowed, slowly walks up to me.

"Turn around." I demand and she does. I immediately begin to part her hair and braid it. Once done, I yank on it causing her head to tilt back.

"Mr. Grey, sir, I believe that the punishment for that is a spanking," Madam Selena offers from her position near the corner.

Without even acknowledging her, I let do of Andrea and glance at the desk. There, right on top, is a flexible plastic ruler. I grab it and demand, "Andrea, go lean over the desk." I use the ruler to point to one of the two student desks.

"Yes Sir," she says softly.

When she bends over it, her back to me, her braid runs right down the center of her half covered, half exposed back. Her legs are straight, she is bent at the waist, and her hands are on the chair back. Her skirt is so short that when she bends over, some of her back side is exposed as well. Her legs are spread just enough that I can see right between them.

I go up to her and push the shirt up more to get full access to her round cheeks. I run my hands over them, kneading them with my fingers of one hand.

"Why are you being punished?" I ask her.

"For not braiding my hair sir," she replies.

"That's right. Don't let it happen again." I warn.

My hand tightens around the ruler and I bring it down hard across one pale cheek. _Yes, God that felt good. This is my classroom. I am the one who makes the rules here. I am the one in control!_

I smack her seven more times for a total of eight. When I am done, I drop the ruler and knead the pink streaked flesh.

"She didn't safeword, are you satisfied with her punishment?" Madam Selena asks.

I stare down at her thinking….wondering when Madam Selena comes up behind me taking the ruler in her hand first before slipping it into mine.

She whispers in my ear, "I think she might need more incentive to keep from disobeying your classroom orders."

I turn my head slightly toward the voice.

"It's okay, I know her limits and she will safeword if need be. Now, Andrea," she orders, "Clear off your techer's desk."

Andrea quickly moves to follow the order and when done turns back to us. Madam Selena is still behind me, whispering.

Like a robot, I repeat her words as if they are my own, "Lay on the desk with your legs up, heels on the edge, legs spread." She does as told, leaning on her elbows.

_Fuck, what a sight._ Andrea is spread open on my desk with a sad pouty look on her face, "Please sir," She pleads, "I was a naughty girl."

"Smack her clit with the ruler Christian," Madam Selena whispers.

I hesitate for a second but then hit her.

"Ah," she moans.

"_You_ are the teacher, Mr. Grey, so act like it!" Madam Selena says angrily.

I smack her again and again, over her clit, on her thighs, and right over her sex. She grimaces, her body trembling.

Madam Selena sees me reach dwon to adjust myself from my straining hard on and whispers, "Now finish it, Mr. Grey!"

I tear open my jeans and pull down my clothes. I settle myself between her legs, grab the offered condom rom Madam Selena, then grab her hips to yank her toward me. I thrust my hips forward, slamming into her soaking center._ Damn, I need to fuck her, make her understand that her behavior will not be tolerated._

"Ah, sir, please…." She begs.

"Come!" I demand as I am close to the edge myself.

I lose it completely as her muscles tighten around my cock and her thighs constrict. I bury myself deep inside her, releasing not only my seed but all of that negative energy that had been building up inside me. All the rage and anxiety pours out of me.

I grasp the desk panting hard. Andrea's head is thrown back and she is breathing heavily too.

"Well now, I think this arrangement is going to work out just fine," Madam Selena says.

I take off the condom and throw it in the trash before pulling my pants up. I am still in awe. _What the fuck just happened?_

I glance at Madam Selena who is smirking at me. She looks rather pleased with herself actually. "Seeing as this is your first time together, why don't we stop there for tonight."

Andrea makes her way to the bathroom while I just stand there stunned silent.

Madam Selena comes up to me, "You are surprised? Don't be. You have it in you. Find it. Use it." She says and then leaves me standing there alone in the room.

Andrea comes out looking so different. "I had fun Christian." She says but the sub in her is gone. "I would like to see you again. Would you consider being my Dom? I can tell you are new to all this but I'm not so why don't I e-mail you my limits and we can discuss what we want to explore?"

"Okay," I say, unable to find any other words to speak.

She smiles and takes out her phone. I give her my details and then we walk out of the room. I had never thought of being a Dom but that was so gratifying to be so in control of her and to beat her, that little brown haired girl.

**Let me know what you think about the jump ahead. I was kind of done with high school. Will Christian embrace his inner Dom? What will happen when he goes home to Elena? Thanks for reading!**


	29. Control 29 Decisions

**First of all, let me apologize for all the grammatical errors in chapter 28 and there were a lot. I just wrote it and published it without checking it over. Note: I put Christian at 28 years old in 2012 so it is 2002 when he is 18 and in college although some of the electronics like iphones and that were not yet what they are now. Oh well, it's fiction so I am just going with it.**

I don't know how long I have been sitting in my car outside the club reliving the last couple of hours in my mind. It still kind of seems like a dream that it even happened. I was the Dom. I am still trying to process what I think about that. It was such a rush but I am not sure the Madam Selena is right, that I am ready to be a Dom?

Thinking back to my times in the playroom with Elena, I needed her to take away my pain by causing me pain. I needed to be punished for being bad. But hitting that little brown haired girl gave me a sense of redemption. She defied me, caused me emotional pain by her carelessness to come out with her hair down when something inside me demanded that she have it braided. So I had to beat her. I had to get rid of my pain by inflicting it on her. _Damn, it was so intoxicating._

As the days pass by and I work hard at school, I keep thinking about that night at the club. Andrea has e-mailed me a couple of times but I haven't responded. I wonder if she found a new Dom yet?

_From: Andrea Malone_

_To: Christian Grey_

_Sent: October 9, 2002 6:30 PM_

_Subject: Response…._

Seeing as I have not yet received a response from you, I am curious to know if you have decided _not_ to continue our sessions? Please let me know if that is the case and I will not try to contact you again. I have been in the lifestyle for a couple of years now so I have some experience to bring to the table so if you want to explore more I would be happy to do that with you. For what it's worth, I did have a great time with you.

Sincerely,

Andrea

Wow, as nervous as I was and being coached by Madam Selena, she still had a good time? In all honesty, I did too. But I just don't know if I am ready to take that leap. From what I read online, most subs always stay subs, they do not switch to the Dom role. So what did Madam Selena and Andrea see that I don't?

_From: Christian Grey_

_To: Andrea Malone_

_Sent: October 12, 2002 12:47 PM_

_Subject: Re: Response_

I apologize for not returning your e-mails. As you could tell my experience as a Dom is non-existent so I have yet to determine if it is right for me. I will let you know one way or the other soon.

Christian Grey

For a week I check to see if Andrea has replied to my e-mail but there is nothing in my inbox from her. Are we done? Did she not want to wait on my decision?

I am thinking about her as I walk past the shops looking for some clothes. I see the Gap and wander in. I like the style of their clothes. I am looking at some jeans when the sales woman comes up behind me.

"Can I help you with something, sir?" She says and I turn immediately to see Andrea standing there in a long sleeve top with a sleeveless vest and a jean skirt and heels. _Her hair is braided!_

My spine straightens and I stand firm. Something about the way she said _sir_ takes me back to our night in the club. I grab a couple pairs of jeans off the rack and a couple thermal shirts, handing them to her.

"I'll take these," I say having suddenly found my voice and an overwhelming need for control.

"Of course, sir," she nods.

But I see it in her eyes as she runs the register and glances at me, that knowing look. She knows that she is tempting me but I am confused and I don't like it. _Pull yourself together Christian._ But how can I do that?

Thoughts of grabbing her by that braid, yanking her to her knees, and proving to myself that I can control myself, physically and mentally make the words tumble from my lips.

"The club, tonight?" I say in a low voice to not attract attention.

"Yes sir," she replies with a slight smile.

I take a deep breath and grab my bag to leave the store. I rush home and get ready since it is Friday night I don't need to worry about school.

I get online and start researching about the Dom/Sub relationship. There is a fine line between dominating someone and just belittling them. I want to be in control of her but not degrade her. I am at the computer until it is time to leave.

**Andrea's POV**

When Madam Selena first approached me about the young man sitting alone taking in everything that was going on in the club that night, I was a bit taken back. He was very handsome and had a hot body but he was just sitting there by himself.

"You need a new Dom and l think he could be it." She said.

"But he looks rather uncomfortable." I told her.

"Yes, he is obviously new to the scene but I get the feeling that there is so much more to him." She told me. "At first he might need some guidance but I do believe he has what it takes. Are you up for the challenge?"

I stare at him from across the room wondering what he is thinking. My previous Dom was experienced and of course we had a contract stating our limits. But I do not know this man at all and he doesn't know me.

"I'll do it but…." I start to say.

"Don't worry Andrea, I will over see your first meeting. Then if it works out, you tow can arrange something further." She said.

"Ok."

As I walk over to him, I go into full sub mode. It is so nice to be able to forget about grad school for a few hours. I am ready to have some fun. I like being the little love slave because it makes me feel sexy and special. The attention I am given is such a rush.

Though our first meeting was not as intense as I have had before, he did rather well. The way his tone of voice changed when he took over the scene had me near orgasm. Yes, I could definitely get use to him being my Dom.

I have sent him two e-mails that he has not yet replied to so I am getting worried that he has decided against a contract with me? If he doesn't respond to me next one then I will have to find someone else which is rather a sad thought. But Madam Selena has quite a few clients and she can hook me up with a number of men if I ask so I will try one more time and then move on.

Yes, finally an e-mail from him in my inbox! Awe, he seems nervous about it all. Well, he can't be more than what, 18 or 19 years old so that is understandable. But I am getting tired of waiting around for him. I can't wait much longer.

OMG, there he is! He is in my store. I will have to subtly remind him of what we had that night at the club. When he sees me I can instantly tell that he is thinking of that night. So I guess I will play it up a little and see what happens.

"But of course, _sir," _I say emphasizing the last word.

Immediately his eyes glisten from the way I spoke to him. I know he is considering it, us.

"The club, tonight?" He states.

"Yes sir," I respond as the ever-obedient sub. He walks out and all I can think is, _I want him to dominate me…._


	30. Control 30 Starting Something New

Andrea texts me and asks if we can meet up at the little coffee shop near her work since she gets off at 6:00pm. I wonder what she wants to talk about. Maybe she changed her mind about us? I hope not. Now that I have thought about it more, I really liked beating her while her silky brown braid trailed down the center of her back. I don't know why I am so fond of brunettes but they just seem to tap into something deep inside of me, something I can't put my finger on.

As I head to meet Andrea at the coffee shop, I am trying to mentally prepare myself for tonight. My times with Elena are like a continuous video playing out in my head. She was very dominating and I need to be with Andrea like Elena was with me. She is my sub so she will want me to make her wait. She will want me to punish her for being a bad girl.

Since my time with Elena, I have come to be in control of the other aspects of my life better. When I need to study, I study. When I need to go somewhere or do something, I do it. This Andrea thing is no different. I have to have that determination and the confidence to do it. As I think about Elena's mannerisms, my back straightens while I walk. My voice must be assertive and I will need to do things to Andrea that I am not unsure of. I won't do anything that might make me second-guess myself.

"Hello, Christian," Andrea says from her seat at the table, looking up at me through her lashes.

_Damn, that's right baby I am the man. Let's do this!_

My eyes are dark, my chin up, and my movements as I pull the chair out and sit down are very calculated. I am acutely aware of every muscle in my body, every movement from my legs to my arms, even each finger that I move.

"Andrea," I nod mimicking my dad's business-like voice he uses when he is talking to clients.

Softly she says, "What would sir like to drink?"

"I'll get it," I respond, "You sit right here."

While I go order my coffee and wait for it I practice my tone of voice and strong demeanor with the barista, "Café Americano," I state.

"Yes sir, coming right up," she smiles flirtingly with me. She blushes and says, "That will be $4.55."

I pull out my wallet and hand her the money. Then I stride to the end of the counter to wait. It doesn't take long and I am back at the table.

Andrea is sitting there with her hands in her lap. She looks like she wants to say something to me but remains silent.

Again, I imagine my dad behind his desk at work and some of the professors that I see everyday in school, how they stand, how they sit, and the direct steady gaze they give those around them. I let it all sink into my mind and body.

"What is it, Andrea?" I ask her keeping my tone low and my expression stoic like that of an unamused principal.

"I was wondering if you would like to talk about our limits, and, you know, get that out of the way?" She says, looking timidly at me.

As long as she is staying in her role, I will stay in mine, "Yes, lets discuss it," I state.

Andrea bends over to her bag and pulls out a folder. Inside is a stack of papers with all sorts of things listed and numbers next to them to rate a score of 1-5 least favorite to favorite.

From reading online, I found that everything should be put out there on the table in the beginning so that trust can be established. She has to trust that I won't do something she doesn't agree with and I have to trust that she will safe word if she needs to. Communication seems to be the key here. We have to communicate with one another so we both get what we want from the relationship.

Immediately, I am overwhelmed by the paperwork I am reading. First, it talks about beatings. I never knew it was so precise. The list goes on and on about beating with a cane, crop, paddle, whip, strap, hand, and flogger. Then it goes into where like, back, bottom, genitals, chest, arms, legs, etc.

Then it goes into marks whether temporary or permanent to the body in conjunction with biting, hot wax, scratching, ice, needles, etc.

The next section talks about toys: dildos, vibrators, beads, clamps, speculums, bullets (eggs or Ben-Wa balls), plugs, etc, and where to use them.

The bondage section is a bit intimidating. Thank fuck she has restricted breathing masks as a hard limit. I don't think I could do that anyway. That is going a bit far for my liking. But she does like gags, blindfolds, and being tied up, just not upside down or spun around. Fine with me.

There is a section on activities regarding role playing, forced orders, denial, and different forms of penetration like oral and anal.

The pain section is all about whether it is light or hard. Whether the Dom forces certain acts like hair pulling while doing oral or tearing clothes rather than just taking them off and other sorts of rough play.

As I continue to read all this stuff, my authoritative expression must be weaning and my insecurity coming out because Andrea is looking at me curiously.

What do I say? Half of this stuff I am not even familiar with so I have no idea what to say about it? She has went as far as to circle what she is in favor of and what she is not. Thank fuck for that! At least that gives me an idea of what to do to her so I am not simply guessing with my limited knowledge.

"Sir, if I may…." She asks.

"You may," I respond. Hearing her call me sir helps me to stay in my role, keeps it at the forefront of my mind.

"I know there is a lot of information in there to process so that copy is for you for a reference, sir." She tells me.

Good, because I will definitely need to memorize the contents in order to do this stuff. Hell, I might need to search the web to figure out what some of it entails.

From just what I have read so far, Andrea does like a decent amount of pain and being beaten with certain objects. That sounds right up my alley. I really liked spanking her and would love to use a strap on her round little ass.

I am grateful that she does not like permanent marks or scars because I just don't agree with that. A woman's body should be smooth and unmarred, soft, clean, and pale, at least until I beat her to a nice cherry color.

She does like a certain sort of sex slave attention where her Dom makes her sit at his feet and heavy role play involving her being the little bad girl. I think that personally, the role play would help ease the tension in the beginning. That way I can start by acting and work up to doing my own thing later on.

"Sir?" She questions when I am quiet for a while reading over the checklist.

"Like the business men I have seen on the TV looking over a merger, I set down the folder and say, "I think this is sufficient."

"Is there something sir sees that he is interested in starting with?" She asks.

"Role play," I pause, "For a while until things are more comfortable between us."

"Yes sir."

Her eyes sparkle with excitement and she gives me a knowing smile of acceptance. We finish our coffee and it is now almost 8pm so we head out of the coffee shop.

I am nervous yet the rush is getting to do some of these things tonight, with her, has me already getting hard. Having her hair braided, her big green eyes looking up at me as I stand over her makes me feel like the man of the hour, ready to take the world by storm. _Control yourself Christian_, my inner voice demands, _don't loose it now just because you are horny as hell!_

When we arrive at the club, Madam Selena greets us, "Well, well, it is nice to see you both again. It's been a while. Is there anything particular you are looking for tonight?"

I look at Andrea who remains quiet with her hands at her sides and eyes lowered silently giving me the lead as her Dom. I take a deep breath and say, "A role play room."

Madam Selena leads us to a door and inside is the setting of an office though there are two desks inside. The one in the far corner has a divider screen making it appear separate from the large masculine office. The other side of the screen is painted like the outer office where a secretary would sit.

"There are some clothes in the closet if you need them and instruments in the boss' desk drawers." Madam Selena states.

I nod and she quietly leaves the room. Andrea is digging in her bag and pulls out a couple articles of clothing. Of course, the clothes offered in the closet are clean and laundered, I am sure we would both prefer our own so I will have to go shopping accordingly.

Andrea comes up to me, "I know this is intense for you," she drops the sub role, "You can do whatever was on the checklist that I agreed to if you are comfortable with it. is there anything I should know specifically about you?"

I give her a stern, dark look instinctively as I fight my demons and say, "I don't like to be touched."

"Where?" She asks curiously.

"Anywhere that my shirt is covering, front, back, all of it."

She tilts her head contemplating what I just said and how I said it as if she is analyzing me, then says, "Okay," and heads off to the bathroom.

I go to the wall behind the desk and run my fingers over the various straps, canes, and other beating instruments hanging there on the hook imagining all the things I could do to that little brown haired girl with the vibrant green eyes.

When she comes out again she is wearing a pencil shirt, blouse, and suit coat with heels. Her hair is still down, _ooh, she is purposefully asking for it!_

She looks at me confused that I am standing there unchanged for my role as business man about to have his secretary submit to him.

I smile wickedly, "I'm the boss so for me it's casual Friday."

And then it begins….


	31. Control 31 Confusion vs Clarity

At nineteen years old, I can't believe I am considering this, _leaving_ Harvard. But lately in school, I have been finding the loopholes that my professors do not even see in their business strategies so what the fuck am I doing here if they can't teach me anything I don't already know? With the way they talk about running a business, I'd have them bought out in no time. They would not stand a chance against me. So why am I here? I only have a week left and then I go home for summer break. The question is, do I come back in the fall?

Aside from that, there is my frustration regarding my lifestyle. I always thought that Elena needed to punish me and take away my pain, that deep seeded pain that stems from my past. That same pain that wakes me up every night when the lights go out and the nightmares consume me. Being with her over my breaks from school just isn't the same now that I am learning the Dom role.

My time with Andrea has changed me; even my parents have mentioned on occasion that I seem to be doing quite well. They are amazed at the _new_ Christian Grey, the confident man with drive and ambitions.

The pain still goes away with me dominating Andrea. I don't exactly know what it is that is compelling me to continue with being a Dom to her except that by beating her and delaying her gratification, that little brown haired girl gives me a sense of satisfaction. I feel overwhelmingly justified in what I do to her.

That woman has no control over me. She cannot tell me what to do or where to go or anything. I am the one who makes the rules and carries out the punishments, no one else but me. On some level it's euphoric.

However, I can't seem to quite comparing the two very different roles I am playing and which one is right? I have known Elena a long time and I trust her. She would know what's right for me, wouldn't she?

The confusion with in me is just too much pressure and I am struggling with it, which is causing me to be anxious. That does not help me at all when having to turn around and deal with the nonsense from my professors. I just need to get out, get away. I know I have the ability to prove to them that I can succeed if I can just get started.

Before drowning in my own thoughts, I grab my quickly and text Andrea.

_Go to the club tonight. _

_Ok._

_I'll see you there._

**Meanwhile, at the Grey residence….**

"Christian has been doing quite well in school," Grace says at the table.

Elliot had just arrived home himself and was sitting down to dinner with Mia and his parents. He had never forgotten about his brother's tumultuous relationship with Elena Lincoln. In fact, he knew that when Christian was home on break that he would go over there but Elliot forced himself to stay out of it.

After hearing his parents talk and seeing the drastic changes in his brother when they were both home, Elliot was concerned. Elena was far away so was being away from her helping his brother? Christian seemed much more in control of his emotions and everything around him. The way he now walked into a room and dominated it with his presence was quite a change from the insecure little brother that Elliot once knew.

Just like his parents, he was happy that Christian seemed to have gotten better but yet, something in the way Christian appeared was disconcerting. His younger brother was more rigid in his mannerisms that Elliot quickly picked up on but also his focus. It was so much more intense than ever before so Elliot concerned that his brother was going from one extreme to the other, which was not good either.

"Mom, dad, why don't you let me go get Christian from school. That way you don't have to take time off to fly there. I am not doing anything anyway so it makes sense." Elliot offered.

"Oh Elliot, that is a wonderful idea," Grace says excitedly.

"I agree," Carrick states, " That will also give you two some time to catch up."

"I want to go," Mia chimes in.

"You young lady have two weeks of school left and no, you are not flying across the U.S. without us." Carrick states.

Mia finishes her dinner with a pouty expression. She and Christian have always been close and she missed him terribly while he was at school.

"Elliot, I will make the arrangements." Carrick states.

"Great, I wouldn't mind going and spending time with him during his last few days." Elliot says.

**Back to Harvard….**

What an amazing session! I feel so much more relaxed and clearer now. Having Andrea bent over and beating her with the cane was so invigorating. She never safe worded, not once. She likes to scream and I like to hear it. Each and every time the cane hit her pale skin leaving a red welt in its wake, made me harder and harder. What a sight to see her bent over with her ass sticking out and that silky brown braid trailing down the center of her back. Just thinking about it makes me hard. She deserved to be punished, to take away the pain within me and I gave it good.

It's almost midnight when I walk out of the club and head to my car, only to stop dead in my tracks when I see Elliot leaning against it. _Fuck, what the hell is he doing here, and not just in town but here at the club!_

"Hey little bro," he says but he is not smiling. In fact, he looks quite put out.

"Hey," I respond casually.

"So tell me something?" he says, "is this what has caused the change in you that mom and dad are raving about?"

"I don't know what you mean," I say.

"Sure you do. I mean the whole Elena situation was one thing but this?" Elliot says motioning to the club door. "What the hell?" His voice rises with each word.

"Elliot, why are you here?" I ask.

"I came to take you home so mom and dad would not have to take time off to come out here. I arrived just in time to see you leave the dorm so I followed you. I had no idea that you were coming to places like this." He explained.

I just stared at him, unable to figure out what to say to him. He never understood it before so how can he now?

"Do you have any idea what would happen if mom or dad found out about this?" He asks.

"Well they won't, will they?" I growl back at him.

"Hey, it's not my place to explain it to them," He says and then stands up and steps closer to me, "But just know that one day, this is all going to bite you in the ass and then you _will_ have to explain it and when that time comes I hope I am no where near."

"Elliot, I can't explain what I don't know," I say and sigh running a hand through my hair, "All I can tell you is that this works for me. Look at you, you sleep with everyone and anyone, probably most of Seattle." I bark at him.

"It's different."

"How is it different?" I ask him.

"Because just being a player is one thing but what you do is twisted. It's warped bro."

Obviously, Elliot is one of those closed minded people who do not understand the BDSM world and all it offers. That the people involved know what they are doing and enjoy doing it. This is my life and my choice to have this lifestyle for whatever my reasons. Who is he to say that it is just wrong?

"Oh, and having a different woman every night isn't?" I ask.

Elliot smiles smugly, "I like having a variety."

"I step up to him, "Well so do I."

Elliot just shakes his head and sighs, "Look bro, I don't know what you get out of doing this….this stuff, but it's dangerous."

"I can take care of myself." I respond.

"I've said it before and I will say it again, be careful." He says and walks around to the passenger side of my car.

I guess that conversation is over for now and I couldn't be happier. I know Elliot is just concerned but I know what I am doing, well, once I figure out where I belong in the BDSM world I will know.

In less than a week I am going home and will see Elena again so maybe that will give me some clarity. I do however know for a fact that I am not coming back to Harvard.


	32. Control 32 Long Awaited Session

"WHAT!" my mom says in a panic-stricken voice. Her expression was horrific. She looked like she had just been slapped in the face, _hard._

"Did you just say you are not returning to Harvard?" My dad says as if in a daze, like maybe he heard me wrong. He didn't.

"Yes," I reply confidently, at least in their eyes, though inside I am a bundle of nerves.

I can tell that my dad is barely able to hold his anger in as he sits across from me on the couch with my mom. She is worse yet, there are tears in her eyes and a look on her face like I have disappointed her terribly. It breaks my heart to cause them grief but if they would just trust me on this I know what I am doing.

I am going to make something of myself even though I won't have a Harvard degree to show off and get me in the door of a company. I am not sure yet how to go about making my future a reality but I will figure it out.

I try to reason with them, "Listen, I didn't feel challenged enough at school. I have learned so much on my own that will help me far more than what those professors were teaching me."

I lean my forearms on my knees and look directly at them, "Please, just give me some time and I will show you that this was the best decision for me, the right decision."

They have calmed down a bit but still look skeptical about trusting the word of a nineteen year old kid.

Later in the week, Elliot comes by the house but he doesn't even speak to me. Mom and dad must have told him about me dropping out of school. Plus, he is still angry with me about the BDSM club he caught me at before I left school.

It tears me up to see him saunter into the house so carefree and happy. He laughs as he sits outside with my parents soaking up the warm sunshine and having a mid afternoon snack. I don't even bother to join them though they did offer. No, I have plans.

Seeing Elena after being away since Christmas will be awkward, especially since I need to figure out what I want. I know that Elena wants to still help me but I wonder if it will be enough now that I have had a taste of the Dom life?

I grab my keys and head out, not bothering to tell them where I am going. Elena texted me to meet her today and of course, I didn't decline.

I am in position when she enters the playroom and comes to stand in front of me. All I can see as I keep my eyes lowered is her red heels.

"I spoke with your mother the other day and she was quite upset about you leaving school." Elena states.

Then she takes one long red fingernail and traces my jawline with it, "You have been a bad boy Christian. For that, you will be punished." She states.

"Yes mistress," I respond.

She takes my hand and leads me over to the cross. I stand there obediently waiting for her to instruct me.

"Arms up," She demands.

I raise them so that she can strap me into the cross.

"Spread your legs."

I do so and she cuffs them in as well.

Then she goes over to make a selection of which instrument she wants to use, but not before grabbing a small leather cock ring with a buckle on it and a blindfold. She blindfolds me first, then she slits the thong right up the sides allowing it to drop to the floor and she puts the ring on me. _Damn, this one is tight!_ I am mortified at myself that I am already so hard I want to explode.

Just walking into the playroom after being away for a few months brings back all those memories and feelings of what she does for me. It's almost like we were never apart as we fall back into the routine so easily.

Strung up on the cross, I don't know what to expect since I cannot see anything so all I can do is wait. That anticipation of what is going to happen always frustrates me to no end.

"Christian, I am going to hit you ten times. You will count each one, understood?" She demands.

"Yes mistress," I reply.

_Whack! _

"One," I say realizing that she is using the riding crop.

_Whack!_

"Two."

_Whack!_

"Three," it is starting to sting.

_Whack!_

"Four," I say, still able to withstand the beating. She is hitting my chest only, so far.

_Whack!_

"Five," Damn, she hits me just above my hip where it is more sensitive.

_Whack!_

"Six," now the other hip.

_Whack!_

"Fuck," I murmur when she hits my inner thigh and the sting is so much worse. I think she hitting me harder too.

"What was that Christian!" She growls as she fists my hair and yanks back on it forcing my head up.

She presses her hand to my cheek running it down from my ear to my chin, then _smack!_

"I told you to count!" she yells at me.

"I'm sorry mistress." I respond.

The last three hits are in quick succession and I count as I was told but she continued to hit my inner thighs and I can sense the red welts that are left behind. My skin burns from where she hit me but I make through all ten.

All the tension of the past couple of weeks and the deep seeded pain I harbor seems to vanish when she beats me. The physical pain taking my mental anguish away, even if it is only temporary.

What I miss from being in the Dom role is the sense of satisfaction I got from beating Andrea. I slipped into a God-like euphoria while being the Dom. I think that helped my confidence level by ten fold. Even though I do not have that now, if I can last through this and not come until she tells me to then I have accomplished something which I hope gives me that same confidence.

Suddenly, the tip of a feather lightly caresses my burning skin, over my chest, down across my stomach, and down further still, all the way to my toes.

I shiver at the contrast from the beating to the soft sensation and my straining cock is throbbing but the ring is still secured in place.

The feather continues to heighten my nerve endings while it glides easily over my skin. Then I feel nothing. It's abruptly gone. I hear nothing accept the click of her heels on the hard floor.

An intense sound penetrates the room. It is some type of classical music flooding the room, my ears. She releases the cuffs to my wrists and ankles and leads me blindly across the room. I feel the chair behind my knees.

"Sit down Christian!" She demands.

"Yes mistress," I respond as I sit.

I know this chair. Its location in the room is just in front of a bar that looks like the kind that ballet dancers use. This is one of Elena's favorite positions. She can straddle me facing away from me and grab the heavy mounted bar that gives her leverage to ride me.

"Good boy," she says after I obey her instructions. Then she cuffs my wrists to the arms of the chair. "Now then, this is for _my _pleasure, not yours. You _will not _come. Is that understood?" She says.

"Yes mistress."

"Good." She says and I can feel her moving over my lap. She is careful and mindful of my chest and leans forward so she does not touch it with her back. Instruments are one thing but skin on skin, I can't handle that.

"Can you feel it, Christian? How wet I am." She says sinking down on me.

"Oh yes, mistress," I breathlessly respond feeling her tight walls enveloping me.

She moves slowly, too slowly, she is taking her time and lifting herself nearly off of me completely before sliding back down. _Fuck! It feels so good inside her hot center. I am so ready to come!_

I didn't know it until I felt the sting of the riding crop against my thigh again, that she even had it in her hand. _Shit, that hurts!_

As she increases her speed a little, impaling herself on my cock, she slaps me harder….and harder….with the crop. The mixture of the pain to my thighs and the throbbing of my cock embedded within her are absolutely blowing my mind. It's almost a state of delirium with my nerves not knowing which sensation to focus on. The ring on my cock feels so much tighter now, way too tight!

"You like it when I fuck you don't you Christian?" She demands, "When I beat your flesh till its raw and red?"

"Yes, Fuck yes, mistress," I pant.

She slows again almost to a stop, raising and lowering herself on me.

Then she demands, "Say it Christian! Beg me or I will stop!"

My mind is numb but I love the painfully pleasurable sensations racking my entire body, "Please mistress! Fuck me faster…..beat me harder."

She speeds up alternating from riding me and hitting me hard with the rubber tip of the crop. I am so swollen with need but can't release it and it's driving me mad.

"Mistress please," start to sob, "Please let me come!"

Abruptly, she stops all of it. She gets off me and releases me from the cuffs. I am so wanton, panting harshly. I just need to come, the throbbing too painful to withstand.

She leads me over to a stool and sits down on it. I kneel on the floor and she spreads her legs wide open, "No hands Christian, use only your mouth." She instructs.

"Mistress, I….I need…." I start to protest desperately needing the cock ring off, now!

But I spoke out of turn and she slaps me on my cheek, "I did not give you permission to speak. Do as you are told! Be a good boy now Christian. Give me a reason to allow you to come."

My mouth finds her clit; I lick and suck eagerly while she fists my hair pulling me toward her.

"Oh yes, such a good boy," she moans. I can tell by her throaty tone that I am making her feel very good right now.

_You can do this Christian, _my inner voice tells me. _Just a little longer and she will let you come, control yourself!_

"That's enough," she says. She gets up and leads me to the bed, releases the cock ring and lays down flat on her back with her backside just off the edge, legs bent. I get into position between her legs and grab her thighs in my hands.

"Fuck me Christian. I want to hear you moan." She demands.

She doesn't have to tell me twice as I thrust into her deep and hard. I am sweating already and I just got started but I can't help it I need to come yet she has not given me permission.

"Hah….hah….hah….mmh…." I grunt and pant as I pound into her the way she likes it.

"Oh baby, yes…." She moans. "Come for me baby."

I thrust three more times in quick successions and groan, "Fuck….ahhhh!" As I explode inside her. My body trembling from the intensity as I hold myself buried deep inside her feeling her muscles tighten around me and she comes along with me.

"Such a good boy," she breaths as our bodies start to relax into that sated state.

After our session we go upstairs and sit on the patio while she smokes a cigarette, the only one she has which is always after sex.

Now I am more confused as ever about my role in the BDSM lifestyle. I do feel so much better after having her beat the pain out of me, yet there is that small bitter taste of feeling unsatisfied that leaves me dumfounded. Nevertheless, the session did ease my frustration with my self and my family that I had been harboring since coming home.


	33. Control 33 Mind Play

**Thank you to all my readers who are enjoying this story. Since I don't want to drag it out forever, I am trying to wrap it up but it will take a few more chapters to do that so continue to enjoy and review please, thanks again.**

I can't help but glance at Elena in her elegant gown with her platinum hair swept up at the back of her head. She is a vision to behold in her pink sequence dress that displays her fine curves all the way to the floor. The back is practically non-existent exposing her beautifully tanned skin down to her lower back. There is a slit on either side going just above her knees. I know she had her make up done by a professional as well as her hair, Linc requires it when attending events such as this fundraiser. That doesn't matter though; all that matters is that she looks even more radiant than any princess at a ball.

The only downside to seeing her in all her elegant glory is the fact that Linc is with her, close to her. He is a shrewd man and I hate to think of them together in an intimate sort of way but I cannot help it when I see them together and it makes my blood boil. I don't like that he mistreats her she doesn't deserve that. She deserves to be pampered and worshipped by the man who is lucky enough to have her. Linc obviously does not realize that.

During the fundraiser, whenever we have a chance we exchange glances and the corner of her mouth raises slightly in acknowledgment that she is thinking about me just as much as I am thinking of her, the playroom, and all the things we could be doing in there.

Since coming back home at the beginning of summer, Elena and I have slipped back into our usual routine in the playroom, which has been fine except for the fact that I miss having the control I had when I played the Dom. Both roles each have something to offer but in different ways. As Elena's sub I have learned to control myself, my actions, my emotions, and keep a clear head but as the Dom, I had power to control _everything,_ especially the pain and pleasure I gave to my little brown haired girl. I took out my pain, frustration, and anger on her and liked doing it. But when I think back now, all I hear is Elena's voice in my head.

**Reflection**

"Elena, what do you think about me…..switching…..you know, be a Dom. Try it out?" I say to her as we sit on the patio. She came over to see my mom but my mom had to go get Mia who was staying at a friend's house so Elena decided to stay and wait.

"Christian, I don't know if that is a good idea." She replies, though is can feel the apprehension in the air around us.

"I'm curious," I shrug as she sits and sips her tea. I hope she can't see through my nervousness because I don't want her angry with me.

"Christian," she says softly, "Don't I give you what you need? Haven't I always given you what you need?" She asks.

"Yes, yes you have. I was just thinking…." I respond.

Her chin goes up and she takes a deep breath, the true Dom in her coming to the surface. I can see it in her eyes and hear it in her tone of voice.

"What I see when you come to me is a man who just needs to let go and forget everything, give up everything for a while and let someone else worry about what to do and how to do it. As a Dom you do not get that opportunity." She says and puts her hand on my thigh.

Then she smiles warmly at me, "I take away all that pain that you so desperately _need_ to get rid of. Look how well you have done since we started our sessions. I truly believe that you will not get that relief you feel from what I do to you if you switched."

She is right, though I have started to wonder if I am a sadist, maybe I am just a masochist. I trust Elena's judgment above all else because she knows what she is talking about. She knows me better than I know myself.

**End of reflection**

As I watch her interact with Linc, she seems so unlike her dominant self that I am use to. It's always that way when he is around. Her downcast eyes, soft voice, and never speaking out of turn is such a submissive way to act. It's like Jekyll and Hyde between this Elena and the one who beats me in the playroom.

At one point during the night, my parents and Linc are walking around mingling with other guests while Elliot and his date have disappeared, probably to go fuck in some secluded spot somewhere on the grounds of the huge gold club. That leaves Elena and I at the table together.

She leans forward and it looks like her succulent breasts are going to fall out of the low V cut dress, how they don't I will never know.

"Christian," she says quietly, seductively from across the table as her hands twist in the cloth napkin, "I want to put this over your eyes, blindfold you, bend you over this table and spank you. Then suck on you until just before you come and stop. Force you to your knees and raise my dress to show you that I have no panties on and pull your mouth to my clit by your hair."

I shift in my chair, suddenly very uncomfortable, _fuck; just her words and tone make me so hard!_

"I would straddle you facing away from you and ride you until you beg me to let you come." She continues.

_Shit, I can't take her talking like this! _Imagining each and everything she is saying as if it was really happening. Knowing that I cannot touch her and she cannot hit me right now where we are is so damn frustrating! I am throbbing!

"Yes mistress," I say through my labored breathing, "I want to come, let me come, _please_."

"Go to the bathroom and think about what I just said. _Come for me."_

I give her a shocked look. I was not expecting that she would say something like that. _Really, here and now?_

"Do it, Christian." She demands her eyes are fierce and unyielding.

About that time, my parents return and immediately my mom and Elena strike up a conversation. That is my cue to excuse myself from the table and do what she ordered.

I go into a stall in the bathroom and lean against the wall in the small space. If I close my eyes, I can visualize being bent over that very table with the white cloth cover, wine glasses and dishes scattering as I clear them. With my suit pants down around my ankles she uses her hand and the sound of the smack of skin on skin echoes in my mind. I release my hard cock from the confines of my pants and begin to stoke in earnest. Then to feel her hot mouth on me, _fuck! _ I can just imagine her taking all of me in her mouth. Better yet is having her dress pushed up to her waist and her silky wet center exposed. _No panties, wow!_ I can taste her juices on my tongue.

I stoke faster…..and faster…..gritting my teeth to stifle the groans wanting to erupt in my throat so no one hears me and realizes what I am actually doing in here.

I lean my head back against the wall. I can almost feel my hands on her hips as she rides me, impaling herself on my cock over and over again, harder each time, faster….

It is so difficult to be in the bathroom and control my urge to groan or show any sign of what I am doing in here if anyone comes in. I have to be especially quiet with my breathing and my movements. My stomach and thighs clench and my balls tighten up I am so close. _I want to come, please mistress, let me come,_ I say in my mind as the urge becomes climactic. _Come for me, come for me, come for me, _I hear her voice echoing through my mind as I lean forward and explode, my own fluids coating my hand.

I wait a moment for my breathing to calm down and clean my self up before heading back out to the table. I have to appear that I have myself together so that nobody suspects anything out of the ordinary. As I get closer to my seat, I see that my parents and Linc are back and involved in quite a discussion with someone standing talking with them.

I take my seat quietly and immediately gulp down some water. Elena smirks at me when I glance at her. She knows. She is happy. I can almost hear her say "Good boy," to me for obeying her orders. Now I know she was right, that all I need is what she gives me. I do feel better, calmer now. Yes, Elena always knows what is best.


	34. Control 34 The Storm

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, just borrowing from EL James, the author of Fifty Shades of Grey. To recap: Christian became Elena's sub at 15 years old and it helped him to learn control. When he went to college, he got a taste of being a Dom and now wonders which is the best role for him. He has quit college and he and Elena have picked up where they left off. Unfortunately, Christian is now more confused than ever. Will something give him clarity? Will he find his true place within the BDSM lifestyle? **

Elena and I have slipped quite easily back into our relationship as it was before I went to college, though it is not the same for me, not totally. Sure she is helping me, she always does, but that sense of euphoria and the confidence that I was feeling when I first came home a year ago is weaning.

Because of that, I have been slacking off lately with acquiring my ultimate goal: to be successful, to show everyone that I can do it.

Over the past year, I have consumed myself with learning everything and anything I can about the business world. I have watched stocks, companies that have been bought and sold, and most importantly why they were bought and sold.

Every day it is the same routine. I get my coffee and sit down at the computer to check out what is going on with Wall Street and businesses around the world.

I have been looking into the total price of companies because the market cap is a good way to decide if I would be overpaying if I bought a company. I need to know their profit and stock numbers to determine how well they are doing. I look closely at the stocks to see which ones are reducing the number of outstanding shares and the long-term investment if I would buy into a company. Do I want to be invested in a company long term? There are many risks involved with sinking a ton of money into a company and I cannot do it on a whim. I need to be sure that I want that company. If I am too hasty only looking at price and profit I could make a huge mistake.

The way the company is run is hugely important too. If the wrong people are in charge they could sink the company with their poor decisions. An outstanding management team is the key. Which means that I have to be vigilant in finding out all that I can about the people who will make or break a company.

I have been going with my parents to as many functions as possible where I can keep my ears open to hear other investors and business heads talk. They tend to whisper in one another's ears about the company in question and I am the fly on the wall taking it all in.

I only have one glitch to the entire plan and that is the fact that I have no money. I mean I have money but not the kind I need to really get going. I may have to get a job to acquire the amount of money I need as well as talk to investors.

Right now however, I am taking a break because my phone is ringing and there is no way I would keep Elena waiting.

"Hi Christian," She says.

"Hi," I respond.

"I still haven't given you your birthday present so we should get together this week." She says.

"Uh, sure. When is a good time for you," I say a bit hesitantly.

"How about Thursday night? Linc will be out of town so we will have plenty of time to spend together."

"Well, uh, I think that will work. I'll text you for sure later today." I say trying to keep my voice light though I feel like she can see right through me.

"Christian, is something wrong? You want to play don't you?" she says curiously.

"Yes, yes I do. I will be there." I confirm, not wanting to upset her in any way. She would absolutely kill me if she knew that I was already scheduled to meet a sub at the club she once took me to. This would be the first time since Andrea but I really can't wait any longer. I have to do this. Maybe I can switch the nights. The club will find me a suitable partner based on my recommendations so I don't have to worry about that.

"Okay?" Elena says but he tone sounds suspicious.

"So I will see you Thursday." I tell her.

"Bye Christian."

"Bye."

**Christian's call….**

"_Yes Mr. Grey, Wednesday night will work out fine. There is no problem with the change."_

"Thank you for accommodating me." I respond and then hang up.

Here is sit alone in the dining room of my parent's house in the middle of the day with my laptop in front of me but I am about ready to jump out of my skin. If Elena knew about this, she would beat the living shit out of me. I can't tell her. Though I am gaining confidence, slowly but surely, I have none where she is concerned.

**Wednesday Night**

I get to the club and go inside. After having my interview and doing all of the necessary paperwork, I am recognized and am allowed straight on through to the host's office.

"Mr. Grey, how are you?" Mr. Whitfield says holding out his hand. I return the handshake.

"I am fine." I tell him. _My first rule: Don't be intimidated, especially by this man._

Mr. Whitfield is the manager here and he is a Dom. It's not a role, but natural for him and he comes across as a hard man, scar even. His choice of clothing is leather, tight leather pants and shirt. There are a lot of buckle and chains on his outfit. He even wears makeup, thick eye makeup that gives him a dangerous appearance. _I could learn a lot from him, though I want to be myself, Christian Grey the Dom._ If I wanted to pretend to be something I am not, then I would just be hiding. No, _I_ want to be the one to beat my brown haired girls.

"I found you a partner, her name is Tammy. She meets your specifications so I told her to meet you in the billiards room. As you requested, she will be in position and awaiting your orders." He takes a file out and hands it to me to look over. It is Tammy's file. Once I glance through it I nod.

"If everything is a go then, please, enjoy yourself." He says and walks me to the door.

I leave the office and head through the mirage of people who give me strange looks as I walk past with my button up shirt and jeans on. I am the only normally dressed person in the place but that is all part of my image that I want to maintain. _I want to be myself._

"Christian!"

_Oh holy mother of God! Did I just hear that voice? No, it couldn't be, could it?_

I slowly turn around and come eye to eye with none other than Elena Lincoln! She is only a few feet from me and she looks to be alone. She is wearing her signature red suit and heels though which kind of confuses me. _Why is she here and without asking me to come with her?_

Her eyes are wide with surprise as she studies me. Then apparently it dawns on her about why I am here and they narrow angrily.

"What are you doing here?" She demands.

"I….I am just checking things out," I lie.

"Really?" She says and by her tone I know she doesn't believe me.

"Elena…..I just….." I stammer and run my hand through my hair.

Suddenly, her expression changed to a hurtful look and she steps closer so our conversation is not overheard.

"Are you looking for another Dom?" She asks in a soft tone.

"NO, no…..I'm not." I respond quickly.

"Is this about the whole "switching thing" again?" She asks.

"Well…..I….."I cannot lie to her, "Yes." I say meekly.

She takes a deep breath and glares at me, "Have your little fun tonight because tomorrow night, you will be severely punished for this." She says in her ultimate dominating voice. Then she pats me cheek, "I am all you need, baby, don't forget that." She walks away.

I am stunned and more confused than ever. _Damn, _I just don't know what I should do now. _Christian Grey, _I hear Elena's own words in my mind, _pull yourself together! I will not tolerate your lack of control!_ Yes, yes, I will do as I was told! I take a deep breath and determinedly head to the billiards room, a man on a mission.

**Thursday Night**

I arrive at Elena's house just after dark. I know that she has given the staff the night off so we can be alone. I am nervous as hell and trying desperately to stop my shaking body from Elena's intense scrutiny. She said she would punish me for my behavior last night so I know this will be one painful session.

"Hello Christian," Elena says formally when she opens the door. She does not look pleased with me at all.

"Hi," I respond.

She pivots on her heel, "Go get in position." She demands.

"Yes mistress," I say sheepishly.

I do as I am told and wait…..and wait…..She is making me wait on purpose and it seems like forever before she saunters into the playroom in all her glory.

She grabs me by the back of my head and yanks me down onto my knees, "You have been especially bad, Christian. What am I going to do with you?" She says.

Then she retrieves some things and comes over to where I am kneeling with my gaze averted to the floor. She attaches a collar around my neck and in the front is a leather strap that runs right down the center of my chest to my stomach with cuffs on the end. She traps my wrists in the cuffs to restrain me. Then she holds up a ball gag.

_I am so fucked!_ She pulls my gaze to hers by raising my chin with her thumb and forefinger. The look in her eyes is scary. She is pissed at me for last night!

**Elena's point of view**

I cannot believe that Christian went to the club. What is he thinking? He cannot do this to me, to us. He is all that I have to escape the hell I live in day in and day out. I don't want to lose him. I can't lose him! He has no idea how important our relationship is to me. Seeing him there really hurt. And to think, I went there to learn a few new techniques that we could use together, techniques that I know he would really like to try. This sense of betrayal frightens me. I really want to hurt him now, show him that I am all he needs.

**Christian's point of view**

Elena grabs me by my hair and pulls me up, "Ngh," it hurt! Then she slams me down, face first on the table. It is a curved table making my ass stick up in the air for her punishment.

"Christian, what am I punishing you for?" She asks.

"For….for last night, mistress," I say.

"That's right! You were a bad boy and now I will beat you."

Her tone of voice alone has me hard as a rock but I feel insecure with her, unlike last night when I beat Tammy. I don't crave her hitting me like before. I want to be the one to have the power, the one to beat my brown haired girl, punish her for my sins. Those secret sins of my past that I want to punish her for.

Elena holds up the ball and I open my mouth. She secures it tightly with the buckle at the back. She moves behind me and picks her weapon of choice thought I am not allowed to glance and see which on it is that she will use.

"Mmh," I groan around the ball gag when Elena unleashes the whip. I can feel it bite into my flesh. Over and over again she whips me, hard.

_Fuck, she is brutal! I am not sure that I can stand this. _I chant to myself, _give me pain to take mine away. Take my pain away; take my pain away….._It's not working!

Suddenly, the door is thrown open and we both suck in a breath as the silhouette of Linc blocks the outside light. _Holy fuck!_

"I KNEW IT!" he bellows. "I knew you were up to something!" he yells at Elena.

"Linc!" She says but her voice is full of vibrato.

He strides into the room and shoves Elena away from me and I hear her back thud against the wall. Then he yanks me up with the collar and nearly drags me around to face him. He tears the Velcro of the cuffs off and stares at me with murder in his eyes.

"You little fuck! Of all the people I suspected, it was you all along." He growls and grabs the back of my head, turning my face to where Elena is frozen against the wall in utter disbelief.

"_This_ is what you like, huh? This boy is who gets you off, huh?" He addresses Elena.

"Linc please, don't hurt him." She begs.

"Please, my dear, the last person you should worry about being hurt is your little fuck toy." He says with distain dripping from his words.

Linc was supposed to be gone on business and his suit is a bit wrinkled so I wonder if he found out about us suddenly of if he had planned this?

He shoves me down and I barely catch myself with my hands, putting me in the position of all fours. Then he stands directly in front of me and uses his foot to raise my chin.

"Get dressed and get the fuck out of my house, you little bastard!" He growls and folds his arms across his chest.

I hesitate and glance at Elena's tearful expression as she nods that I should do what he says. I get my clothes from the corner of the room where they lay and quickly pull on my jeans over the thong. But before I have a chance to get the rest, he strides over and picks them up, tossing them into my arms.

"Linc," I say.

"Don't you fucking talk to me." He growls.

"What are you going to do?" I ask anyway.

"Just get out. This is none of your concern." He says. "GET OUT!"

I flinch at his outburst and glance at Elena. She mouths the word "go" with a weary look on her face so I reluctantly turn and leave the room. I don't stop until I am outside and panting. I still have my shirt, socks, and shoes in my hands. _What the hell do I do now? Will he hurt her? It's his house there is nothing I can do._


	35. Control 35 Going to the Hospital

I have to take a minute after running out the back door of Elena's house to catch my breath and slow my erratic heartbeat. Then I shove my shirt on before heading a few yards down the road to where I parked my car.

_What the hell just happened? Linc caught us! I don't believe it. What is he going to do to Elena…..to me? How did everything become so _messed_ up? I have never been more fucking scared in my entire life._

I slipped on my shoes after pulling in the driveway at home. There is no way I can go out and do anything with still being freaked out about tonight. When I tell my parents I am going out with my friends, I am meeting Elena. I don't really have many friends except a couple from high school that I see occasionally.

I make my way across the dark yard and go in the house. My mom glances over the back of the couch to see who is coming in when Elliot and I are supposed to be gone for the night.

"Christian? What on earth are you doing home?" She asks me, concerned.

"Oh, uh, I just wasn't interested in what they were doing so….." I lied.

"Ok, well you are welcome to use the TV. It won't bother my reading." She explains.

"That's alright mom." I say and hurry off to my room.

Once I shut the door, I flop on the bed and throw my arm over my eyes. I am so anxious right now that I cannot calm down. This situation is so far out of my limited experience.

_What am I going to do? Does this mean the end of me and Elena's relationship? There is no way Linc will trust her after catching us, especially in the playroom._

"GRACE! Calm down!" My dad shouts and I am startled awake by his shouting. I couldn't have been asleep that long because the nightmare was just starting when I was woken up.

I jump out of bed and swing my door wide to see what is going on with my parents. My dad is standing over my sobbing mom who is frantically looking for her shoes and anything she might need in her bag, but for what?

"Mom, what is going on?" I ask as I watch her pack what looks like an over night bag.

"Son, your mother has to go to the hospital." My dad informs me.

"Why?" I ask seeing how visibly upset she is.

"It's Elena." My dad says quietly.

_What! "_Dad, what is going on," I insist.

"Elena was…..brought in a couple of hours ago." He starts to explain. "She was….pretty badly beaten."

"What!" I snap.

_Oh shit! What did Linc do to her? I have to see her, NOW! What do I do, think Christian, think, _I scold myself.

"Uh dad, mom looks too upset to go anywhere." I say.

"I am taking her," he tells me.

_That's it! _"Dad," I say trying my best to remain calm to not show how anxious I really am. My heart is thudding in my chest and I am scared. I need to see Elena, see for myself just what happened.

"Dad, Mia is already asleep and you are working on a big case, right?"

"Yes, so?" He asks.

"I'll drive mom to the hospital." I blurt out.

"Son, that is thoughtful of you but….."

"Really dad, you are busy and Elena is like family to us. I really want to go too and see how she is." I plead.

"Well," he ponders that thought over in his mind, "Alright, you take her."

I am quick to run from the room and fly down the stairs skipping a few in my wake as I grab my shoes and keys. My mom is right on my heels ready to go.

"Call me when you find out everything," my dad says to my mom as he kisses her forehead, embracing her.

"I will," she says softly.

While I drive I glance over at my mom who is sitting in the passenger seat sniffling as she tries to compose herself. My mom, the doctor, can morph into confident doctor work mode and I have no doubt that she will before we arrive.

"Christian, park in my designated spot," she says and I can tell by her tone that she is over her initial reaction. She will go in that hospital, head held high, and get to the bottom of things.

I follow her to her office where she discards her belongings and then we head elsewhere. It's a big hospital and easy to get lost in.

We get off the elevator on the second floor and my mom immediately enters the ICU striding straight up to the nurse's station.

I hang back while she talks to the nurses who are showing mom Elena's chart and pointing at whatever is written on the papers.

When she comes back over to me she says, "Christian, I am glad you are here but, this sounds very serious so I have to warn you, she doesn't look so good according to the nurse." Then she takes my hand, "Are you sure you want to go in with me?"

_What? Of course, are you crazy? I have to see her. My mom has no idea how much Elena means to me._

"Yes," I say in my calm façade, "I'll be fine."

We walk down the hall that seems to drag on forever as my apprehension builds. My heart is pounding and I cannot control the shaking of my body, as we get closer to the sliding door with the curtain pulled so no one can see in. I can already hear the faint beeping sounds of the machines in the room as we enter.

_Oh my God! I'm gonna be sick! I am suddenly sweating and the bile rising quickly into my throat._ I rush back out of the room and glance frantically around when my mom is suddenly beside me with a small trashcan. I grab it and bend over it, retching over and over. _I can't stop, _I think to myself as the tears leak from my eyes.

"Oh Christian, darling, are you going to be alright?" My mom asks in a soothing tone.

After a few minutes, the vomiting and dry heaving subside and I feel a little better at least. My mom leaves me as I sink to the floor against the wall, clutching to the trashcan between my legs. She returns with a damp cloth and some water.

"Do you need to lie down?" She asks.

"No, no, I am okay now." I say still shaking. _I need to go back in. I need to see her._

My mom helps me up and again for the second time, we enter the small room. Elena has a monitor and two IV machines hooked up to her. My mom is talking but I can only vaguely hear her.

"….Broken arm, jaw, and four ribs." I hear her state.

Elena has a bandage over the area just to the side under her chin where apparently surgery was just done. Her face is completely black and blue and swollen so badly that I hardly recognize her. It doesn't seem real to see her look like this. There is a padded bandage to her left arm as well.

"She is still under anesthesia at the moment, Christian, so she will not wake up fully for a while yet." My mom informs me.

She goes to the side of the bed and pulls up a chair, taking Elena's right hand, "Elena, it's Grace. I am here."

Elena's eyes are so swollen I don't think she can open them but her head slightly turns in the direction of my mom's voice and a small moan escapes her.

I don't know how long I simply sit and stare at her, angry with myself and Linc for this happening to her. Nurses come in and out through the night to check her over and at times we leave the room while they assess her. At one point, a nurse brings us some snacks from the refrigerator on the unit. The first rays of light slice through the curtain when my mom gets up.

"Christian, I will be back. I need to run to my office for a while. Are you okay to stay here?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I tell her.

After she leaves, I move to her seat beside the bed and take Elena's hand.

"Hi," I say softly but I cannot contain the despair and anguish I have pent up inside me. I rest my head down on top of our entwined fingers and quietly let the tears come out.

"Elena, I am so sorry." I plead with my choked sobs. "This is all my fault."

Suddenly, her fingers tighten around mine and I glance up at her face. It is still hard to fight the need to vomit but I suppress it, swallowing hard.

"Baby," she whispers breathlessly through clenched teeth, not moving her jaw to speak. "Not…..your…..fault." I think she says though it is hard to understand her. Then through the puffy blackened skin near the corner of her eyes I see the tears leaking out. I know that she is still out of it due to the drugs in her system but she did attempt to console me nonetheless. I give her a small smile though she cannot see it.

She does attempt to open her eyes but they are no more than slits beneath the bulging, puffy lids as she turns her head toward me. Slowly, she unwinds her hand from mine and raises it up to my cheek. I immediately put mine over it and press me cheek against her cool hand.

I feel compelled to give her strength so I say, "You are such a strong woman. You are going to be okay."

She doesn't speak but a small moan escapes her and she turns her head away.

By the time my mom returns, I am composed, still sitting beside her with her hand in mine once again and feel better that Elena knew I was there for her.

"Well Christian, why don't we go and get some breakfast. Then you can go home. It's been a long night and you need to get some sleep."

"Okay," I say and quickly squeeze her hand, getting one in return before letting go of her. It was a silent goodbye for now.


	36. Control 36 Near the Breaking Point

**Warning: club scene. Thanks to all of you who are still with Christian as he becomes a man, a Dom. I appreciate your thoughts so please review. Thanks again, without you I wouldn't be here.**

It was a quiet ride home by myself, leaving my mom behind. She told me she would take a nap in the doctor's lounge but that I should go home. I am still trying to wrap my head around seeing Elena in such a state when I flop down on my bed, exhausted, more mentally than physically. All of my muscles are tight and I cannot calm down.

Suddenly, though my vision is a blur and there is a fierce ringing in my ears, I manage to vaguely comprehend the bedside lamp crashing to the floor. Then I hear other clanking and crashing sounds and see shattered glass, glistening all around me. Pain, I feel so much pain oozing out of me.

"Christian!" My dad's voice bursts through the shadowy nothingness state of my mind.

I snap back to reality when his arms come around me tightly, realizing only then, that I was thrashing about. I struggle to break free from the gentleness of his embrace. I don't deserve it and I can't accept it!

I lurch forward hitting the bed with a thud and sob as my body falls to the floor in utter despair. I am numb as I sit there staring at my dad's horrified expression. I can't speak or move as I continue to watch him frantically grab a couple of towels from my bathroom and wrap up my bleeding feet. He cringes as he pulls a rather large shard of glass from the bottom of one foot but still, I do not feel it.

"Christian," he says sternly after wrapping up my bloody bare feet and clasping his hands on either side of my face.

My glazed and watery eyes meet his and I can see his eyes wild with fear, or is it mine, simply reflected in his eyes? At this point I cannot even tell. My mind shuts down and I welcome the dark abyss.

"Christian," I hear my mom's soothing tone coming from somewhere in the distance.

I stir and try opening my eyes to see my mom hovering over me where I lay on my bed. My memory is a blur but bits and pieces are coming back together slowly. _I lost it! I totally lost it!_

I stare blankly at my mom who asks, "Are you feeling better?"

"I…..I think so." I respond.

Then I see her warm smile, "I am glad you are feeling better. Come on, let's go get something to eat, okay?"

"Sure," I say.

That is when I realize that it is late afternoon as my mom goes to the kitchen to prepare something for us to eat. I however, march straight to the piano and start playing, a song that starts slowly but crescendos toward the middle with a dark menacing sound before trailing off again to a lighter tune.

By the time I am done, mom has the food ready. Though it is sore walking, my mom must have put the gauze on the bottom of my feet while I was still asleep so they would not hurt so much.

I had inadvertently stepped on shards of glass from the various knickknacks that were on my dresser and desk, also the lamp I had knocked over.

As I sit and listen to my mom make light conversation, I can think of only one thing: I have to do it. I have to go to the club tonight. After we are done eating I will make the call to let them know I will be arriving later tonight. _Yes, I have to do this. I need this, I need it now!_

It's almost 10pm when I get to the club and the hostess greets me, "Hello sir, your request was met so please go into the Blue room. Your sub is in there waiting now."

The Blue room is a lounge type room where we can meet before going elsewhere to play. I mentally prepare myself as I head in that direction. _I can do this! I will dominate her. I will control everything that goes on between us. I will have that power to override any insecurity that I have right now._ I stride confidently into the room to see the brown haired girl sitting quietly on the couch with her hands clasped in her lap, eyes averted to the floor.

"Amy," I address her.

"Hello sir," she responds without looking up.

I remain standing and read her list of limits. I say nothing and neither does she. When I am finished I set down the papers and say, "Are you ready to begin?"

"Yes sir," she says in a tone dripping with arousal.

"Good. Let's go."

Once inside the room, I waste no time, "Strip slowly. Arouse my…..curiosity with your body." It's interesting how I can immediately slip into that Dom role when I came into the room. When I started this in college, I had to put more effort into it. Now, it's almost natural.

I sit down in a plush chair and she stands before me in her black leather corset and skirt, black pantyhose, and tall black heels.

"You may look at me," I say authoritatively, "Seduce me."

She then looks up and her green eyes sparkle with so much heat. Her hair is still down but I'll punish her for that later.

She turns her back to me and looks over her shoulder as she slowly unfastens the zipper on her skirt with her long pink painted nails. She sticks her ass out as she slides the leather down over it, letting in drop to the floor. Underneath of it she has on garters to hold up her silky hose. Then she steps out of the pooled fabric and turns to face me. The bright blush of embarrassment on her face is already turning me on. She walks up to me and kneels at my feet, looking up at me through her lashes.

With trembling fingers, she unties the halter strap around her neck but the tight corset does not fall.

"Stop!" I demand and reach forward to pulls her voluptuous breasts free over the cups of the garment. She remains still as I pinch her perky nipples.

"You know the safe words." It wasn't a question.

She nods an says, "Yes sir."

I stand then and go over to a table with toys on it. I find the nipple clamps and return to her where she is obediently waiting. Her face grimaces when I apply them but, _damn, _seeing the chain strung across her chest from one nipple to the other is sexy but by her tense expression I know that they are somewhat painful for her.

"Turn around," I demand.

After she does, still on her knees, I grab her hair forcefully and yank her head back whispering, "You don't have it braided. You will be punished for that."

Her body trembles as I take my time braiding the long brown locks. _Fuck me, I love to tug on that braid!_

"Stand facing the chair and bend over. I want your face in that seat."

She obeys me and I retrieve a few more toys from the table, taking my time and making her wait.

First is the blindfold that I tie securely. Then I stand behind her raised ass and start kneading the pale skin. All the anguish, anger, and despair that I have bottled up inside has spilled over to flow through my arms and down to my hands. I quickly grab the whip and take a step back as it whooshes through the air snapping when it strikes my little brown haired girl's ass leaving a welt in its wake.

"Ugh!" Amy moans from the bite of the sting.

That was so invigorating, like an electrical current taking all of my worries and frustrations out through my hands, along the whip, and finally ending on Amy, though she doesn't know how much I need this or my reasons why.

My demons are not something I share with anyone. The braid is hypnotizing as I am reminded of my dark past. _I want you to feel my pain_, my mind screams. Where that came from I don't know but I chant it over and over in my head while I continue to whip her. I think it's been 8 so far. _Damn, what a sight! _Her head is on the chair seat, her hands gripping it, her ass is in the air with the garters and stockings still on, and her long legs are trembling in her heels.

"Since this is only for my pleasure, and not yours, I will whip you 6 more times. Do you understand?" I ask her.

"Yes sir!" she says loudly.

As I finish the 6 strokes, she calls out, "Oh…..stop…..hurts…..it hurts….."

I know that she is just saying it as part of the scene and doesn't mean it, at least I think so, so I pause and grab her braid yanking her head back, "You will safe word if you need to?"

"Yes sir!" She replies obediently.

Hearing no 'yellow' or 'red' called out I continue with the last three strokes. I don't hold back whipping her bare ass leaving streaks of pink crisscrossing the pale skin. Then I am done, I drop the whip as if it were on fire.

"Mmh…." I groan as my fingers find her wet center and I thrust them inside.

"Let me hear you. I want to hear your cries." I demand knowing that she was holding back.

I start with one finger, coaxing her just inside her walls as she starts writhing to my touch. Then, I add a second…..and a third. I move my fingers inside her against her front wall while listening to her moans grow louder and louder. When the pitch of her moans gets higher, it indicates to me that her orgasm is building. _I do this to her. I cause her to lose her inhibitions and cry out. I am the one who decides what she needs, what I need._

I stop. I pull my fingers from her as she whimpers in protest and grab her braid, pulling her up from the chair. I turn her around.

"You can't come yet," I inform her before narrowing my eyes at her and say, "On your knees!"

She lowers herself as she responds, "Yes sir."

I haven't even taken off my clothes yet, too eager to get started so it becomes her job. She unfastens my pants as we stare at one another.

"Don't touch me above my waist." I remind her though it was in my profile.

"No sir," she says.

She pushes my jeans and briefs down past my knees. I take my thick hard length in my hand and order, "Open your mouth."

Without hesitation she does so and I push into her. Her mouth is so hot and she does her best to accommodate my size though it is a bit much for her to handle.

_So good! So hot! _I grab her braid tightly in my fist, using it to fuck her mouth. But after a while she starts moaning like she is enjoying it so I quickly pull out.

"This is for _my_ pleasure alone!" I tell her.

I pull on the nipple clamps biting into her flesh and she moans again. At this point, I want to hear her beg for me to let her come. _I am the one in control! It's complete euphoria._

I flip her over quickly onto the table and spread her legs. I get a bullet from the toys and slip it inside her wet center. With the remote I can control the intensity.

Then she is back on her knees with my cock in her mouth. She hungrily takes it. One of my hands holds the remote while the other is clutching the braid once again.

"Hah…..hah….." I can hear my own panting as she works me over with her mouth.

Her head bobs faster….and faster as I increase the vibrations on the remote, her stifled moans ignored.

She reaches up and fondles my balls, rolling them in her hand and I come completely undone. My own building orgasm is rapidly boiling to the surface.

My body tenses and my balls tighten just before I groan, "Ngh," pulling out to finish with my seed squirting over her lips, tongue, and chin. _Damn, that's sexy, _I think as I ride the waves of my orgasm causing my entire body to shudder.

I glance down at her and say, "Beg me."

She knows exactly what I am talking about and responds with, "Please sir, please allow me to come."

"Good girl," I praise her and press my palm to her cheek, "Lie down on your stomach on the bed, feet on the floor."

She does as told and I remove the bullet swiftly. Then I grab a vibrator with a small part that will stimulate her clit while it's inside her.

She is so fucking wet when I insert it and turn it on. Her legs shake in response to my pounding her with the toy. Her hands clutch at the sheets, knuckles nearly white.

Her cries become louder as I pick up the pace, fucking her with the toy while it vibrates her sensitive clit. It doesn't take long for her to stiffen and scream.

"Oh fuck!" she cries out. "Yes…..oh God…..yes."

I can feel her muscles spasm as I continue my relentless pace. As her body trembles before me and her cries turn to soft moans, I slow my pace until I finally stop and take out the toy.

I allow her a few minutes of rest and sit down on the bed next to where her spent body lay motionless.

"That, (hah)…..was (hah)….." She tries to say but her breathing is still erratic and her skin moistened with sweat.

I glance down at her with amusement. It is like having a time out as we both gather our wits about us. Already though, I feel a thousand percent better and like I can handle anything thrown at me now. There is nothing that I cannot accomplish in any area of my life. I will get through the whole Elena deal and make my million.

After a few quiet moments I say, "Ready for round two."

Amy smiles, "Yes sir….."


	37. Control 37 The End

These past three weeks since Elena first went to the hospital have given me a whole new insight on where I need to go and what I need to do with my life. I have a clarity that I didn't have before. With the help of the club I am more focused than ever before to fulfill my goals.

I was given 10,000 dollars by my dad to invest a while ago and I have since doubled it. But that is not nearly enough to get going. It will take a lot more money and the right mindset to accomplish what I have set out to do.

I read an article on businessmen that talked about image. Yes, that is a significant component to achieve what I desire. I need to get myself out there into the business world to show them that I am confident and trustworthy. In order to do that, I need to look and act professional. To jump start that, I am attending all the functions that my parents have that could give me political and business acquaintances. So some of the money I made is going to my wardrobe. That way, I look the part as well as act it.

My drive and Dom nature have given me confidence to stand up straight and take the bull by the horns. I haven't visited Elena since that first night but have been at the club almost every night and I can already feel the change happening.

Those women, the ones at the club, to submit to me they have to put their bodies and minds under my control. They have to trust me that I know what they need, when they need it in order for it to work. That not only gives me the upper hand but this feeling of superiority. I pay close attention to their signals so that I can adjust the pain or pleasure that they desire. To know deep down that I can do that is success in itself.

I don't feel that a board room is much different in that I need to use just the right amount of authority but at the same time get them to trust me.

Just like at the club, there is no emotion involved. As long as I bury that, I can keep focused. Elena has helped me immensely to learn to control the emotional parts of my being and for that I owe her. I am fully aware that love is a fantasy. Sure, I believe that my family thinks they love me and I care for them deeply but no woman is going to love someone as fucked up as I am. And I as well, have no room in my life for pretending to love them. It just isn't in me to love anyone.

When I look at my subs, all I see are brown haired girls that I want to beat in order to release all my pain and anger. They are essentially business associates. We give one another what we want within the bounds of the contract.

_Ring, ring_

I am pulled from my thoughts when my phone rings next to me at the dining room table.

"Hi," I say seeing that it is Elena calling me.

"Hi Christian," she says.

"It's….uh….been a while," I say.

"Yes it has." She replies. "Do you have time to meet me for lunch tomorrow at the bistro?"

"Sure, why?" I say in wonder.

"I would like to see you," she states.

"Ok, when?"

"Meet me at 1pm?"

"Ok, see you then."

For several minutes I stare at my phone after hanging up. It was so good to hear her voice, _God I miss her._

Though by the sound of her voice, I think that we both know that our relationship dynamics have changed. I can't go back to being her sub and she knows it. Seeing her so vulnerable in the hospital that night was a shock to my system. Even after Linc would hit her and she came to my mom, she never appeared weak like she did that night. That image will forever be engrained in my mind.

**The following day, Elena POV**

I am sitting at the table sipping my wine when Christian comes in. He steps inside wearing jeans and a collared shirt. He is different. There is a certain dignified air about him as he scans the room and his eyes fall on me. His stride is more pronounced and his chin is held high.

Though she is not supposed to say anything, my close friend from the club had told me that Christian had been going there quite frequently lately,_ as a Dom._ It's not typical for people to switch like that but just looking at him shows me that he definitely did. Though it saddens me, maybe he has found his niche.

"Hi," I say as he comes to the table of the small elegant Italian bistro.

"Elena," he says and leans down to kiss my cheek before taking the seat across from me.

"You are looking well," he says as his grey eyes sweep over me.

"Thank you. So are you." I reply.

We sit quietly while the waiter pours him a glass of wine from the bottle sitting in the stand beside our table. I can see the sparkle in his eyes, both of us silently reminiscing about our playroom time.

"Christian, you know that we can't…." I start to say but he interrupts me.

"I know," he states.

He has grown up so much from that insecure 15-year-old boy I first took into the playroom on that day. I want to help him. He did just as much for me as I did for him during our relationship. That is why I am here today.

**Christian POV**

Elena never ceases to amaze me as I sit here before her. She looks as radiant as ever in her little blue dress with her hair up and make up done to perfection. The remnants of her abuse faded as if it almost never happened.

I have to tell her that I am not a sub any longer but I don't want to see the disappointment in her eyes. _Confidence,_ I remind myself.

I get a moment of reprieve when the waiter comes to take our orders.

Then I take a deep breath, "Look Elena, I….I have….been going to the club." I pause to assess her. She does not seem ruffled by the news. I run my hand through my hair, "But….not as a sub." I say looking directly into her eyes. All I see there is tenderness.

"It isn't easy to switch roles but…..I see you are adapting well," She says while her eyes roam over me.

"It is helpful yes," I say, " But it's all because of you."

She smiles but I can tell she doesn't believe me because her smile does not reach her eyes.

"Elena," I say taking her hand into mine from across the table. "Without you I would be a junky, a drunk, or in jail by now. You were the one to help my channel all of my tormented emotions in a way that made me what I am today. For that I am eternally grateful."

There it is, a genuine smile.

"Thank you Christian." She says. "I see that my hard work paid off where you are concerned." She says teasingly.

"You know," she continues, "There were many times over the years that you told me of your dreams and goals for the future once you established what it is you wanted."

I am taken back by her words, back to the times we sat on the patio and talked, other times when we were done with a session and were simply lying on the bed. Elena has always been the one person I could talk to.

We pause as the waiter comes to set down our plates. Then I ask her what has been plaguing my mind for the past three weeks.

"What is going on with you and Linc?"

"We are working things out." She says casually.

"What does that mean?" I ask. I don't want her near that bastard but according to my mom she is still living in that house with him.

"We are settling our affairs. It's over between us." She states.

"Thank fuck for that," I mutter.

"She takes my hand and squeezes it. "You don't have to worry about me Christian, I will be just fine."

After the waiter takes away our plates, Elena reaches into her purse and pulls out an envelope, setting it down on the table in front of her.

"Christian, your parents have told me how proud they are of you for what you have been doing, investing your dad's money wisely and all the research that you have done in order to make the right choice of companies to invest in."

I chuckle, "Yeah, they said as much." I tell her.

"I want to help you. I want to help you achieve your success." Elena says very seriously all of a sudden.

The intense gaze she gives me and her tone of voice makes me straighten my back unconsciously in my seat.

"This is for you." She says sliding the envelope across the table.

I can't help the puzzled look on my face as I take it slowly. She sits quietly as I open it to reveal its contents. _Holy fucking shit!_

My shocked expression is not lost on her as she smiles back at me.

"Elena, I….I don't know what to say." I stammer as I hold a check for 100,000 dollars in my shaking hand.

"You don't have to say anything, just take that, go out there, and make your million." She states.

I study her with a mixture of admiration and fear, "You really believe in me that much?" I ask.

"Of course I do." She laughs. "I know that you can do it so here is your chance."

I give her a tender look, "Thank you."

I stare at the check thinking, _not just for me but for you too, Elena, I will prove to you that your faith in me is not misplaced. I will not fail!_

We finish our wine and I take the check when it comes. I know she invited me but I am a gentleman so I pay the bill and we head toward the door of the bistro.

Once outside, I walk her to her car. The moment is strained since this is kind of a goodbye. She must sense it too or sees it written across my face.

She cups my cheek in her hand, "Christian, I am not going anywhere and anytime you want to talk or need some advise since I am a bit business savvy, just call me."

I lean into her palm and close my eyes, taking a moment to revel in her touch one last time.

"Even in the lifestyle, if you need anything just call. Just because we are not intimate like before does not mean we are not close friends."

"So….this is not goodbye then?" I ask, lowering my eyes.

"No, no this is just the start of something new for both of us." She states.

I pull her into a tight embrace. She really is quite a woman and I will always be indebted to her for all that she has given me.

We pull back and she moves to get in her car, "I'll see you soon," she says smiling.

I can't help but smile back and say, "Definitely."

I make no move to leave until her taillights have completely vanished down the street.

I think to myself, _I won't let you down._

_**The End**_

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I think it is time to move on from this story. Not sure if a sequel is in the near future or not? This was a fun, and difficult, story to write and I appreciate all the support that you all have given me during this journey, but sadly it is time to move on. I can't say enough about how important your feedback is for any story that you read so keep in mind that the writer needs your motivation to help them in their work.**

**Love to all,**

**Tessa Moon**


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